To be a little upset about DS Christmas play?

[NannyPlum40]

My 6yr old DS has just been told what part he is doing in the Christmas play and has no words to say.

He is upset and said he wants to say something or he doesn't want to do the play because he will be bored just sat there for 30mins.

He is more then capable of learning a few lines but because he is one of the quiet ones in class (teachers words) they always give the talking parts to the loud, confident children. Does this seem to be the norm in every school?

It seems that because my DS knuckles down at school and gets on with his work rather then being chatty, he gets penalised!!

It’s a big ask of someone who has little confidence and is unable to speak in class!

In my experience it's a totally different scenario from a child who won't speak up in class. A single line is a known quantity, there's no need to worry about getting an answer wrong. You also know exactly when you have to speak up so no element of surprise. Plus there's prompts to help out.

The level of happiness they feel when they say their line is worth it for them.

Every word that jacques has said.

I have enrolled DD in a drama group. She loves it, although she thinks she must be rubbish because of the school experience. Of course it is my responsibility as well. I haven't said it isn't. But not all parents have the means to pay for extra curricular activities and school have a responsibility to develop the whole child. Making an assumption that a child can't say a line on a stay is damaging to the child.

should be 'making an assumption a child can't say a line on a stage' not stay!

So Your dc is already involved in a drama group? Shame you didn’t mention that to start with.

What’s the reason she hasn’t been given a line to say in the concert then? Have you discussed with her teacher?

flowerpots

telling me not to interfere or help my child when they face difficulties is a bit ridiculous. My child has social communication difficulties they need extra support!

pennypickle if you're asking me why I didn't mention it it is because it is irrelevant.

I'm not complaining that my child has not got a speaking part this year. Nativity plays have been and gone for my child. I am saying that generally children should be enabled to have at least one speaking part in primary as it is important to build confidence and self esteem.

The fact that my daughter does drama lessons does not mean that I think she is or will be good at it or ought to get parts by merit in the future.

Damaging to the child? WTF??!!
😂😂

Many children would crumble at being shoved on a stage in front of a large audience if they are unconfident and have received no preparation.

Would you be happy walking into a room full of people you don’t know and being requested to perform?

I have already said that by the end of primary MOST children will have had a speaking role.

Given OP’s child is 6 and has never had a speaking part isn’t surprising. This will be his second nativity. Most children in his class won’t have had a speaking part - they are 6!!

pennypickle of course it is damaging to a child to always be overlooked. I'm not talking about forcing a child to do something they are incapable of doing.

My daughter who won't speak in class was quite capable of singing a solo.

Assumptions that a quiet child is incapable of saying a line in a christmas play is damaging to the child.

Penny did you even check the name of the OP? You do know that the person you are being very rude to is not the OP?

Many children would crumble at being shoved on a stage in front of a large audience if they are unconfident and have received no preparation

That's what rehearsals are for!!

ifyoucantstandtheheat

pennypickle if you're asking me why I didn't mention it it is because it is irrelevant.
You have come on here going on and on about your children not getting speaking parts, "not being allowed a voice", not being asked to read lines, how unfair, how damaging it is etc etc and you think it's irrelevant to mention they're taking drama lessons? 😂 😂

I'm not complaining that my child has not got a speaking part this year.

Yes you are! You've said your child has the same issue, you said your child not being picked drives you mad.

as it is important to build confidence and self esteem.
Where is your evidence that giving a speaking line in the damn school play to someone who did not earn that place through talent or ability builds their confidence and self esteem? What does it do for their resilience? What does it do for their coping strategies and strength of character? What does it do for their comprehension of the world? What does it do to prepare them for adulthood?

My dd 3 didn't get a speaking part until she was in year, 6! Then she was the narrator!

Primary school plays bring out the worst in everyone

flowerpart why is this a personal attack?
Before I answer your questions why don't you answer the one I keep asking you and you keep ignoring.

Isn't it the responsbility of a teacher to nuture a child and to develop their self confidence and ability to speak in public?

I am laughing out loud at the prospect of all of these amazingly talented 6 year olds in Xmas productions.

As for your point about how does giving someone a line in a play help their self esteem?

Really?

It's pretty bloody obvious.

I know full well PP is not OP. I have no idea why she has come on to make this all about her DD who, as it turns out, is not even Primary school age and is already involved in drama so will have had opportunities to perform.

Rehearsals don’t include being shoved under the spotlight in front of an audience. One line every year is not going to increase confidence - especially if the child does not want to do it and is o Lyn doing it to appease his mum. Anyway confidence is required to sand in view of an audience. They won’t gain confidence by being made to do anything they are uncomfortable with. If learning one line provides confidence there are more subtle ways of achieving that then a bloody school concert!!

I’m sure if children are confident they will be given at least one line by the time they leave Primary school. I’ve said that several times now.

ifyoucantstandtheheat
pennypickle of course it is damaging to a child to always be overlooked

Where's your evidence of such a ludicrous thing to say? So millions of children who were never picked for the school team, never got a line in a school play, were never made prefect, were never asked to help out at parents evening, were never made lunch monitor, were all damaged by it?

Dear oh dear oh dear ifyoucantstandtheheat. You really are that parent.

My DD does not have a play this year to have a part in.

I was comparing it to the same children always being asked to speak in class masses. Do readings , say prayers etc.

It does drive me mad that DD is never asked based on a lazy teacher's assumption that she is incapable of reading out loud.

She is as capable as the next child and would be given so much more confidence if she were to be asked.

Rehearsals don’t include being shoved under the spotlight in front of an audience

Actually ours are. We ensure at least two rehearsals are in front of an audience and on the stage.

One line every year is not going to increase confidence - especially if the child does not want to do it and is o Lyn doing it to appease his mum

Actually from having dont this for 7 years now we find that the children say one line one year, three the next etc. Of course it isn't a quick fix, but it's a gradual build up throughout their school career. We give each child a line and we encourage them to do it. If they categorically don't want to, nobody is forced.

Anyway confidence is required to sand in view of an audience. They won’t gain confidence by being made to do anything they are uncomfortable with.

Agreed - hence why anyone involved with drama for children should ensure all their kids are happy and comfortable in their role.

*ifyoucantstandtheheat
Before I answer your questions why don't you answer the one I keep asking you and you keep ignoring.
Isn't it the responsbility of a teacher to nuture a child and to develop their self confidence and ability to speak in public?

I answered you several posts ago about the school and teacher's duty. It's your job and responsibility as a parent to do all this, it's the school's job to support you. Giving lines in a school play to those who have not earned it through merit (to use your words) does not develop self confidence. If you want your child to develop public speaking abilities, enter them in debates or public speaking competitions. The school play, like I said, is not a treatment programme for your child nor a platform on which to develop public speaking skills.

Now, could you answer my questions? With evidence.

Yes I have to be that parent sometimes flowerpot I have kids with additional needs.

I am not that parent in respect of school plays.

Do you know how goady you are being?

You choose to see the world from a very simplistic point of view, with no desire to see that some children need to be helped to achieve what other's find easy. That's the luxury, I suppose, of not having to parent children with additional needs.

I'm not engaging any further I don't owe you evidence.

You are being ridiculous.

Where is your evidence that it is NOT the role of a teacher to develop a child to have self confidence.

Good teachers will see it is their role to do that.

Giving lines in a school play to those who have not earned it through merit

I don't agree with children being given lines "through merit". Of course the bigger parts go to the more competent children. That isn't to say there can't be a line for each child.