Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

AIBU to be annoyed with preschool teacher

67 replies

2boyz1girl · 07/11/2017 12:59

Picked dd up from preschool today & I asked her teacher how is she getting on? She replied sharply "well she's only been back two days" (meaning after midterm break)...
I was a bit taken aback as she said to me before midterm that she felt 3 year old dd wasn't very sociable eg playing alongside others as opposed to actually playing with them.
I said oh as I spoke to you before the break, then she replied that dd was making more of an effort with the others, then she said sharply & quite loudly "is there something going on at home or something that's concerning you?"
Fuming here, only asked how my child was getting on ffs... Same teacher is much more cordial towards the other parents... Already raised issues with owner about another incident that annoyed me a few weeks back so now I just don't want to make another fuss, just a vent here & someone to let me know if I'm aibu or not!

OP posts:

RedSkyAtNight · 07/11/2017 13:07

Nothing wrong with anything she said IMO. (particularly if parents aren't really encouraged to speak to teachers on pick up and/or she has to go straight into a next session). I'm guessing you are offended by the teacher's tone, which we have no way of judging.
I'd chalk it up to her having a bad day - or possibly she feels you are asking too many questions (if you talk to her a lot).

Original poster

2boyz1girl · 07/11/2017 13:09

Ok Redsky, thanks!

OP posts:

InDubiousBattle · 07/11/2017 13:12

I generally try not to talk to the teachers at drop off and pick up because they seem to be the busiest times. As pp says i'd chalk it up to a bad day. I definitely wouldn't be fuming!

Alibobbob · 07/11/2017 13:13

I think maybe she's a bit put out that you complained to the owner. I would carry on being pleasant and ignore her snippyness. Don't take it personally.

Original poster

2boyz1girl · 07/11/2017 13:16

Maybe that's what it is I don't know, but she seems to have alot more time for the other parents who collect. Dd is very happy & has no complaints so I guess that's all that matters

OP posts:

Allthewaves · 07/11/2017 13:17

Was this when she was handing out each child their adult at pick up?

Oly5 · 07/11/2017 13:18

She was unprofessional and I’d be annoyed... but I’d leave it for now. If it carries on, tell the manager you’re not happy with the attitude

ProfessorCat · 07/11/2017 13:18

Unless she was extremely busy, she sounds like a bit of a dick.

Original poster

2boyz1girl · 07/11/2017 13:20

It was when she was handing out the children at the end, she has plenty of time to chat to the other parents... I didn't like the fact she asked if there was anything at home we were concerned about, I only asked how she got on today!

OP posts:

melj1213 · 07/11/2017 13:21

So the teacher raised an issue before the break, around the same time you complained about her to the owner and then within a day or two of returning from the break you're expecting a detailed report of improvement during pick up?

The teacher is probably annoyed and sees you as "that parent" ... if a child has issues with being social then they're not going to have improved as soon as she got back, I'd give the first couple of days as settling in and taken her "well it's only been two days" as a lead into "if nothing has changed by the end of the week can you let me know so I can set up a meeting to discuss a plan going forward"

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 07/11/2017 13:23

Teachers aren't allowed off days, Redsky. We've all got our shit going on, but You leave them at the door.
I'd be highly pissed off, too, op.
Especially when like you say she cordial with all the other parents.

Original poster

2boyz1girl · 07/11/2017 13:27

No I had an issue with her in September which was raised... Dd just said the teacher asked her today if her mammy & daddy were nasty or nice!!!!! Wtf.....

OP posts:

JonSnowsWife · 07/11/2017 13:36

Dd just said the teacher asked her today if her mammy & daddy were nasty or nice!!!!! Wtf.....

I'd clarify that's what what was said first if I was you. Me and DCs Dad were once play fighting - tickling just mucking about etc. Very young DD told staff the next day he'd hit me. 🙈

It's highly unprofessional of the teacher to say / ask that of the parents to one of their pupils.

I also think the hows she getting on comment was too soon on day 2. DS takes weeks to settle back in socially.

gillybeanz · 07/11/2017 13:37

Is she a teacher or someone with a level 2 in childcare.
You'd expect more from a teacher, but someone with the equivalent of a GCSE and just left school, then they are only learning and haven't got the experience and knowledge yet.

brasty · 07/11/2017 13:38

I think the issue is with you OP. Teacher said nothing wrong. She was asking if there were any issues at home or nursery you were particularly concerned about. I suspect you are quick to take offence at nothing.

Original poster

2boyz1girl · 07/11/2017 13:39

She would be highly qualified, I would guess mid 40's & has alot of EYS experience....

OP posts:

Pengggwn · 07/11/2017 13:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ceto · 07/11/2017 13:41

and then within a day or two of returning from the break you're expecting a detailed report of improvement during pick up?

FFS, how does "How is DD getting on?" translate as a demand for a detailed report of improvement?

DanicaJones · 07/11/2017 13:41

She does sound curt. Was the issue you raised with the owner about her? If so she might have been put out about that.

Trafalgarxxx · 07/11/2017 13:44

It was an unprofessional question to ask in those circumstances, ie at the door in front of other parents.
As if you would ever actually answer that question even if there was actually something going on....

I agree, she is being curt because she is still grumpy about the fact you complained at the start of the year.

Original poster

2boyz1girl · 07/11/2017 13:44

Danica, yes it was

OP posts:

ProfessorCat · 07/11/2017 14:39

Then I think she was definitely being a dick, OP. I always have time to chat to all my parents if they want to, even if I have things to do. It seems odd how she is willing to talk to the others and not to you.

needtogiveitablow · 07/11/2017 14:56

Sounds very similar to one of the staff at DS pre-school - are you based in the NE by any chance?! She’s quick to pass comment on incidents but god forbid you want any further info!

Original poster

2boyz1girl · 08/11/2017 09:14

No not in NE, dropped dd in this morning & she was having a very friendly chat with another mum, very annoyed to be honest & worried that her obvious dislike for me has been carried over to my dd while I'm there (dd has not given me any reason to think this btw).
Don't think I can raise another complaint though to say I find her unapproachable...
Dh said to get used to it as once dd starts school there may be more teachers that we will have different rapports with...

OP posts:

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 08/11/2017 09:20

So she's making you feel intimidated then. I'm not saying intentionally of course.
I think its time you booked an appointment with the HT and say
I feel like I can't approach Mrs ........
Mention about her hostility to you and her friendliness to other parents, sbd that you feel singled out.
Its a fuckin bad day, when a parent can't ask a teacher how her child is getting on. Oh and if she finds it stressful. She's in the wrong job

Flip

1 2 3