To be a little upset about DS Christmas play?

[NannyPlum40]

My 6yr old DS has just been told what part he is doing in the Christmas play and has no words to say.

He is upset and said he wants to say something or he doesn't want to do the play because he will be bored just sat there for 30mins.

He is more then capable of learning a few lines but because he is one of the quiet ones in class (teachers words) they always give the talking parts to the loud, confident children. Does this seem to be the norm in every school?

It seems that because my DS knuckles down at school and gets on with his work rather then being chatty, he gets penalised!!

I don't see a problem with asking the teacher if he can have a speaking part. They'll probably say no but they may also say yes. As my dad used to say 'if you don't ask, you don't get'!

Oh dear on so many levels. Precious. Yes. Pushy. Yes. I can't believe the stress over something a simple as the nativity.

No don't ask the teacher, really very selfish to,push just your one child forward . Why should you get because you have asked? How as staff can we be expected to support every child to have a speaking part.thirty minute nativity becomes two hours.

Have we all forgotten the religious aspect, this is a religious celebration not a performance for your individual.

I’d probably use it as a lesson in coping with disappointment op.
I’m assuming lots of other children also won’t be speaking.
Sure if it happens next year and the year after then maybe you’d have a case to say something.

I get it’s upsetting when your baby is upset, honestly I do, if he’d like it the whole family could do a nativity together on Christmas Eve/day/Boxing Day for the grandparents to watch or something similar?

I think schools need to do a little better here. Every kid should get a line to say. Performing in a school show boosts and bolsters their confidence. I'm a secondary school Drama teacher. We have a system where by our year 9 and 10's take the leads, 11's (who are under enough pressure with exams) take the medium sized parts and 7 and 8's make up the chorus. It is lovely to see them progress through the ranks as they get older, before becoming a supporting cast member in their final year. All of the pupils know that this is the way we do it so we never usually have any issues. One of my Year10s is a professional actor and he worked his way up through the ranks too. In year 7 he walked off a film set as a main part and onto our stage as 'third spear carrier from the left'.

Thanks for all the replies, I've only just seen them.

I won't speak to the teacher about it, no point really. They do have songs to sing, but he wants to say his own words as well.

Drama group sounds like a good idea, I'll have a look into that.

If you are keen for your child to have a chance to perform (or rather, if that’s what your child wants)
then I would definitely recommend looking into local drama schools. Our local ones do holiday workshops with a show at the end of the day / week as well as Saturday school. Primary school teachers aren’t casting directors, some may well go for the easiest or most obvious option.

My sons school does give every child that wants it a line, which I think is the most balanced approach. But I can see why some teachers haven’t got the energy for that!

I’d get him excited about the singing and even practice together to make him look forward to it more. Tell him singing is one of the biggest things about Christmas

Your sons teacher sounds very lazy. Surely they should be prioritising the quiet Ines for talking parts? Or you know, sitting down and writing a proper script so that everyone gets a chance to participate?

If the speaking roles have been given out, the teacher cannot simply magic up extra lines from the script? It is disappointing, but do not be that parent. Your child will no doubt be one of many who don't have a speaking part, but there will be lots of songs to learn and join in with on the day.

A teacher can always magic up lines! I do it all of the time. With a primary play it is even easier!

Op, I had a thread about this last week!

Des final nativity, never had a line, but the school have done such a great job in building her confidence, she really thought she'd get one this time.

Nope, she didn't. And was really disappointed, after asking on here, I left a message for teacher to call me.
I explained about her confidence, and that I thought it was worth asking, she agreed.

DD came out of school elated to have three small lines to say.

Its not a Spielberg production, its yr 2 nativity.

Ask, they can only say no?

Wow this is exactly what is going on with my DS, he has been picked to play the sheep in school nativity play, he has no words.
Going back 2 weeks ago during parents evening teacher told me ds is shy and can be quiet at times, can't help but think they've given him a part with no words because of this!
I believe they should of done the opposite and gave him a line or 2 to break the barrier

My soon was very quiet in year 1, and got to be Joseph because he was good at doing what he was asked. The girl playing the donkey was fully in charge, and dragged Mary and Joseph round, promoting them where necessary. She is now head girl .
I think I've lost the point of why i posted here.... fond memories though.

It's all very well prioritising the quiet ones until you get a play that's unintelligible because half the kids can't be heard outside the second row or are too intimidated to speak on the day. Then it's just tedious.

I just don't see what's wrong with children learning that they're naturally talented at some things and other children are better at others, and that's okay.

Because at this age it's not about who's best, it's about giving them all the opportunity. Same with sport, music, leadership roles, etc.

Because at this age it's not about who's best, it's about giving them all the opportunity. Same with sport, music, leadership roles, etc

So should all 30 in a class be given a place on the school football/rugby team? Or just those who show natural flair for sports??

Is it only the Christmas play that your ds hasn't got a speaking part in op? What about in class assemblies etc?

Something a pp said made me wonder if these coveted speaking roles are sort of distributed over the year, or if it really is the same group of children popping up in every performance that parents get to see.

