AIBU to think it's a bit weird to put your photo as a bride as as your main

[LoveforPGTipsMonkey]

profile picture on FB/Twitter? especially if you haven't just got married!
Isn't it like saying 'I'm a wife first and foremost'?

It really, really isn’t the big deal you’re trying to make it out to be. It’s a picture of herself that she likes.

I don’t have a wedding picture up, but if I did, the image I’d be trying to portray would be ‘I actually scrub up ok’.

I really don’t understand the defensiveness on this thread as I too, immediately discount someone with a bridal shot as their profile pick as someone lacking in identity, imagination and self awareness. Makes me laugh actually.

Every profile picture is chosen to portray something, at least subconsciously

You're overthinking it. Most people simply have a picture of themselves to show whose profile it is, and they pick the most flattering photos and/or things that are good memories. Seems like a wedding photo covers both bases.

too, immediately discount someone with a bridal shot as their profile pick as someone lacking in identity, imagination and self awareness

Is that a joke? If not, you are a judgemental fool and you're lacking all those things yourself.

Why are you still reading then, PoorYorrick, if it 'embarrasses' you so much? You've posted a lot on this thread, the same again and again. There's a fine line between having your say and harassment.

Because I've finished my book and feel like browsing Mumsnet. I haven't claimed I've got anything better to do at the moment, but I won't be starting other threads attempting to get a bunch of people to tear OP to pieces.

If you think my posts constitute harassment (ffs), report them. The mods are totally unpredictable.

Every profile picture is chosen to portray something, at least subconsciously

I guess the only way we can satisfy you is to portray ourselves with black squares?

Ooooh this could be about me.
Not so young.
Recently changed my profile picture to one of my wedding day.
Which occured a few years ago.

Largely independent.

Did it because I was bored of current profile picture and like that one.

Lovefor I used 'poor' because she's unwittingly the subject of your fixation. I think there could be something in the fact you seem focussed on her 'happy marriage' tbh.
And why keep mentioning her looks? You think she looked 'better' in her more natural photos, well maybe she prefers her wedding look? Or maybe she doesn't...who cares.

No sarcasm at all. I'm not as articulate as PoorYorrick but am coming from the exact same viewpoint as them; the original post was the utter opposite of feminism - tearing another woman down for no decent reason.

I'm not going to report your posts Poor, they say a lot about a poster. I'm only idly speculating why you're being so repetitively nasty? OP isn't being abusive to anybody on the thread but it's coming back to her in waves because some posters find the topic too near the knuckle for some reason.

All OP's explanations are being refuted anyway so what else is there for her to say?

Will you be on all the other threads that do that then, PinkPanther? There are a LOT of them.

I recognise some of the posters from those threads on this one but... perhaps they're playing devil's advocate?

I'm not going to report your posts Poor, they say a lot about a poster.

This actually made me laugh, sorry.

Boy, if you think I'm a cow, I know this woman who posted a photo of herself on her wedding day, and it wasn't even recent! What a beeyatch!

I'm only idly speculating why you're being so repetitively nasty?

As I said before, I don't like attempted character assassinations and bitchfests about innocent people who have done nothing wrong. I don't like women who try to tear others down and I REALLY don't like it when they attempt to justify it with faux intellectualisation.

I suppose I could sit here and try to analyse why these things grind my gears, but as you like to say, nobody cares what anyone on the internet thinks, right?

I'm sorry Lying. I didn't realise if you disagreed with someone on one thread you had to repeat that view on every other similar one

I'll have to hand back my MN membership then as I only have time to comment on a few random threads that have piqued my interest. Aww

Poor rabbiting on? no one beats you on that! and you obviously love the sound of your own voice, with all the long words too and actually you sound pompous now. Essentially though, would you prefer I didn't respond to you with explaining myself, I thought it's generally better to engage rather than ignore someone, or than being even nastier back? your lengthy posts do ask for lengthy replies, still haven't caught up with you.
Where is the 'character assassination'? calm down fgs. Did I say she was a bad person? Or that it's a crime to prioritise the wife role? no I asked whether that's what she may mean by the photo. Plus I have a right to cringe (I'm not the only one) but that's not affecting anyone, nor should it. Also how do you know that I don't address my own issues? I do. Or that I pay attention to many photos on twitter? I don't, I'm interested in this one and the whole concept. I won't be responding anymore as I've really covered it all, you don't take any positive points I make, I'm sure you can find someone else to tell off.

hot and Ecu - you may be right, she never used them before, so I thought 'why now?', but possibly in her case it is 'good memory plus I look good' even if nothing wrong with previous non-bridal photos.

Oh good God, I am not going through yet more of that crap.

All I will say is: you think I've made too many judgments of you based on too little evidence. That appears to be exactly what you've done to this woman, analysing all the character flaws you imagine are expressed in a Facebook profile pic and inviting us to join in speculating about her "motives".

Her motive is almost certainly to have a profile pic that makes her happy. Really. Sometimes people are just that boring.

So to answer your question: yes, I think you are being unreasonable. And I think you need to work on why this picture disturbs you so much, because that's the only way you will be happy. And also because, since you use social media, it's the only way you'll avoid a hernia.

Kelsoo haha - do you have a veil in it, and just you head shot?

question I mention it to answer some posters who said I was being bitchy about her looks. Well you see you try to see my motive - re 'happy marriage* which is fine by me, in exactly the same way I try to analyse her motives, I can't see what's wrong with that. I'm not saying anything bad about her as a person, I'm critical of her photo choice but never said I see it as some sort of crime! it's an opinion and a motivation analysis. But I accept - as others say - that sometimes it's not about statements.

My profile photo is a wedding photo, because it's the most recent photo I have of myself where I'm happy with my appearance. My hair is nice, I'm not vaguely grey looking from the children, and it makes me happy to look at because it was a good day.

Judge away.

from looking after*

You did say some slightly bitchy things about her appearance OP, to be fair - 'the make-up is quite unnatural looking' and 'they'd keep seeing me in that veil haha'.
You've admitted you wouldn't say those things to her face as that would be unkind...

ThePink how is that 'tearing down'?? Did I say she was a murderer/a liar/ a cheat? Even if she did want to say she's a wife first and foremost, is that some sort of crime? I don't see it like that, I was wondering whether marriage has changed her. I may not agree with that stance but it doesn't mean I tear down everyone who makes that statement. I did take back 'weird' - it's unusual but 'weird' was too negative.
I agree you are the same as Poor in being OTT about what I meant to say, just thankfully not as pompous or nasty as she is. I did wonder whether she was showing off practising her writing skills.

Lying I wish I could understand what makes it so 'close to the knuckle'?

I think you're way overthinking it op.

I got married 3 years ago and have used several photos from the wedding as profile pictures.

I spent a fortune on professional, high end, hair and make up, which obviously I don't usually do. I'm averagely good looking generally and have several 'nice' pics of me but I looked fantastic on my wedding day and they are by far the nicest pictures of me I've ever had taken.

It seems obvious to me that these would be used as profile pictures on social media, where generally people choose the most flattering picture they have.

I find it odd that you find it odd tbh!