AIBU to think it's a bit weird to put your photo as a bride as as your main

[LoveforPGTipsMonkey]

profile picture on FB/Twitter? especially if you haven't just got married!
Isn't it like saying 'I'm a wife first and foremost'?

sorry meant 'without knowing me, how can..'

some other words missing there too - being distracted atm.

Karri yes that's quite strange, she seems stuck. Do you think she's nostalgic even though it was short lived? or a message to her ex saying that she's sorry about break-up?

I'm allowed to ask for opinions

Ugh, stop channeling Voltaire. My issue with this nasty thread isn't that I think you shouldn't be allowed to start it.

Has it escaped you that my post was in form of a question (AIBU) - which allows for the fact that I'm AIBU to some extent?

No, I got that, thanks. And my response is, since you're asking - yes, I think you're being unreasonable, and mean spirited, and spiteful.

She's not a random woman either, I know her superficially through others hence knowing she used to be independent

Oh my God. So in your eyes, a woman who posts a wedding photo can't possibly be independent? Are you also of the opinion that a woman in a short skirt must be thick as shit?

Btw my degree was sociology

I believe you.

I can equally say, if you don't like a thread, shrug and skip through

You asked for my opinion. As you said, you posted in AIBU. Did this woman ask for yours?

I know for sure that I didn't feel the rage about this photo, I exactly felt that it was an odd thing to do, a bit cringe at worst

Eh? You said you thought it was weird, that it suggested she had no further identity or history, and have implied pretty strongly that you think it means she is not independent. That's slightly more than 'a bit cringe', wouldn't you say?

You've taken exception to my response to this thread. What do you think this poor girl would feel if she found it and knew it to be about her?

I don't know what her motives were for this photo because unlike you, I have absolutely no bloody idea who she is. But I don't like spitefulness, I don't like women who prey off each other and I don't like bitchfests about random anonymous people who haven't done anything wrong.

I am soooo damn tempted to tell you what my profile pic is because I can only imagine what you'd make of it. Obviously I won't. But dang, your response would be a clanger.

I’m getting married next year and will live putting up our wedding picture. My current photo is on holiday 7 years ago....does that mean I am first and foremost in moajorca. I look happy and slim. I hate the fb post police. It is my page and I will put on it whatever I want.

No I don't think it's weird if people want to put up a photo of themselves on a special day, looking their best in a nice dress.

OP... start a thread about the size of Victoria Beckham's bottom or whether any random female celebrity should have been wearing x, y, z... you'll have rabid interest then, such is the contrariness of this site....

You really have hit some sore points. Why anybody should care what random people on the internet think is a mystery but like I said - female celebrities are fair game for a bitchfest, don't bother with male ones.

How judgemental! And ridiculous. My profile pictures are the ones where I look the nicest. Simple as that.

Bullshit you were asking from a feminist perspective. You were bitching and -badly- trying to back peddle after you realised the majority of posters judged your OP as complete assholery.

This is like one of those threads where people describe their offence at being referred to as "Ms" by some poor sod who neither knows nor cares about their marital status

YANBU to wonder op.

BTW I say this as someone who probably will overuse a wedding photo as their profile picture.

Btw my degree was sociology

Explains it all.

PinkPanther, you're being ironic with that post, aren't you?

What's your first degree in, hotbutteredcrumpets?

Eh? Do people really have these thought processes?!
OP, it's far weirder to inspect the profile pics of a woman you clearly don't even know and then start what can only be described as a Mickey Mouse pseudo-intellectual personality analysis on the poor unsuspecting sod. You're clearly hung up on it. It's made for a cringeworthy read.

Physics and nanotechnology. Why?

Lying thank you, the really strange thing is, I never said she looked bad on the photo, I said she looked better on her previous more natural ones.
I also said it was not about looks - even if I wanted to compete on that front, we are such different types visually that it would be no point. We both look quite attractive, though different types. I hope that helps dispel the completely OTT reaction of Poor. I'm really not as hateful about the photo as you try to portray me - I do not feel 'rage' about it, it's exactly a bit cringe and I'm interested whether she's making a statement about her priorities - I was ASKING rather than saying that being a wife as a priority is bad. I thought it was strange coming from previously unmarried/liberal woman. Again whether she is or not, I don't feel rage. I'm interested if she's changed since marriage. Maybe she hasn't.

