AIBU re wrapping DDs birthday gifts for Christmas

[Dec13girl]

We threw dd a 3rd birthday party for 15 kids and she got a lot of toys, some of which I put upstairs in the attic (because I wanted to bring her out a new toy each week). Now Christmas is coming up and I am wondering AIBU to rewrap some of the toys she opened for her birthday to give them to her for Christmas? Will she remember unwrapping them the first time?

Personally I think that's really mean

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest

She's 3 and won't care or remember the gifts only the excitement of opening them

I would go for it if I were you.

Depends how good her memory is, my almost 3 year old would recognise them.

Unless you are really hard up - no, it’s mean.

Were these presents from other people? If so then yes it's mean.... i also would have thought a 3 year old would remember having received at least some of them. If you're worried about present overload I would reduce my Christmas gifts or concentrate on other things rather than toys ( books, experiences etc) but I wouldn't re-gift someone else's present.

I do this. I was caught out a couple of times. I told her I couldn't find the other one so asked Santa to send a new one, or I sent it to Santa to rewrap it in Xmas paper so you could open it again.

It’s a bit off if they were presents from other people so no I wouldn’t do that

Odds are she'll remember them and possibly who gave them to her. My 5yo can remember a lot about his 3rd birthday and can describe parts in detail now, even though he wasn't very articulate at the time. The Christmas after his 3rd birthday he'd have known the gifts were already his and who gave them to him, but he'd have struggled to query it and I might never have known I was rumbled. At least until he'd randomly ask about it years later.

It's a risky idea.

Ah here that is tight!! People can argue it's sensible and she won't know all they like but you took presents given to her by others, that is bad enough, to drop feed them over 15 weeks and then decide to save yourself money and use them for Christmas. You sound like a right joy sucker! Give your dd her presents FFS

It's not that I'm hard up, but I just can't stand the clutter! I'm trying to keep control of how many toys we have in the house. I guess it just seems economical to me!

I have no opinion about the rewrapping for Christmas but I think the putting her birthday presents in the attic because you wanted to bring one out each week is bizarrely over controlling. Sometimes, it's good for a child to be able to make their own choices about what they play with, not to have that controlled by you. If you feel like there's too much stuff out at once, a toy box or cupboard would be less drastic than the attic.

3 is too old to do this (though I don't have a problem with it in principle).

A friend's mum used to put half her Christmas presents away and then bring them out in the summer holidays for a second Christmas - could you do something like that?

As tight as a ducks arse.

That is just mean, OP! How would you like it if someone did that to you?

I don't think that storing toys in the attic is controlling Hedda . I always found that mine didn't know what to play with if there was too much, it was just all so overwhelming. Rotating the toys meant that there was excitement to see new things. It is very very common practice in many early learning centres.

I don't find it right or controlling, but both my DC at 3 years old wouldn't have been backward in pointing out they'd already got this for their birthday...

My DC would recognise it all.

(And at age 3 they would've already asked me where the gifts had gone to if they couldn't find the toys after unwrapping on their birthday!)

I think Hedda makes a good point and I’d add that had you left them available for dd you would by now have established which ones were a hit and the ones that weren’t could have been sent off to the charity shop.

I get what you mean about clutter but you deal with that by having a good sort out once or twice a year and passing toys on to a charity shop or anyone you know who’d appreciate them.

The only way I’d think what you’re suggesting was ok would be if money was an issue and you genuinely couldn’t afford gifts. Otherwise it seems a bit tight and almost as though it’s an opportunity to pull the wool over her eyes because she’s possibly too young to realise.

Economical (in this case) = Scrooge.

Don't think it will work, but you could try it!

DD's 3rd birthday in May. I did the same as you (with family presents only), and brought some of them again re-wrapped as Christmas presents. First one open was a doll. She immediately turned to her cousin and said "I've got this one already. You may have this." And proceeded to do this with each of the hold backs.

I just think it’s setting a poor example as an adult. It’s lying really. Give a few bits and pieces for Christmas and give experiences if there are too many toys. Get a toy box. Invite less children to the party. 15 for a 3 year old? Too many.

Don't invite 15 people to a party if you don't want 15 gifts.

My DC would have noticed this at 3 and I would be pissed off at you passing off my gift as yours or Santas. My DD has her birthday near Christmas and I have always resolved not to make her feel she's been cheated out of her birthday. Since you're not strapped, there's really no excuse.

My DD is slightly younger and would know if she had already been given an item, so I don't think you can pull this off dishonestly. But there's nothing wrong with being upfront and offering to wrap them again so there are extra things to unwrap at Christmas. Your child won't even know that's not normal.

I'm going to go against the grain and say YANBU

Buying new stuff just for the sake of buying new things because it's "mean" to rewrap things your daughter got previously is a stupid principle IMHO. Let's say, for example, that for her birthday, the OP's DD got 30 new toys, 15 of which she has never played with as they were the birthday presents that were put away. DD could then get another 10 presents for Christmas from relatives (grandparents/aunts and uncles etc) which means she has 25 more toys before her parents buy anything ... why buy more presents when you could re-purpose those 15 stored toys so that DD gets 15 presents "from Santa" for Christmas, but the overall toy count has remained the same?

It would be one thing if they had been toys that had been sitting around in the playroom/her bedroom and she just hadn't got round to playing with them because of all the other toys from her birthday, but if you put some of the toys away straight after her birthday and she hasn't seen them since, odds on she might remember one or two of them from her birthday but not all of them.

I used to have a huge issue with clutter and the sheer amount of toys DD (now 9) used to get from family for birthdays/Christmas. Our issue mainly stemmed from the fact we lived abroad and only got to come home for a couple of weeks in summer (when DD's birthday is) and Christmas so birthdays and Christmases were the main times family bought her things and spoiled her. With other children in the family, they would see them more regularly and so would give little treats all throughout the year, whereas they only saw DD a couple of times in the year so would effectively "save up" the treats and then give them all at once. Also I think some people felt that they had to compensate for the lack of personal time with DD by way of giving gifts as tokens of love instead of time.

It was overwhelming for me as an adult, never mind toddler DD so I used to do a similar thing to you OP - when we went back home after a visit to our families, we'd pack some things in our cases for DD to play with immediately and have as soon as we got home, and everything else we would parcel up and ship back to our house. The parcels could sometimes take a few weeks to arrive so when it did, instead of giving everything to DD straight away I would ration it out and introduce a couple of toys here and there; if anything wore out/broke then I'd replace it from something in storage and if there were still lots of things in storage at her next birthday/Christmas then we'd wrap a few back up and let her open them again.