Poppy etiquette for Germans

[Fanta4]

Nc but long time member.

I am German. I have lived in the UK pretty much all my adult life (my choice, not circumstance). Every year I have an internal debate about whether I should/ should not wear a poppy. Mindful also that I work in a formal, customer facing environment and don’t have a noticeably German accent.

Pros:
_Good cause I support
_On a personal level, very grateful for the sacrifice, particularly WW2, which my parents vividly and horribly remember
_Feel fully part of British society, my children are British etc

Cons
_Feels strangely disrespectful to wear a poppy when my quite recent ancestors caused so much death and destruction
_I’ve had an elderly neighbour at the door selling poppies who would only sell to my husband, so feelings obvs strong in that generation and I don’t want to offend

So over to you, wise Mnetters. AIBU to wear a poppy?

OP - i am in germany and have been noticed lots of 'remembrance Plaques' around the cities, remembering the atrocities done in the Wars in those places.

It's not a case of not remembering, just that there is no particular day for it.

I'd wear a poppy. The Germans have jsut as strong a sense of 'Never forget' as the Poppy day perpetuates. If not more so .

Cricket? Here you go...

You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out. When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out.
When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out. When both sides have been in and all the men have been out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game.

Easy

Wear a red and a white, maybe?
I wear a red and a bluet because of my heritage.

My dear deceased Gran was German who married a British Soldier after WW2. She not only wore a poppy to remember those who fell but also sold poppies.

Bleuet, that should read!

Oh, and wear the poppy if you would like to. I wear mine to honour all those who died in war. As others have said, they rarely had a choice.

Lots of people don't wear one so I don't think you'd ever look conspicuous without one.

Even when I buy one, it usually falls off a few hours later. I don't bother buying a new one because I think the point is to donate, which I've already done.

I would never ask someone where their poppy was or why they weren't wearing one.

Re not remembering the fallen in Germany, it is I think quite a natural consequence of how German society has been trying to cleanse itself after the war and Holocaust. The way I was brought up (and I’d be interested to hear your views ChunkyKnitCardigan) very much assumed that there is something inherent in German culture and society that would lead to such horrors and we have to be constantly vigilant otherwise it might happen again.

It started after WWI . It is not specifically about remembering the defeat of the Nazis.

Oh thanks Banana. Are you DH?

Non-Brit here. I wear a poppy for my ancestors who were allies but also for all who participated to recognise their miserable experiences and for casualties in recent the years too: poppies are not just for WWI and WWII fallen. Do wear a poppy if you feel so minded. If nothing else, its a chance to try to build bridges. Love the suggestions to wear a forget-me-not too if you feel so minded.

Military brat here, spent 20+ years living in Germany. Many, many Germans wore poppies where we lived (all over) because it represents anyone who sacrificed themselves in War. German soldiers were doing exactly what English soldiers did; following orders. Means they deserve just as much respect & thought imo. Just because their leader was a knob.

Poppies also symbolise soldiers lost in more recent events serving their country. Our leaders have been knobs too & sadly it is the soldiers who pay.

I say wear your poppy with pride. Remember everyone who sacrificed themselves for the idiocy of others xx

Balls sorry. Meant to say 'just because their leader was a knob doesn't mean the soldiers deserve any less respect'

It's a personal decision. You do whatever you're comfortable with.

As far as I am concerned Poppies are to remember everyone who has died fighting a war.

THIS ^

In addition, the poppies were a "product" (for want of a better term) of WWI - where men of all nations were sent blindly to their deaths by their arrogant governments. I always think of the Wilfred Owen poem, "The parable of the Old Man and The Young"

So Abram rose, and clave the wood, and went,
And took the fire with him, and a knife.
And as they sojourned both of them together,
Isaac the first-born spake and said, My Father,
Behold the preparations, fire and iron,
But where the lamb for this burnt-offering?
Then Abram bound the youth with belts and straps,
and builded parapets and trenches there,
And stretchèd forth the knife to slay his son.
When lo! an angel called him out of heaven,
Saying, Lay not thy hand upon the lad,
Neither do anything to him. Behold,
A ram, caught in a thicket by its horns;
Offer the Ram of Pride instead of him.

