The weird things that non parents say...

[Wiggles9408]

Just a general one, no malice intended but what are your experiences of the things that people without children have said to you in regards to parenting?

My examples are as follows (all in one day): dd is 6mo I went into work for a KIT day and a few of my colleagues that don’t have children (in amongst genuine lovely questions about dd) said the following ‘Babies seem easy to me now I’ve got a rabbit..’ and ‘so what’s it like?’ My answer ‘harder than I’d imagined’ the response ‘oh really? I just imagined you watching Disney films all day with a baby!’
And my favourite one EVER ‘I’d love to be getting paid to do nothing all day but watch Jeremy Kyle!’
I know they probably weren’t meant to come across so ummmm belittling but in my head I did have a few brash come backs but didn’t say anything just laughed it off. so anyone else had comments made that left them a little

My hairdresser continually compared my son to her kitten (“oh yeah, it’s really rough when they are new. With my kitten....” in response to my stories of a newborn that she had asked for - I didn’t volunteer the information) which amused me. Buuut I was once a childless person too and I distinctly remember saying some ridiculous things to and about my friends with kids before I had my own (especially telling my mate that her five week old had her tied up in knots and if she didn’t get her in the cot soon, she’d never get on with things. What a twat I was!) I also said and did some ridiculous things with my pfb that I mocked when number two came along.

I think it’s difficult to judge your experience against anything that you haven’t done. For example, I have no idea what it’s like to have a chronic illness or care for a terminally ill adult so how could I compare it to my own experience of having a baby?

Yeah sorry, I got told on here that my experience of caring for a terminally ill adult was nowhere as hard as caring for a child. Still annoyed at that, but didn't mean to derail.

I don't doubt that brasty- chronic pain sounds terrifyingly awful

brasty how awful that someone said that. I work as a carer and it's hard enough as you do become close to people. I can't imagine how much harder it is for a loved one and admire those who do it. Babies bring so much joy with them so the two aren't comparable in the slightest.

Thanks @LondonGirl83 sorry I don’t know why I just went on about the tiredness thing

I have no kids, looked after my step sisters lad a few times when he was a tiny baby and was like, woah! Crazy! And when he was a toddler.

Def sticking with cats

It's quite shocking to find out that some of the other women at mother and baby group have brains! This was 10 years ago now, but I happened to mention that my then teenage DS1 had cystic fibrosis, one of the other women said, "oh, I wrote my thesis for my PhD on that." Up until then we'd only talked about nappies and teething.

I’m also genuinely interested in why people who are happily child free are on mumsnet?

For the feminism & the running threads, mainly.

'I’m also genuinely interested in why people who are happily child free are on mumsnet?'

🙄

Only1scoop Because mumsnet has (thankfully) lots of threads about interesting things that don't involve the boring subject of children...

Sheila2017, I’m a mum myself and I get bored of parenting threads, too, sometimes and enjoy discussing other things. There are some great threads on mumsnet.

Any thread that has 'no malice intended' in the opening sentence makes me

@Wiggles9408, how about you calm down and actually read what I wrote properly! I said to Ariadne that it would be shit-stirring to start an opposing thread just for goady reasons. No reason to jump on me, unless you had a name-change fail.

Quite

i certainly don't look at much ParentIng stuff

Oh another one - said while I was 20 weeks pregnant - Went into excruciating detail of her labours and births. The pains, the tears, the way they blundered up her stitches and how she's still not right down there. From how she puked and shat her way through labour -Everything. Not a single horrific detail omitted.

Even when I'd politely said at the outset that I didn't want to hear any birth stories, and even when her colleague butted in to tell her to shut up because it was sounding like a horror story.

Just what you want to hear when at your OH's office Christmas party and cornered.

I don't have children and I wouldn't dream of saying anything like that to parents.

OTOH I have had from parents graphic and unpleasant descriptions of labour/breastfeeding, as well as many rude comments about how I really ought to have children for whatever reason.

Some people are just arseholes.

"Just shut the door and let them cry it out" - when you are dealing with a colicky baby. Yeah like its really that easy.......grrrrrrr!

My friend said she might have a baby just so she could get a year off work.

I have children and pets. The sleep deprivation from children is infinitely worse, however at least they don't bite you because you fell asleep and stopped fussing. Kids generally grow out of keeping you up when they're 15 1/2 . Cat hasn't

The weirdness of these comments, has absolutely nothing on the smugness and patronising tone of some the parents relating them

Because mumsnet has (thankfully) lots of threads about interesting things that don't involve the boring subject of children...

I am neither a mother or a pet owner but still managed not to say anything so stupid to a parent! I really don't know how you all cope!

A childless friend asked me about my new job- I've been at home with my children for 12 years but have kept up freelancing work- after I descrobed what it involves (I really enjoy it, lots of responsibility and challenges- we are in a similar line of work), he said 'I bet you wonder what you did with your time before!', to which I responded 'No, I wonder what people without family commitments do when they get home from work.' I think he asked for it.

Ahhh! WomblingThree I’m so sorry! I completely read it wrong and I apologise for that!

And user I said no malice because I’m not relating their comments form a bad place, I didn’t start a AIBU thread saying ‘should I be pissed at stupid comments made by childless collegeus’ because I think they’re funny so in my relaying and talking about them it’s not from a place of anger or annoyance it was because it made me chuckle and also wish that the comments were true... I wish baby poo was little hard nuggets that can be scooped up or that I could be paid to watch Jeremy Kyle or even that my dd would sit with me for more than five minutes without blowing raspberries and watch a Disney film with me. :)

• relaying not relating
• from not form

I don’t have kids and think your co-workers problem is being stupid, not being non-parents
Exactly. And this distinction should be made.