AIBU re wrapping DDs birthday gifts for Christmas

[Dec13girl]

We threw dd a 3rd birthday party for 15 kids and she got a lot of toys, some of which I put upstairs in the attic (because I wanted to bring her out a new toy each week). Now Christmas is coming up and I am wondering AIBU to rewrap some of the toys she opened for her birthday to give them to her for Christmas? Will she remember unwrapping them the first time?

Crikey sorry typos, coffee time here

Give them to a Christmas charity appeal. If your dd has plenty of things and hasn't even noticed the missing birthday presents then give them away. Buy her a few things off Santa .

There ought not to be one rule of fairness for adults and another for children. The presents are your daughter's and she should have them for her birthday as they were gifted to her.

I think it's mean too.

Would you want others to take things you already own and wrap them for your birthday or Christmas?

A three year old doesn't need a birthday party so just don't have one and the issue of gifts is solved.

Like a pp, my daughter would recognize them. Mind you she came out like a little wize old lady.

It’s fine, I am doing it with my two. They don’t need more stuff but like unwrapping.

No, they are not from you.

It's insulting to the people who gave her the presents the first time - you shouldn't do it.

Why does she need extra presents to unwrap at Christmas? Isn't that just perpetuating the problem?

At 3 mine would have recognised them. Also if she was that bothered by them and liked the toy then she would be asking where they are, so if they weren't that great in the first place then why bother giving them again.

My DD (age 3) would remember. She still remembers what she got for Christmas last year, let alone her birthday!
I also would be pissed off if I found a gift I had given another child for her birthday was re-gifted to her for Christmas.
I wouldn't hide my DD's toys from her either though... All toys are in toy boxes, but available at all times.

My inlaws did this with our birthday present we had to smile and say that it was a lovely toy santa brought them they also gave them a tryke we had passed on the Christmas before. It is increadibly tight and odd you don't have to get her a lot of toys for Christmas but with children you are going to have some clutter.

I don't think constantly sending 'old' toys (which probably haven't been played with very much) to charity is a great solution. It doesn't deal with the constant saturation of material goods, the expectation of more and more stuff, and often the under appreciation of what they do have.

Giving away new stuff that hasn't been played with will be very upsetting to some givers. Even saying 'no gifts' doesn't seem to work. If you do return to the thread OP, I suggest you cut right back on what you buy for your child for Christmas. If there are no other children present and you haven't created an expectation of lots of presents, this will probably be fine. You can continue bringing out the other gifts gradually. I think one a week is too often but the frequency for your child is your decision.

Parties are fun though, presents or no presents. Don't stop having the odd party because of this.

How will she ‘write’ her thank you notes if she doesn’t open the presents?

It’s a bit mean and I agree just buy her fewer toys at Christmas. Don’t set up an expectation of hundreds of pounds of assorted plastic tat.

15? My kid had 50 guests at her last party - (9 months ago) the party was her present as she wanted an extravaganza, although I'm not quite sure how we ended up with quite so many guests! so I still have a large pile of stuff in the cupboard but she's unwrapped it all. When she was younger (2) I have kept presents back from Christmas/birthday but not ones she has unwrapped already as she'd remember.

I still withhold presents that I don't want them to get. I re gift or give to school pta OR yes I will re wrap at Christmas or birthday. When a child gets 20 gifts they don't look play or appreciate them. getting 1 or 2 and having time to enjoy it is far better imo.

I think at 3 she’ll remember opening them the first time.

What this thread illustrates is that a three year old just doesn’t need that much stuff. When mine were little we didn’t buy them much at all for Christmas because they got so much from everyone else. Grandparents and other family invariably asked what they wanted so they always got whatever was on their wish list - anything else was just surplus. We had a similar situation to the OP when we had a joint birthday party and were swamped with gifts - it was actually a very early lesson to both of them that it is possible to have too many presents. I re-gifted some after carefully noting what came from who. I don’t think you should rewrap the gifts for Christmas - your dd will get a load more stuff anyway from family and friends. As she starts to get more and more excited with Christmas approaching I would get some of the stuff down from the attic so she can play with it or let her help you decide what you could give to charity.

I'm a bit mystified about why it's alright for DD to have masses of presents at Christmas but not at her birthday? Why don't you put/give away some of her old toys and let her have full access to the new ones. YABU OP!

If you don't want more clutter then don't buy her more toys. Our dds have more than enough and family are buying the few new toys they want, so we are buying them a family pass to somewhere they like. No extra clutter and we'll have some great days out together.
My dd2 is almost 3 and she would know.

I think most 3 year olds would definately remember. 3 is a great age for Father Christmas, really magical. I would be worried about spoiling it a little bit.

If you don't want clutter, can you not just buy less for Christmas.

I doubt she'd remember all th presents in the excitement of the party, especially if you've squirrelled them away. Even older children struggle to remember what they got for birthdays/Xmas very soon afterwards. I've lost count of the number of times I've heard friends/relatives ask "What did you get for your birthday?" Only to be told something like "Errr, a watch, some books, a game......err, I can't remember." when they've had dozens of presents! Bloody annoying it is too, if you've spent ages choosing them, wrapping them, not to mention the cost!

I get where you're coming from on the clutter too. You want her to have the fun of opening stuff but not clutter in every corner of the house. (It only gets worse by the way!) I don't think you are being mean or unreasonable. Go, for it, I'd say!

What if, after Christmas, someone sees her playing with the toy they gave her for her birthday, and your daughter tells them it came from Santa?

So you’re going to claim gifts bought by other people are ftom you?

A baby maybe but a 3yr old will remember. Mine all would have at that age, 3 yr olds remember amazing stuff.