Poppy etiquette for Germans

[Fanta4]

Nc but long time member.

I am German. I have lived in the UK pretty much all my adult life (my choice, not circumstance). Every year I have an internal debate about whether I should/ should not wear a poppy. Mindful also that I work in a formal, customer facing environment and don’t have a noticeably German accent.

Pros:
_Good cause I support
_On a personal level, very grateful for the sacrifice, particularly WW2, which my parents vividly and horribly remember
_Feel fully part of British society, my children are British etc

Cons
_Feels strangely disrespectful to wear a poppy when my quite recent ancestors caused so much death and destruction
_I’ve had an elderly neighbour at the door selling poppies who would only sell to my husband, so feelings obvs strong in that generation and I don’t want to offend

So over to you, wise Mnetters. AIBU to wear a poppy?

The fact that a lot of people are saying the poppy is in remembrance of all the fallen just shows that is a widespread belief. I was told that myself as a child and I've always thought it. Even if that is not the official line of the RBL it is what a lot of people are remembering when they wear a poppy. We remember that tragic loss of young lives and have the goal that a terrible world war like that should never happen again.

Absolutely Mini

I am embarrassed by you MsHarry

OP, I hope you do wear a poppy.

"I don't think it's controversial to say that many German people approved wholeheartedly with Hitler's aims." I think it's fair to say that but for many an acute fear of the rising socialists drove them into Hitler's arms. This wasn't just abstract fear it was fear of socialist young men ransacking the streets and having physical fights making trouble way before HItler's nasty little men became powerful.

However many people across Europe including the British royal family and several British politicians also sided with HItlers ideology. Anti semitism was ripe across Europe and reaches far back into the middle ages.

Astonishingly and horrifyingly anti-Semitism is becoming more wide spread again.

NumberEightyOne

Indeed they did.

I'm not sure what point you are making?

I think everybody involved in a war they did not ask for and had no choice to fight in should be remembered and mourned.

There are two sides to war and each suffer pain and loss, both sides deserve to be remembered.

The fact that a lot of people are saying the poppy is in remembrance of all the fallen just shows that is a widespread belief

Yy. It always amazes me how many people don't understand what the (red) poppy actually represents, and who also don't understand the way it is now being used politically. Harry Leslie Smith wrote a very moving piece about that

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/nov/08/poppy-last-time-remembrance-harry-leslie-smith

I would not be offended by a German wearing a poppy. Especially someone who is married to a British person with British children.

As someone who lost seven members of my family in World War II, five of whom died in Nazi concentration or labour camps.

Thank you HeteronormativeHaybales. I see this will descend into the German guilt vs circumstance debate and as I am firmly on the guilt side there’s really no need to bash, I agree. I don’t want to commemorate Nazi perpetrators, I ask whether it is polite and proper for me as a German to commemorate the British forces.

I'm glad Number because I wouldn't want to be associated with any of your comments. I will continue to wear my poppy for ALL killed in wars, of all nationalities, ages and religions.

It's quite a sad state of affairs that people feel they should pick at people's representation of the poppy.
FWIW we spoke to a vet. today selling poppies, my daughter proudly told him that her grandad wore the same 'costume' as the people in the pictures. He told her that if she kept the poppy on her coat she would be not only making her grandad proud but would be showing that every person who got hurt mattered. Here & in other countries.

Now, if a war vet. views a poppy as a symobolic thought to all who fell, in all wars to date, why do people others nit pick?

expat-my grandfather was dutch/german and his father was working as an engineer in berlin when it all began.Gf was conscripted into the hitler youth along with his brother/they were 16 years old!when sent to guard a border they escaped to denmark and eventually to the states.when i was making poppys (long ago we made them ourselves)for veterans/rememberance day he ask for one and told me the story i have just related.
when i asked him if he wore it for the americans that rescued them, he said"yes,and for all the innocent boys who were not as lucky as i was."
my irish gm who came over in 1917 wore hers for her "boys' so i wear one for all the fallen.war sucks.
the other side of the family fought during the american revolution and every war since.i am proud of them but wish they had not had to do it.
and yes the french,english and spanish were fascists when they came and destroyed the american indians of all continents.for no other reason then they wanted to be left alone and didnt want to worship as christians.and gold of course.and land

and i will stop now...

I will continue to wear my poppy for ALL killed in wars, of all nationalities, ages and religions

But that is not what the poppy is for , if those are your beliefs you should think about a white poppy. The OP wants to solely remember the British forces, which is what the red poppy represents.

Foxysoxy You said that German people were fearful of the Nazis and that's why they weren't resisted by the German people. I don't think this is entirely correct but that is your opinion and you are entitled to it. I think you don't want to accept that the German people supported the Nazi ideology and again, you have your own reasons for that.
The reason why I think that your views are iconic is that huge numbers of British men were prepared to fight the Nazis (I can't think how anybody could dispute this but no doubt somebody will try) when, according to you the Germans were cowering in fear.

OP, British and German people have far, far more in common than different. I wear a poppy to remember the fallen. (And I have never understood cricket either, but I have given all my children a schultute.) I am British with German friends, and I love Germany 🇩🇪 .

I do hope everybody who criticises people's representations of a poppy ensure they wear it correctly

I completely understand where you are coming from Fanta4 and I would say that yes it proper and good to wear a poppy as a German living in the UK if you want to, to remember the British forces. I would find it extremely odd if anyone thought this disrespectful.

I am usually quite sensitive to the feeling of being a EU person living in the UK and how speaking with an accent can sometimes alienate people you interact with. I'd say that I have always had a positive experience wearing a poppy and some friends have said that they really appreciated it on some sort of emotional level.

OP you sound like a lovely, respectful, reflective and decent person

I know exactly what the poppy is for thank you. I wear it to remember ALL na dot help ex soldiers and their families. I would also wear a white poppy next to it because I hate war. Haven't seen one to buy.

To answer your question Fanta it is entirely appropriate to wear one if you want to. Surely that is what those soldiers were fighting for - to give us all the freedom to live as we see fit.

MsHarry I haven't said that I disagree with people doing that. I just don't believe that the poppy is jingoistic. Wear it for whatever reason you want.

Ironic not iconic.

MsHarry white poppies seem very elusive sadly, have never seen one here. Similarly with purple poppies for the fallen animals of wars

Well I can only speak for myself. But I am wearing my poppy in a spirit of sorrow and remembrance, not in triumph or victory. I'm more than welcoming of you wearing one too.

And you are not responsible for any wrongs that may have been perpetrated by your ancestors, any more than I am responsible for all of the horrible things that the British have done in the past.

That's a true point, I'm British through and through but definitely don't agree with everything Britain has done in the past!

There is not really any should or shouldn't about it. It's a personal choice and it is not for others to dictate the rules.

If you support the cause and are grateful for the sacrifices British soldiers have made, go for it. I don't think there is any more to it than that.

Yes, the German nation has a dark history and it is understandable that people are still uneasy with it. I wouldn't, for example, join in with celebrations of German culture like Oktoberfest but you can't hold individuals responsible. It sounds like you are on our side now.

www.ppu.org.uk/whitepoppy/outlets2017.html

This webpage has a list of places you can buy white poppies, and also an online store (maybe too late for this year). Some of the postcards are good, I like the one with white and red poppies.
It used to be a thing here not to take red and white flowers to a hospital - they symbolised blood and bandages.