AIBU re wrapping DDs birthday gifts for Christmas

[Dec13girl]

We threw dd a 3rd birthday party for 15 kids and she got a lot of toys, some of which I put upstairs in the attic (because I wanted to bring her out a new toy each week). Now Christmas is coming up and I am wondering AIBU to rewrap some of the toys she opened for her birthday to give them to her for Christmas? Will she remember unwrapping them the first time?

I would think a 3 year old would remember gifts she has already opened. It seems an odd thing to do.

I think it’s an appalling idea.

She'll recognise them for a start.

If you don’t want more toys, fine, buy just a few things for Christmas.
But don’t do this, it’s awful.

At three I would. Probably the last time you’d get away with it! That said, my dd had a big 5th birthday and got duplicates given for some craft stuff. I took away the duplicates (maybe two gifts) and put them away somewhere else thinking that she can have them when she’s finished with the other ones, but she didn’t really enjoy the particular craft so I have actually wrapped them as gifts for other her friends (🙈). I just think it’s recycling!
As for regifting for Christmas, you are probably not surprised to hear that I have done that too. Why the hell not?? 😂

If you don't want more clutter then get her an experience type gift for Christmas or an outside toy? Ask others to do the same.

We had to put most of DS Christmas toys in the loft immediately afterwards as we were selling the house but there's no way I'd have then passed them off as birthday presents later in the year. He got them all back as soon as we moved.

The idea of 'recycling' presents on the surface doesn't seem a big deal to me.
Then I think of how you're pretty much using other people to provide your DD's christmas presents. That seems a bit off. To give the presents, take them off your child and then re-present under different circumstances. Yeah, not so much. Not to mention that people chose and gave those presents to your child and probably had no idea she wouldn't even get to play with them. Why bother having a party really, or accepting gifts under such dodgy circumstances

She may remember unwrapping some of the gifts the first time around. It depends how long the gifts were around before you took them away. I don't think it matters at all. They will still be new and exciting to her as she will now get to really interact and play with them. It may be a problem for you if you are actively building up Father Christmas fantasies but not if Father Christmas is just a nice story in the background and you aren't particularly bothered if she doesn't literally believe it.

I think it's fine as long as the gifts aren't presented as being from you. They are still presents from the original givers. Three year-olds don't do the mental calculations that some older children and adults do to determine whether 'enough' has been spent on them, whether the gifts are good enough etc. They are just happy to have new gifts whoever they are from.

I think for many British people Christmas especially (but birthdays too) is a bit of a religion, and many people have very strong views on how religion should be practiced, both by themselves and others. People forget that there is absolutely no requirement to buy any child a Christmas present. People who buy Christmas presents are not superior in any way to people who don't. They are not more loving, more caring or better parents. They are just people who conform to traditions or people who tend to show love with material things.

So if you don't buy your child a gift or only a small gift, perhaps because your priorities lie elsewhere (experiences, education, gifts at other times) that's not a problem OP. It doesn't make you a bad person or a bad parent. However bear in mind other people have really strong and intractable views about this. If any of those gifts were given by people who are likely to find out that they have made a reappearance at Christmas, you may find, as this thread demonstrates, that they are very unhappy with the situation.

Your anytging like me your probably drowning in toys. I think it's a sign of how lucky we are in the western world and huge are consumer consuption is. I now personally I do worry about the next influx of toys come birthday/Christmas. I don't think your being unreasonable. We have been programmed to feel guilty if we don't spend money on presents that our kids don't need. Sometime I see people buying way more presents than their kids could ever play with (think mountains under the tree). Having said that at 3 I think this is the last year you'll get away with that.

Yes it’s mean. If you don’t want her getting more tous then just don’t buy anymore. Get her some clothes or something useful.

I can see where you're coming from in a logical sense but those parents who bought the gifts for your daughter didn't do it to subsidise your Christmas. I would be very if I knew that money I had spent on a birthday party my child had been invited to was being used to prop up up someone else's Christmas.

I always make an effort to let my kids go to parties even if sometimes I have been left short in order to buy a gift for them. If it's towards the end of the month it's a real stretch for us to find that extra few quid but we always do while something else we need has to wait. The thought of it ending up under your Christmas tree makes me balk.

I think she’ll remember, my 3 year old would. If you have too much clutter (and we certainly do!) then why not get rid of some of her older toys instead?

I think this would only have worked if you had hidden them away before she actually opened them.

I think it's pretty mean because if she has opened them once already you will be denying her the excitement.She will remember if she's opened them once already, mine at three had incredible memories for detail.
It would have been better to have let her have all fifteen presents at the time and skimmed off the surplus when you saw which ones she loved or not.
I'd be peeved as well if I had bought your dd a birthday present that you had rewrapped as a Christmas gift from yourself.

Sorry I wouldn’t do that. Plus my 3yr old has a RIDICULOUS memory and would remember that he’s already opened it before

I squirrel presents like this away and use as rewards when Dds marble jar is full. She is 3. Not sure if I'll be able to fo it much longer....

A three year old would remember.

There's a saying, sometimes quoted in teaching:
"What I hear, I forget.
What I see, I remember.
What I do, I understand."

I remember loads of things I saw from when I was 3 years old. Many people including children have very visual memories: it's easy to remember something you saw, less easy to remember something you heard. Your 3yo may easily remember seeing the same present appearing in her hands, even if the wrapping paper is different.

Can you clarify if these are the presents other people gave her?

Unbelievable. You are trying to pass on other people's presents as your own. Tight as they come.

Unwrapping things that are already hers seem very scrooge

"We threw dd a 3rd birthday party for 15 kids and she got a lot of toys"

Yes, they are presents that other people bought for their children to give to OP's child at her party.

Just buy less for Christmas and stop being so uptight about the clutter. She’s 3!

I’ve done this when we over bought ds and were struggling for his birthday but I would never pass other people’s presents that’s just not right

Also, if you bring down a new toy on a weekly basis what do you tell her it's for? I would worry that she would be expecting gifts every week rather than for a reason such as a birthday.

I don't think it's mean, particularly - I would make all the re-wrapped gifts from Santa though - but I would worry that my DC would recognise them as gifts they'd had before.
And they would be disappointed by that.

For that reason, I wouldn't do it, although I do understand your need to reduce "stuff" and not overload your child.

Yes o thought so Pictish but there's a bit of me clinging to thechipe that no one would be as deceitful as trying to pass of birthday presents from another child as Christmas presents!

If they were parental birthday gifts and they thought ok I'm not giving them as there is so much from other people it would be diffferent - still tight AF but different.