After divorce did you change your surname?

[Justoneme]

Following on from another thread I am interested in knowing; after divorce did you revert back to your maiden name?

If yes why?
And if no why?

I wouldn’t like the idea of asking the ex for permission if I want to take my dd on holiday etc

What do you mean? As in, abroad?

My mum kept her married name but changed from Mrs to Ms.

Her reason was everyone locally knew her as Mrs Marriedname, she worked at a school so all the local families knew her through that. I suspect also keeping the same name as her children was important, and she'd had her married name longer than her maiden name. Both names are very common and boring so no particular feeling of "oh I've always loved that name".

My ex still had her married name (she was separated from exDH when we dated) because she wanted to keep the same name as her DC

I changed my name back to my maiden name even though my DS name was different as a result. Don’t know why you’d want to keep an ex’s name just to be the same surname as your kids. It’s just a name. Plenty of people have different names to their kids. My DH’s exW still keeps his name and it does annoy me. Nothing I can do though!

I kept it as a) I preferred it and b) I got married young, so most people only knew me as married name.
And now with new partner - if we got married, he’d like me to take his name, but his ex-wife kept his name (I assume) because of their kids - so that feels weird to me!

frankly I did not have a 'maiden name' - it was just my name and i kept it. therefore divorce was no problem..:)

I went back to my birth name because I didn't want his name anymore. If I get married again I'd never change my name.

As far as I'm aware unless both parents are present you are supposed to carry evidence they've given consent for their child to be taken abroad.
It's to prevent kidnapping by a parent. That said, you may not always be asked (regardless of relationship to ex/partner/dh or surnames).
It's a complete myth that you aren't asked if you have the same name.

I'm married, dh took my name upon marriage and ds has my name however when he was younger dh took him to France for 3 days alone. We all had the same name (mine) I got a call from British security at the airport to clarify I had in fact given consent. I was also asked a load of various personal questions, presumably to verify I was me. Don't know how they're cross referenced.

I also travelled alone with ds from London to Abu Dhabi then onto Brisbane Australia and was questioned at both London and Brisbane.

Helped that I had proof dh was on his way behind us (by a day) but that was due to a booking mix up caused by Etihads booking service, so he had to be put on the Next flight behind us with space. But I was still pulled aside at both airports. I don't know what Aus security would've done mind given I'd already left British soil but 🤷🏻‍♀️

Conversely, I wasn't asked when travelling to the US with ds alone, and to Italy.
Make of that what you will but we all have the exact same last name. No double barrelling or anything.

Sorry that was to
user7680

I kept mine. No DC. Changed it again when I married DH.

If I remarry I might double barrel or just keep my current name for things relating to my child - school, doctors etc.

I changed my name upon marriage. I am separating, then divorcing.
I'd like my kids to have maiden-married name
Do I need exH permission / their permission (13, 10) to change their surnames?

I had a lovely and amicable divorce and exDH remains one of my best friends however as soon as we divorced I changed my name back to my maiden name as it just seemed the 'right' thing to do.
We both have new partners and there were no children involved which made it simpler.

I'm currently divorcing. Keeping married name as want same name as kids whilst they are in school.

I won't be having any more kids and no way will I ever marry again.

What I'm not sure about is whether, once divorce complete, I remain Mrs married name or miss married name. I don't like ms

I still use Mrs MarriedName. I opened a new account with a retailer and put myself down as a Ms but it just looks weird to me. Every time I get the correspondence it jars me a little but I don’t know why

It didn't occur to me to change my name on marriage, and my children have my surname. So it wouldn't be an issue if we were to divorce.

DH would have been welcome to change his name to mine if he wanted but it didn't occur to him either.

I've never used Mrs as I don't like to announce my marital status in my name.

That should have said 'our children' rather than 'my children'!

My mum, incidendly a teacher, changed hers not even to her maiden name but to an older family name on her mothers side. Was no problems for either me or my brother we just went that's our mum. She kept this name when she remarried. So there was my mum with one name, my step dad and half siblings with another and me and my brother with our fathers.

There was no problem, none of us didn't feel like we didn't belong.

In fact that's the side of the family we all feel more included in, because both my brother and I are NC with our father. I'd actually love to change my name to my mothers maiden name.

That being said I do understand slightly my friend went back to her maiden name, actually a name she was still addressed by in some circles, and her youngest my god daughter got very very upset over not having the same name. They came to a compromise and added her mums name to my god daughters surname (unofficially and asked the school to add it to her class books but not the official stuff). Interestingly now my god daughter prefers to hobby just her fathers name the same as her older siblings and her half siblings.

For those that want to have the same name as their kids, why is that important to you?

For those that want to have the same name as their kids, why is that important to you?

Because we discussed it with DD and it was important to her.

I’ve changed my name on social media back to my maiden name but have my married name still in everything else, work, bank, passport etc
Can’t be bothered with changing it in an official capacity plus I like having the same name as my kids.

I kept my married name for 10 years after divorcing because one of the best things about my ex was his surname. When my DCs were grown up I married DH so changed my name then (but I still secretly prefer my ex's name!).

It's easier having the same surname as your children, especially when travelling or doing anything official. It's also a nuisance changing names when everyone demands to see documentation. I remember sending around 20 copies of my marriage certificate to various places when I changed my surname.

I'm going to keep my married name, because my maiden name is foreign and impossible to spell/pronounce for British people. My passport has always been in my maiden name though - so I will still have to lug around my marriage certificate and my divorce paperwork when I travel with DDs in future.

I have 2 kids, eldest aged 8 - travelled widely including living abroad. We have different surnames, I'm struggling to understand what's difficult/not easy about it.

I'd also be interested to know why Jacques your DD, a child, thought having the same name was important.

My MIL thinks it's important as she's worried 'people' will think I'm an unmarried mother, which is apparently a bad thing. I've obviously dismissed that reason as BS.

I'd also be interested to know why Jacques your DD, a child, thought having the same name was important

Because she "didn't want to be different from mummy". Given it was a very amicable split, and from a logistical point of view it's easier to keep my married name this just corroborated that.

But then I do discuss pretty much every household decision with my DD, a child. Her input and opinion is just as valuable as mine