Poppy etiquette for Germans

[Fanta4]

Nc but long time member.

I am German. I have lived in the UK pretty much all my adult life (my choice, not circumstance). Every year I have an internal debate about whether I should/ should not wear a poppy. Mindful also that I work in a formal, customer facing environment and don’t have a noticeably German accent.

Pros:
_Good cause I support
_On a personal level, very grateful for the sacrifice, particularly WW2, which my parents vividly and horribly remember
_Feel fully part of British society, my children are British etc

Cons
_Feels strangely disrespectful to wear a poppy when my quite recent ancestors caused so much death and destruction
_I’ve had an elderly neighbour at the door selling poppies who would only sell to my husband, so feelings obvs strong in that generation and I don’t want to offend

So over to you, wise Mnetters. AIBU to wear a poppy?

There is an enormous amount of respect for the British and many German are Anglophiles. I am pleased that the German football team will show their solidarity on Friday during Remembrance week, especially in the light of Brexit.

It is incredible how much warring took place across Europe until the end of WWII. Solidarity and building bridges between European (and other) nations must never be compromised.

I am Irish. My understanding of the poppies is that they are specifically to memorialise British soldiers who died. It ignores, as do many people in this country, the huge number of Irish soldiers who died in the two wars, the centuries of British occupation and oppression that the Irish endured notwithstanding.

I live in the UK, and am very happy to do so, as are many people from countries occupied by the British over the last few hundred years - it's a great country and I hope to live here for a long time, but many people here (including British people, of course!) have complex feelings about the army, what it did/does and what it stands for, and may reasonably choose to opt out of the poppy thing.

We recently moved to London, and a very international area, and I have notice far far fewer people wearing it this year than I did last year when we lived in a small city a couple of hours away.

It is a very personal choice and you cannot dictate who is remembered and why. It's not though, is it? The red poppies are sold specifically in memory of BRITISH (and allied) soldiers. You can reappropriate it all you like in your head, but it's like saying "I wear a crucifix to symbolise my Buddhism - it's a very personal choice, and you cannot dictate who it honours and why."

I agree with EvilDoctor.
Irish Mum here.

Flinderskeepers and kittytom - see you in the Hofbräuhaus!

I was interested in the differences between how UK children and German children are taught about the war. There is actually very little mention of WW1 & WW2 here in primary school but once they get to secondary school it is covered very thoroughly. Primary schools go up to age 10 here.

We did have an odd incident when my son was about 8, on holiday in Canada. At a camp site, he found some Canadian kids to play with and when he came back, he asked 'what's a Nazi?'. The Canadians had obviously called him one.

Given that his grandfather joined the RAF in 1942, aged 17, I found that somewhat hard to swallow, but kids are kids.

Personally, I wear my poppy to remember the fallen from all sides. I think you should wear a poppy if you want to.

Aderyn I also think he was very charismatic, like Churchill.

Yes Evil. It is complicated but he did win support.

www.spiegel.de/international/germany/the-fuehrer-myth-how-hitler-won-over-the-german-people-a-531909.html

Poppy is a remembrance symbol and one I associate with peace. Refusing to sell you a poppy goes against the grain imo. Wear your poppy with pride

My older two are in (German) years 7 and 5 and have had no mention of the war thus far in class, but dc2's class will be visiting Sachsenhausen next year as part of a year-long project on awareness of exclusion and persecution of people for all sorts of reasons. They'll be 11 and 12.

We've talked a lot about it at home in age-appropriate terms, I've read them When Hitler Stole Pink Rabbit, we've watched The Great Dictator (and with my 12yo the Fawlty Towers episode 'The Germans', which prompted a thoughtful conversation about British and German attitudes), we went to see the empty library memorial (remembering the book-burning) in Berlin.

Given that they are growing up in Germany and their primary identification is as German, I'll be interested to see how their relationship to all this develops.

What my 12yo has had at school, however, is information (from a visiting group, I think) on how to recognise neo-Nazi symbols and how these people find ways of publicising their beliefs that get round the general ban on them.

As I said up thread we have an elderly family memeber who was in the Hitler youth and had the " honour" of being presented to him twice!!
Her take on it is VERY VERY interesting and I have made notes/recordings of our conversations about it as she's 92 now and once she's gone the information will be gone with her too. She married an English soldier after the war ( not much choice as preggers but they had a long and happy marriage) and she said that where she lived they always loved the English, especially in the last days of the war when the English army arrived and " rescued" them from the Russians. The stories she tells about The Russians are terrible!! Even to this day if DH isn't clean shaven she will hiss " go and shave you look like a Russian" at him!!!

We also took the DC to Zeppelin Platz recently and they were amazed to be standing where Hitler actually stood.

worrying how many people think the poppy represents all soldiers death it dosnt

To ME it does runners when I wear one I do for for ALL war dead
I don't care what the official line is

I wear a poppy and I think of all the fallen including Germans. Most young German men didn't have much of a choice about fighting, particularly in WWI.

And to some extent they were brainwashed in WWII. I remember talking to an old Austrian man who fought in WWII who was captured by the British in France and couldn't believe it when they treated him well and gave him tea. He had been taught to believe we would kill him.

hoppinggreen when you buy an poppy you are giving to the royal british legion that 'By donating to The Royal British Legion, you’re helping us to help those in need within the Armed Forces community. We provide support for members of the Royal Navy, British Army, Royal Air Force, veterans and their families.' so its not an official line its what they do and what you are funding

I have never worn a poppy. If you want to then go for it.

I would not in the least be offended by your wearing a poppy. You are defined by your own actions, not the actions of dead forebarers.

NumberEightyOne - I think you've confused me with another poster.

For anyone who hasn't seen it, I really recommend the BBC documentary "The Nazis - A Warning from History" about the Nazis' rise to power despite having little support at first. It was originally shown in the late 1990s but is repeated from time to time on BBC4.

Yes: worth remarking that Hitler was initially appointed not elected, because the elite thought they could control him.

Have I GhostsToMonsoon? Sorry about that.

Not read whole thread so this may have been posted already but the English and the German football teams will both be wearing poppies on the weekend at their match against each other.

www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/41914544

I worry too about the rise of fascism in the UK

It is rising all over Europe the UK isn't alone in that respect.

OP as someone who had family members killed in the Holocaust, please do wear a poppy if you want to.

Not read the entire thread but I live on mainland Europe and will be attending a Remebrance Service at a cemetary on Sunday.

It is a shared cemetary. Both Germans and British are buried there from the first world war. There will be people from both countries and there will be two Padres conducting the service in both languages.

Afterwards the Brit contingents will invite their German collegues back for lunch and entertainment. We are allies now.

Irish here.

Our Taoiseach wore an Irish version of the poppy in the Dáil yesterday - to commemorate the fallen Irish in WW1.

As others have said, the poppy is problematic for us considering the colonial history and the issue would crop up from time to time when an Irish born premier league footballer would be the target of abuse for choosing not to wear one.

It's right to commemorate the men that gave their lives - whoever they are.
This song is hauntingly beautiful and poignant: