The weird things that non parents say...

[Wiggles9408]

Just a general one, no malice intended but what are your experiences of the things that people without children have said to you in regards to parenting?

My examples are as follows (all in one day): dd is 6mo I went into work for a KIT day and a few of my colleagues that don’t have children (in amongst genuine lovely questions about dd) said the following ‘Babies seem easy to me now I’ve got a rabbit..’ and ‘so what’s it like?’ My answer ‘harder than I’d imagined’ the response ‘oh really? I just imagined you watching Disney films all day with a baby!’
And my favourite one EVER ‘I’d love to be getting paid to do nothing all day but watch Jeremy Kyle!’
I know they probably weren’t meant to come across so ummmm belittling but in my head I did have a few brash come backs but didn’t say anything just laughed it off. so anyone else had comments made that left them a little

Initially my DD would sleep two- three hours and then be awake for an hour to 90min day or night which is normal. So when she'd wake up at night I didn't fight it and try to put her straight back down as she wasn't tired. I'd feed her and cuddle her in dim light quietly while reading my phone until she was ready for her next sleep cycle! Saved both of us a lot of tears

As she got older she slept longer and longer and was awake for shorter periods at night until she started going for 8 hours straight which felt like a miracle when it finally happened. I do think I was lucky though as she is generally a good sleeper!

jessica. Kids do shit in the bath 😂

And it depends how easy your baby is. One friend had the type of baby who slept long hours and was remarkably easy. She used to phone me bored because she had nothing to do except watch daytime TV. I was always a bit jealous.

That was my sister!

Jessica meant to add sorry about your condition though. Sounds horrendous

On RTFT, I think I may have to start a thread on the things parents say to non parents

@JessicaEccles, my baby shat on me in the bath. Bet your cat doesn’t do that 😜.

Same here wombling! I screamed ...

@Aridane, what’s the point though. People without children are not a homogeneous lump. People who want them but haven’t got them are going to react very differently to people who don’t want them. It’s just shit-stirring to start a thread.

@HelenaDove why are you so bitter? Not every working parent expects every working non-parent to cover their shifts. If you don’t like it, just say no. Workplace bullying should be reported. Why are you pre-empting a situation or thread that hasn’t even happened yet?

Aderyn the one time I picked DD up from school wearing makeup she cried because I didn't "look like Mummy". She was 8.

Hahahahaha at anyone who thinks having dogs or cats or demanding jobs is anything like having babies

really, it's not.

I reckon my job might be just as difficult as a baby. I don't have any kids so I can't be sure - but then you've never had my job so you can't be sure about your statement either can you

The mums on here claiming a monopoly on exhaustion are every bit as bad as the OP's co-workers imo for sheer lack of empathy.

Wombling i dont work. Im a full time carer for my disabled DH We are a state pension household. Go back and read my post again. I said some not all.

NAPALT!
And there are threads about it on here in the run up to Xmas.

Helena Dove

What a true statement

Manchester I'd have laughed mirthlessly.

WomblingThree I’m not shit stirring I just found the comments funny, they don’t have children and they thought that’s what life would be like and before having my dd I believed it would be easier than it is so that’s why I found the comments funny, initially I was a little offended but then I thought ‘well they haven’t been through it so they don’t know any better’ but that’s not to say it’s still not funny to share our experiences as parents of the stuff we’ve heard over the years that’s slightly unrealistic, like my examples and plenty of others. Just calm it down it’s not a personal attack on anyone. Yeeesssh.

I tend to just leave my friends to it with their kids as I don't find I have anything to talk about. But I do find it funny to annoy one of them that likes to tell me it's the hardest thing ever to do and can be quite patronising about it.

For example they had a young child recently and I have a horse. They would tell me that I don't know how difficult it is doing nappy changes etc. I was like 'really does your child weigh 650kg? No? Try wiping the back side of my horse while he's trying to kick you and I'll agree the baby is harder if you manage'. Sadly you do actually have to do that with a horse. At least with a child that usually stops after 3-4 years old I'm guessing as they can do it themselves, I have this for the next 30 years. It's not as if you have no sleepless nights either, colic scares are fun, walking a horse round and round in circles in the freezing cold to make sure they don't die.

We get along better now and theres no patronising comments. There doesn't need to be a competition between parents and non parents. Hell if I have kids I know I'll struggle, because I dunno what to do. It's a learning curve, just like I had to learn to look after the horse, I will with a child. Will struggle at first for sure, but it will get better eventually.

Babies are more intense than horses in general. Society frowns on you if you chuck babies out in the field for the day, and horses don't tend to demand your presence whenever they wake during the night. However, you don't need to muck babies out in winter and you don't have to pay farrier bills or pull up ragwort (sodding ragwort) so it's swings and roundabouts.

If you've ever had a yearling though, that's the best practice I have ever had for dealing with angry toddlers, except in this case the toddler is a massive quadruped that weighs as much as a young rhino and has the temperament to go with it. Ugh, yearlings.

I looked after a dying relative when young. There was very little help available. That did include constantly seeing to her at night, changing adult sized nappies, spoon feeding, wiping snotty noses, etc. Basically she could not do even simple things. I think that was harder than looking after most babies. I used to cry every single day.

When my DD was about 2 years old and going through the the 'terrible twos' phase (i.e. not knowing what it was that she wanted,just that she wanted it NOW),my childless older brother said 'I'd NEVER put up with that sort of behaviour. If she was my daughter,she'd get a smack and be sent to bed for the rest of the afternoon'. Yeah,like that's REALLY going to solve the problem. FWIW,he has never had kids,so unfortunately,I've never been able to witness him putting his words of wisdom into action.

I have a chronic Illness, work full time, a commute, look after all housework/washing and have 7 cats I get pretty tired.

Said chronic illness makes me not sleep very well lots of the time . Cats no problem they sleep downstairs

I'm not sure why people are banging on about the tiredness thing. One poster said competing newborn tiredness to a cat fussing once in the night made her laugh.

If a non parent said 'I'm suffering from a chronic illness that makes me tired or
I care for an elderly relative during the night' and a mom said 'oh that's nothing' I could understand the indignation but come on.

Little and broken sleep without any ability to recover for months is not a common pre-baby experience.

Sorry about your chronic illness though cherry but glad t hear your cats are no hassle 😊

Told me that if I wanted a lie in, just to tell my 1 yr old that it’s quiet time until 7.30am

London I read some research recently that said those who get the least sleep overall, are those with chronic pain.