AIBU to be annoyed by step-MIL's "first grandchild" comment

[thiskittenbarks]

Now I know no one should get annoyed about Facebook stuff. My DHs step brother and his gf just got their first dog. DHs step mum posted a photo of said dog on Facebook saying “my first grandchild ❤️”. She’s not remotely tongue and cheek person so I know it wasn’t meant like that, she is also very much a dog person and would genuinely consider a dog a “child”. She’s been his step mum for nearly 30 years so she’s not exactly a new addition to the family and we are all close.
Not to mention the fact me and DH have previously had a dog - we also have a baby who she has always referred to (at least in front of us) as her grandchild.
I understand that she will probably feel more strongly about her biological grandchildren if / when they arrive but... a dog? And on a forum where she knew we would see it?
Are me and DH BU to annoyed about this?

Yanbu to be annoyed, but I think Ywbu to take it any further than just being mildly annoyed. Unless there’s more to the family dynamics she probably hasn’t even thought about it in the way you have, and just put it up as a nice comment. Can understand why you feel put off but I’d just try and laugh it off to yourself if you have an otherwise good relationship. Don’t let a silly phrase on Facebook ruin that, and try not to think it is a reflection on how sm sees your dc.

YABU. A nice comment about someone else’s dog hasn’t robbed your child of a grandmother. The dog and the child are not in competition.

Did not consider that she might not have been entirely serious?

I think she’s been a bit thoughtless, but without knowing your family circumstances it’s hard to know if she’s deliberately trying to stir things up.

I’d just comment on the photo as well and say that you can’t wait to meet your new niece/nephew for some puppy snuggles

Yanbu - a dog is not the same as a child, no matter what some crazy arse people think. It would have been a less irritating thing to hear if she didn't already have an actual grandchild! The bio/step aspect shouldn't come into it if she is referring to your child as her grandchild.
Maybe she just means first grandchild from their side? Some people are just a bit insensitive without meaning anything by it

I would be glad she was faffing about a dog and not interfering with my dc tbh!!

I couldnt help but respond. Inknow i shouldnt. Butnid be right there with, you consider one son’s dog more of a grandchild than your other son’s child? I guess it is at least good to know where we all stand...

It's insensitive and rather silly. Yes, you don't want a falling out over a stupid comment on fb, but I would be rankled by this. However, snort and move on, OP.

YABU + sense of humour failure.
Do you REALLY think she considers the dog her first grandchild?

I would comment, it would probably be the wrong thing to do, but I wouldn't be able to help myself.

' Is (insert child's name) not your grandchild then?'

I would comment 'Aah sweet - he looks just like his Granny'

It put's you in your place doesn't it?

Make sure you refer to her by her name in future. If she's being like that don't give her a grandmother title. I she asks why, you can refer to that comment.

I look forward to the dogs first day of school photos.. first nativity play photos.. first everything's... oh the fun she will have... oh hang on..

Although I like KurriKurri's comment!

She’s just not a jokey type of person. I’ve known her for 10 years and I’ve never heard her make a joke on social media or otherwise. I’d happily bet our house on it not being intended as a joke.
There is a lot of complicated family history and children from one side of family are treated entirely differently to step children and children from the second marriage. It’s salt in some very old wounds for DH I think.

yanbu
But how is she in all other respects, as a grandmother?

I'd laugh! She probably thought that because the comment was about a dog she couldn't possibly upset you!

Just read your last post. Hmmm. Ok hide from your social media feed and try to accept that this is how she may be in future if she has bio-grandchildren. You'll be prepared. Keep at arms reach so you're not hurt.

It wouldn't be upsetting if she's said 'second grandchild.' It's the 'first' that's hurtful and entirely thoughtless. Shows how she may really feel.

YANBU. At least your DH has no illusions about her.

It’s FB....she probably got the idea from friends.
Life’s too short to be upset by this.

I would just think, "Stupid woman," and move on . Life's too short to get upset over this kind of thing.

Is it because she’s exasperated she doesn’t yet have a gc from her ds?

What does she want to be called by your baby, or call herself with regard to the baby? Because next time she says 'Granny blah blah' I would be tempted to say 'oh, I thought dog's name was your first grandchild'.

X posted Old Witch!