AIBU re wrapping DDs birthday gifts for Christmas

[Dec13girl]

We threw dd a 3rd birthday party for 15 kids and she got a lot of toys, some of which I put upstairs in the attic (because I wanted to bring her out a new toy each week). Now Christmas is coming up and I am wondering AIBU to rewrap some of the toys she opened for her birthday to give them to her for Christmas? Will she remember unwrapping them the first time?

Of course it's not mean. If you can get away with it of course you should.

In terms of guilt, please don't have any.

'Stuff' for accumulations sake is not something you need to teach your child - evidenced by the hysteria coming from many posters - unable to understand why present buying in the first instance is not a prerequisite - and that any present is a privilege not a right.

Materialism is so ingrained in our society and in our buying habits. Most people don't even recognise that it is such a bad lesson to pass on, and that the normalisation of this has been crafted by marketers over time, as well as any guilt in not participating.

But, most importantly, our oceans really don't need anymore shit.

Be tight, it's the SMARTEST thing, all avenues considered, to do!

Think of the real lesson and gift you can give your daughter.

Some of these responses are absolutely ridiculous.

People really need to start thinking about their impact on society and the lessons they really pass on to their children.

We all need to check in and with ourselves and question the guilt or excitement we feel when buying. It's not without consequences.

Absolutlely nothing wrong at all. If you think you can get away with it put one or two in her stocking. If she spots it you can spin a ‘cheeky santa/elves regifting stuff’ type story. Or just give some of the stuff to a local charity. Take a look at the tat in the shops and think of the landfill it will take up afterwards. Use the tat you already have.

At 3 my child was still getting second hand gifts. Save your money for the later years.

Cross post with the sentiment WhatImMissing!

It's not so much the rewrapping for me that you said 'I wanted to bring out a gift each week' and that obviously hasn't happened. Why not bring them all out again, get your DD to pick a couple she really likes and give the others to a kids' Christmas toy appeal? That way you're clearing some of the clutter too. It just strikes me that you're going to end up back in the same position you were unhappy with in the first place.

I think that's fine. Honestly, people buy you too much stuff. I hate it. We tell people all the time please not to bring gifts or to give a small bit of money for savings or god, give it to charity or something instead. I know people mean well/feel pressured to not come empty handed, but it's too much stuff. The alternative is just taking it to a charity shop as there is no more room. So I think it's a lovely way to cut down on waste and excess, as long as she doesn't remember.

If you've asked here then you know the answer already.

Sorry, but it sounds like you planned it that way from the beginning. Why wasn't the gift of '1 out a week' followed through with? You may be taking advantage of her poor memory (for all we know).

If you're so obsessed with wanting no clutter, then maybe a party wasn't the best idea. It gets worse as they get older, so you may want to prepare for that now.

In no way is this fair on the your Daughter, and on the people that bothered to buy her things!

I think its fine for a 3 year old. Mine wouldnt have remembered.

I think this is bizarre. Why didn’t you let her just play wth her 15 birthday toys in the first place? Some people are so controlling about “clutter”.. that clutter actually makes many kids happy. There’s a reason they love toys, not least that they aid development

My nearly 4 yo remembers which gifts she got when she was 2. YABU

Mean and dishonest towards your DD.

If you have an issue with clutter, don't make Christmas about presents giving. Establish alternative family traditions that she can look forward to - baking and decorating a gingerbread house, a walk in the forest, a family DVD under the tree to watch together...

But don't take away other people's gifts to her or pass them off as your own. The point about her being overwhelmed is fair, but you could deal with it better by letting her open them first, maybe over a number of days, and then rotating the toys (after you've explained what you propose to do and why).

I have often taken gifts away from my children because they get so many. When opened up at once, they end up disregarding all but two or three. I feel it encourages an almost spoilt and entitled mindset.

A couple of times a year, you're going to get shit loads of stuff, and naturally you wont enjoy it all equally, so lets just disregard the bits you don't like as much shall we

To combat this I either re gift or bring them out bit by bit.

Dishonest or controlling are ridiculous things to accuse the OP of being.

In honesty, I think this is the more conscious, ethical, better parenting of the two.

A 3 year old is really going to consider this dishonest, or this will teach then a negative lesson?

Get a fucking grip!

Re-wrap them up and don't look back....

You'll be giving your daughter more in not adding yet more crap to landfill, the environmental effects of which she'll feel way more than any of us.

And, if someone did this with a present that I had gifted, I honestly couldn't give a flying fuck!

I would likely congratulate you for not being a twat and feeling guilt over something that is such a non issue.

I would also feel that more appreciation went into the gift as you didn't just dump it to compete among the scrap heap of 15 other things received the same day, of which only 1 or 2 will win.

Definitely go for it. Also re-gift what she doesn't need.

@WhatAmIMissing "I have often taken gifts away from my children because they get so many. When opened up at once, they end up disregarding all but two or three. I feel it encourages an almost spoilt and entitled mindset. " Couldn't agree more!

I think it would be acceptable to give those things as presents to other kids just make sure you don't regift back to the original giver and then use the money saved on buying those presents, on an experience or more expensive/smaller item for your child - that's just exchanging a present. I don't think I could morally justify passing off other peoples presents as my own unless I really couldn't afford anything myself

I don't think a child getting lots of presents for special occasions such as birthdays or christmas spoils them. What would spoil them is getting lots of presents every week for no reason whatsoever unless they know they are the original birthday presents - even if the total amount of presents is the same.
I'd rather let my child have all their presents at once and then you can charity shop the less popular ones.

My mil would do it....

I don’t see the point get her what you were going to get her for Christmas and feck the size of the pile my wee boy is getting 3 pressies and a few odds and sods he will be 2 1/2 and it’s now getting to the point we have bought him a lot of stuff and we are running out of room. I really don’t see the point of buying for the sake of it.

I also don’t like the idea of claiming someone else’s gift as yours/Santa’s seems a bit mean spirited to the gifter .

Butterymuffin and MrsS how do you know when the party was? How do you know the OP hasn't followed through with her original plan? If the party was within the last few months there could still be some presents left over.

I think it's entirely upto you OP! If she's never played with them she'd probably be really excited to open them and actually get to play with them! You're not mean at all xx

I sympathise OP from the perspective of having a birthday this close to Christmas as I have the same, but please don't do this!

Your child will definitely remember at this age and I think she will find it very confusing and disorientating. You're trying to trick her which I don't think does her belief in her parents any favours.

As pp said how would you feel if someone did this to you? It's no different, she'll know it's happened but not be able to articulate what's happened.

Rotating toys is a completely different concept and worth doing if you have that many toys.

Given that when my 3 and two year old were presented with trikes, each, from their adored grandparents, and they then spent most of the day playing in and with, the boxes the trikes came in, I can't see for one second that you would have any problem! Have a lovely christmas! xx

Seems a bit tight. Just don't buy anymore toys is the obvious answer. Buy clothes she needs!

Great idea!! Might try it myself

My 3 year old would 100% remember opening them before! My 2.4 year old would too.

Nrtft, but recognised the title. Did you know this is in the Mirror online OP. You're famous