The weird things that non parents say...

[Wiggles9408]

Just a general one, no malice intended but what are your experiences of the things that people without children have said to you in regards to parenting?

My examples are as follows (all in one day): dd is 6mo I went into work for a KIT day and a few of my colleagues that don’t have children (in amongst genuine lovely questions about dd) said the following ‘Babies seem easy to me now I’ve got a rabbit..’ and ‘so what’s it like?’ My answer ‘harder than I’d imagined’ the response ‘oh really? I just imagined you watching Disney films all day with a baby!’
And my favourite one EVER ‘I’d love to be getting paid to do nothing all day but watch Jeremy Kyle!’
I know they probably weren’t meant to come across so ummmm belittling but in my head I did have a few brash come backs but didn’t say anything just laughed it off. so anyone else had comments made that left them a little

Friend said to me 'well you didn't actually give birth so it can't have been that bad' (as though that was the only painful part) - this was after a 36 hour (back to back) labour followed be emcs. I think I just looked at her open mouthed!

I think you’re pretty wierd for describing child-free and childless people as ‘non’ anything.

The dog owners thing pisses me right off. Having grown up with dogs and being a parent myself, I know that a “fur baby”’isn’t the same as having an actual baby.
SIL tells me all the time she’s a full time “mum” to her fur baby and works full time as well... Forgetting that she leaves it unattended for 9 hours of the day

"You didn't, like, really give birth though!"

After my section

On the Thursday I left before meeting adopted DS aged 8 months on the Friday, a colleague looked quite puzzled when I said I wouldn’t be back to work on Monday as ‘it’s not like you’ve given birth or anything’.

I have to add that I’m so shocked people would make comments about c sections not being a “proper” birth.

Fucking hell!!! I’m in awe of the mums who still have to care for their newborns after MAJOR abdominal surgery!!!!!

hoppinggreen, that made me laugh! goes to show the difference between normal and very wealthy eh?
I am sure that i used to come out with some naive things prior to having children myself ( not that bad though) but once you have them, you then realise that its not like the adverts at all and you have to adjust to a whole different life. Some people are just dim too of course.
Plus also, many years ago, people were brought up with family and cousins around them and bigger families, so probably had a bit more understanding of what it was like as well, more so than they will nowadays.

Why are we pitting parents (actually, mums, let's face it) against non parents again? It's boring. I don't give much of a shit what non parents say, I just try not to sound condescending when I talk about DD as every experience I different.

I popped into work the other day and I bumped into a v senior colleague who stopped and asked how I was. She then went on to say she knew how she I felt because they’d just got a new puppy

Takemedown I completely agree. It’s boring. Yes some of the comments on here are atrocious but some are completely innocuous. A boss asking what you’re doing for the rest of the day for example.

By the way I’ve had some stupid things said to me about not having children.

" has your dry cleaning bill gone up awfully?"

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I think that one wins the thread, I just nearly choked on my breakfast

I think the people comparing pets to babies are doing it to join in conversation, and pets are the closest frame of reference to caring for a small child.

Yes, exactly. People seem affronted that anyone would 'compare my baby to a dog!' - but do you not see how rude it is to have a lengthy conversation in which you expect the person without children to contribute absolutely nothing? They're saying it because it's the only way to turn your monologue into a conversation!

It’s always the tiredness competition. You know what, I suffer from crippling insomnia. I average about 4 hours a night and then have a 10 hour work day. So yes I’m fucking tired too.

Should switch it round really - "the weird things that some parents say..."

"I'm soooooo tired" (yeah... aren't we all)

Like "can't come out I have a baby", (I have 2, life goes on)

"my baby needs to feed every 3 hours, nap every 5 hours, poop every 4 hours, have enrichment time every interleaved hour and a half... I don't have any time left", (really, why on earth did you choose to set your life up like that)

(Yeah, I know, I'll get my coat... I am lucky.)

Lordy...why oh why do threads that were started light heartedly always seem to descend into arguments about who is more offended now?
It is is quite funny when people with no kids say things that are utterly ridiculous to those who have had them,and are thus in a position to know how silly they are being. Not all childless people do it. Not all with child people are narcissistic, or self absorbed. With child people were once childless and probably thought the same dumb things themselves once.You don’t have to have kids to be tired, but kids are indeed tiring. Why all the agg?

That said, I’m a person with two kids (at one stage two under two) and two dogs, and I genuinely DO find the dogs more stressful,tiring and more work than the babies were...so perhaps all the ‘my cat is as hard work as your baby’ people have a point (unless it’s just that my dogs act more dick heads than normal dogs-which may also be be case)

Without children being busy is often true but it's self inflicted and self controlled. Having children being busy is totally out of control and not one thing after the next.

I didn't want kids so I didn't have any.

I know it's not always that simple but the implication here does seem to be that having kids is just "inflicted" on people who have no control over it, and it seems impossible that that's the case all the time.

Childless people wading in to get upset over nothing as usual.

Just because the op started the thread with “no malice intended” doesn’t mean she has carte blanche to offend everyone. Way if all the comments on here started with “no malice intended...”. Does that make it ok?

I’m childfree anna and you’re fucking rude. I hope you’re teaching your kids better manners.

Your collegues sound like idiots! Some people just are... Its the same stupid intrusive comments as some people with kids say to people without, for example 'when are you having kids', 'tick toc' etc... when they dont know the pain a childless person might be going through with pregnacy loss and fertility issues. Some people are just rubbish regardless of if they are parents or not 😂

annawoolfworries You sound like such a lovely person 😂

I'm childfree too, i.e. didn't want kids. Childless people, on the other hand - those who would like kids but for whatever reason can't have them - have something to be upset about, surely?

Skarossinkplunger it wasnt intended to offend anyone or have any malice. Crikey I just thought the comments that were made to me could either be a bit offending or laughable and I chose laughable and wondered if anyone else had similar experiences that at the time left them a bit confused but they look back and laugh at how unrealistic the comment was. Why this had turned into a ridiculous argument I’ll never know because yes everyone gets tired, yes everyone struggles but in my life I’ve never said to someone with a chronic illness or that’s caring for I’ll family or even effing pets ‘at least you get to watch Jeremy Kyle all day’. If you don’t like the thread don’t post simple as.

Not weird things but some of my childless friends take it upon themselves to tell my DC off. My DC are very well behaved and we have certain rules in our family e.g. most desserts and chips are for when we eat out. I've had them say things like, I think you have had enough now or, you didn't finish your veg so you can't have dessert and I am like

It's not their place to parent my DC.

I’m so sorry I spoiled everyone’s fun laughing at the expense of “non parents”