Well penny I think the point is more that a primary school teacher is highly unlikely to be skilled at identifying natural talent in every single field.
Sometimes talent doesn’t show until it is given a chance.

I would speak to the teacher. I'd be surprised if he wasn't able to be given a line.

However, the number of children I've taught over the years who tell me they don't want to speak and tell their parents thee opposite is large!

"It seems that because my DS knuckles down at school and gets on with his work rather then being chatty, he gets penalised!!"

This makes you sound trite and petty. Don't be that parent. Be the reasonable parent who is happy to have a quick word but also appreciate the bigger picture.

ferrier

Because at this age it's not about who's best, it's about giving them all the opportunity. Same with sport, music, leadership roles, etc

I disagree wholeheartedly. They all do have the opportunity to be the best, to be picked for a sports team, to be a leader.. then those with the ability get picked, those who have exhibited a propensity get picked, and others don't. As in life.

I cannot bear this 'we are all equal 'nonsense which is one of the ingredients in churning out the teenagers and graduates we are seeing nowadays who lack resilience, fall apart if they don't get what they want, can't handle stress, and the world falls apart if they ever get rejected or criticised by anyone. At home of course is where it starts, but if they're not exposed to the idea of striving to be the best/you are not all equal/coping strategies for rejection and not being selected early at school either, you are creating a really unhealthy environment and precedent that is dooming them to later failure.

he doesn't want to do the play because he will be bored just sat there for 30mins

*I'd be telling him that this attitude was appalling and that he will do the part he is given and make the best of it. Don't encourage the "I'm not doing it unless I get to do it my way attitude"

Excatly this!
As someone said, for the rest of the year there's hardly any interest in doing dram or plays then all of a sudden everyone wants a piece of the action!

Mine never got a speaking role and I did have to put up with a tantrum one year but tough luck! They are hardly mentally scared and it will be forgotten about once the play is over I'm sure.

It's already been said but I really agree it's a very good way to learn about dissapointment and build resilience.
You can't fix every disappointment he is going to come across . In the scheme of things this is pretty minor so I would say it's a good way of you teaching him how to cope. I.e., by being positive and upbeat about it.

flowerpot

I completely disagree with your post.

When they are older they can build resilience, a quiet primary school needs encouragement not to be overlooked (again) by louder more confident children. This is not a professional production it is a f*ing nativity play.

My youngest has had this issue, and it is now suspected she has ASD the assumption being that because she doesn't talk much in class she wouldn't cope with a part. She had one teacher who gave her an opportunity to sing a solo and she wasn't great but she loved it. Always giving parts to the same children damages the confidence of little ones. My daughter has never been asked to read a prayer or do a reading in mass in the catholic school that she goes to. She is now year 4. It drives me mad. She can read as well as the next child and it would boost her confidence greatly to be asked to do it. I do think it is lazy teaching.

Yes every child will have something they are more talented at but it is far more important to give every child a voice in the early years of their education.

The talented children will have opportunities all through their lives.

ifyoucantstandtheheat
When they are older they can build resilience,

Oh dear. There's the problem.

ifyoucantstandtheheat
This is not a professional production it is a f*ing nativity play.
Who said anything about it being a professional production? As you say, it's just a f*ing nativity play.

My youngest has had this issue
There really isn't any issue.

and it is now suspected she has ASD the assumption being that because she doesn't talk much in class she wouldn't cope with a part.
Not sure what a highly suspect suspected ASD diagnosis from merely not talking in class (???) has to do with this. Maybe she couldn't cope with a part for a variety of reasons. Some children can cope with things, others can't.

She had one teacher who gave her an opportunity to sing a solo and she wasn't great but she loved it.
She wasn't great. She may have loved it. There are many things to love to do. A school play is meant to be a performance. The audience is meant to enjoy it. It is not enjoyable watching or listening to children who aren't good, except for you, the parent.

Always giving parts to the same children damages the confidence of little ones.
If your children's confidence is damaged by not being picked, then you have proved my original point. They are lacking in resilience. Children who have coping strategies and have resilience do not have their confidence damaged by not being picked.

My daughter has never been asked to read a prayer or do a reading in mass in the catholic school that she goes to. She is now year 4. It drives me mad. She can read as well as the next child
Then why do you think she has not been picked?

it would boost her confidence greatly to be asked to do it.
As above.

I do think it is lazy teaching.
No, it's good teaching. It's demanding, unhelpful parenting.

but it is far more important to give every child a voice in the early years of their education.
Every child has a voice. Some get picked for sports teams, for productions, for prefect roles, some don't. We are not all equal. Those who exhibit behaviours which excel get picked or put themselves in the position. That is life.

The talented children will have opportunities all through their lives.
All children have the opportunity. It depends what you do with it.

flowerpot I have never complained once to our school.

they are fucking 6 years old. Bet you have overconfident kids with no communication issues! I have 2 with ASD for those children (and many others) resilience needs to be taught. Not giving them the opportunity does not build resilience it damages confidence.

Some children need to be encouraged to become confident that is the job of a teacher.

Good teachers do this!