But the old man would not so, but slew his son,
And half the seed of Europe, one by one.

Innocent men and boys of all nations died and were crippled for an ideal spun to them by their governments. They all had their futures torn from them. Their families were ripped apart - a whole generation of women could not marry and a whole generation of children were not born because of the arrogance of governments.

In that war and in others, good men have died alongside the bad, thinking that they were protecting their families and homes.

Feel free to wear your poppy.

mustbemad17 Did they? Only I grew up near a British army base (spent my childhood listening to BFBS radio) and I’d never seen a poppy in my life. That’s a nice thought that Germans have adopted them.

If you feel sorrow for the young men who fell during the wars of the 20th century, wear it with understanding. They did not have the choice of going to fight; most were conscripts. It is sad that Europe lost the flower of at least one, possibly two or three generations, between 1914-45. I do think Hitler was worth defeating, so I can't be completely impartial.

Op, you sound lovely, thoughtful and respectful and should wear a poppy if you would like to. I am shocked at your neighbour. It has never occurred to me that anyone would think like that.

I wonder if you could shed some light for me from a German perspective? I have a German friend who lives in the UK who is quite outspoken about how dreadful poppy wearing, remembrance parades etc are. She seems to think it is all some English, imperialistic, jingoistic thing that celebrates war. I actually find her views quite offensive as in my experience nothing could be further from the truth - I just have no idea as to where her views have come from so have no idea how to tackle them. Is this a cultural difference or just her?

Thank you Schadenfreude for taking the time to share that beautiful poem.

Fanta4 for as long as I can remember. We lived within the community, not on base, and many of our civi German neighbours would request poppies. It was really touching to see. I will admit it was usually the younger generations; I think the older generations found it difficult to process, for the reasons you have mentioned. But I am of the firm opinion that Germany now is not what it was back then & the German people shouldn't be constantly made to feel guilty for the sins of those before them

Swirlingasong I think that is quite typical of the younger Germans who were brought up to think all war is evil and should not be glorified. This perhaps extends to not wanting to acknowledge soldiers and their merit and sacrifice. However, I would find your friend’s attitude offensive too tbh.

My granddad, in common with so many of his generation, fought in the second world war. One very distinct memory I have of him was when he took my brother and me to the Cannock Chase war cemetery, which is for German war graves. He told us that he wanted us to remember that war is a terrible waste of young lives, on all sides.

It is in that spirit that I will wear my poppy.

My dad was torpedoed and my mum blitzed out in the war. But they always spoke with warmth and respect about the "ordinary" German servicemen who were sent to fight who just wanted peace like we all do.

Germans and British are good friends and stand together now. Wear a poppy if you want OP (or don't if you don't). It's about honouring all the fallen and not forgetting the waste of war.

I am German born naturalised Brit my dc are British born and our lives are firmly rooted in the UK.

I wear my poppy because it's a tradition of my British community and because I am part of this community and I care for it. There are still elderly people living on my street who have experienced WWII as children and youngsters and I feel that it is more respectful to wear the poppy and show that I am aware and care than ignoring it altogether. I suppose there is also an element of 'when in Rome..'

I am bloody grateful that the British and allies won WWII and, ultimately our armed forces keep our (my chosen home) country safe. I am happy to donate to the British legion too.

To me personally it's also a reminder that WWI has changed the world beyond recognition and that some of the conflicts associated with it are still bubbling under the surface and that "lest we forget".

We lived very near to Bergen-Belsen concentration camp, & often visited. It was nice to see that school children were taken there (German & of course English as it defined why we were stationed there) & encouraged to explore the war from all prospectives. There became a bit of a tradition to leave stones on gravestones or markers as a sign of respect, & at the end is a memorial stone stating how many soldiers died in war. Every time we went, more stones had been added 🙂 So attitudes are changing. There is also a massive cemetary in Belsen that has a white cross for the soldiers killer; German & English, & it was very popular with both sides for paying respects