Fluffy I'm really not policing, it's my opinion that it's unusual/strange and the fact is, you don't see many brides in veil profile pics. But it's only my opinion, I was interested to see if others agreed.

You asked for my opinion. As you said, you posted in AIBU. Did this woman ask for yours?
Oh dear, Poor - I think MN would shut down if every thread (or even most threads) were created with permission from whoever/their action being discussed. The whole 'Relationships' thread would not exist as usually it's some criticism involved without their permission, most of AIBU too. The point is, it's anonymous so it could be about anyone - I was asking about the whole concept of bridal pics used by mature women as ID.
If I was writing to this woman with my opinion on public or even private twitter, then I would be out of order and it could be would be upsetting her (or not!). You can respond all you like but you are being hugely aggressive, I didn't call this woman any names - it's not insulting to say that her priority is being a wife (if that's the case), and that's alI I said. I can't see how she could suffer even if she did read/recognise herself - surely if that's her sentiment, she'd be pleased it was seen as such, and if not - why would she care. Other posters disagree in a calm way - and I accepted that I shouldn't call it 'weird' even if I'm not a fan of it.
Otoh posting anything on social media can invite opinions and comments, people know this! I absolutely bet her followers commented on the photo too as she never had it up before - whether good or bad (not to her face obviously). If someone's too sensitive about thoughts/comments that they don't even hear directly, they don't post their photos on social media. And as I said I never said she looked bad.

question I do know about her quite a bit, we are not friends. If I was a friend (or my friend did this) I'd ask them - genuinely curious, but without saying it was weird, granted.
I admitted I shouldn't call it 'weird', surely that's fine - why is she 'poor' exactly? she's happily married, right? she wouldn't feel 'poor' after reading this thread even if she realised it was about her. There is nothing insulting towards her, I actually said her previous photos were better but that it's not a bad photo just not looking like herself as much. I was discussing the motives of anyone similar doing the same.

What makes me laugh is that soooo many 'normal' profile pics. are nothing like the person looks like ''in real life'' anyway. Beauty filters, bloody silly animal filters and gazing dolefully up at the camera in a good light, grinning insanely over a table of drinks ect ...

Every profile picture is chosen to portray something, at least subconsciously. I've chosen on of me pissed with my mates, aren't i sociable and popular. Here i am at the top of a mountain, aren't i adventurous. I've chosen a picture of me with no make up on in my pj's, i don't give a fuck, me.

To me the bridal photos just reflect genuine happy moments in the posters life when they looked half decent. No big deal. No worse than any other choice.

ThePink I did ask from feminist perspective, didn't back-peddle on that. And some of the feministss on this thread agreed. I back-peddle on calling it weird, that's why I ask AIBU - surely it's better that I admitted being aibu on that, if you call that back-peddling.

AIBU threads mean that the poster is prepared to back peddle!

thank you, iBiscuit

bad people who know little about sociology like to look down their noses at it.

I studied it, and it's stood me in good stead over the years, even now in a (superficially, because there's sociology in just about everything) very different subject area and with a wad of overrated tech-related qualifications under my belt.

I get defensive

I did ask from feminist perspective, didn't back-peddle on that

But you did it from a misogynistic and rude start point.

Oh stop blathering OP. You say you notice things for being 'a bit cringe', well your back pedalling and faux intellectualising and rabbiting on and on in justifications on starting this attempted character assassination is more toe-curling than any vintage photos on social media.

Address your own issues. You're projecting more than my local Cineworld and it is frankly embarrassing to read. There will be lots of pictures on social media, if this is how much you read into them then you're going to give yourself a hernia. The issue is not with bridal photos, or this poor unsuspecting sap, it's with you.

Every profile picture is chosen to portray something, at least subconsciously

Yes, EXACTLY Laiste, that was whatt the thread was about, I wish I put it that way originally instead of using the inflammatory 'weird' word.