Splitting restaurant bill

[idontwanttodothisanymore]

I’m one of those people who like to pay for just my meal. I hate splitting the bill by how many people there are.

Me and DH went out with his friend and his OH the other day.

Mine and DH meal came to: £31.57
I had pizza and water, he had chicken and one coke.
DH friend and OH meal came to: £49.78
They had ribs, lasagne, chips and 3 drinks.

Final bill was £81.75
DH friend had two vouchers for £20 off, so they both used that.

Then the OH said we could pay the rest. So we ended up paying £41.75 - £10 more than our meal!!!

I had never met her before and was completely shocked that she wanted us to split by 4 when our meal was cheaper.
She was very intimidating anyway so I didn’t want to say anything.

We were going to do 2 bills but the waiter was all flustered so we said don’t bother. Regretting it now!

I know it’s only £10 but our circumstances are so different. They both work and she has one child - he works full time and she works part time. Whereas DH works part time (and overtime if there is any) but I don’t (I had to leave my job due to medically issues), and we have 2 children.

DH doesn’t think I should be annoyed but I really am!
AIBU to be annoyed?

I don’t think I’ll ever see her again anyway, I didn’t get a good vibe from her and she’s just not my kind of person at all.

*'Mine and DH meal came to: £31.57'

Haven't read past this as it's too cringe

Eh? Whats wrong with looking at a receipt and knowing how much you paid for something?

On the Continent it’s so simple

I hate when people say that. It's meaningless anyway. Where on the continent? Restaurant etiquette is completely different in every country, so where are you even talking about?

£40 on a meal is so much more than what I’d want to pay. I don’t think we’ve ever spent that much even with a dessert!

When me, DH and our 2 children go out for a meal. We usually spend £25 at Wetherspoons. Which was actually a lot nicer than the restaurant we ended up at.

I went out for my friends birthday a few months ago. We picked a restaurant with 2 for 1 meals and we split the bill by 4 of us because our meals cost pretty much the same. We ended up paying £12 each which included the tip. 3 of us had dessert and 1 had a glass of prosecco. That was fine by me because £12 was cheaper than what any of our meals actually cost.

'Mine and DH meal came to: £31.57'Haven't read past this as it's too cringe

May be you should read past that to educate yourself why people may have to do this. You probably find homeless people on the street ' offensive' too

I find these threads fascinating!
I am not in the UK and here if we are out for dinner with friends we always just divide the bill by however many people and add a service charge. If we have pre-dinner drinks one person will prob pay for the round and post dinner someone else and it rotates around and we never keep score and I certainly have no sense that anyone is taking the piss on this front.

Personally I keep my ordering in line with the group as we're ordering so for instance if we are out for a casual dinner and say pasta is £12 but steak is £25 and the majority of the group are ordering pasta I will go with something in that price range. Similarly if everyone is having a starter I will but if the majority opt not to then I wouldn't bother.

Generally if it is that sort of meal it is because it is a quick bite before going on to something else like theatre, gig or cinema so the meal is not the main event. I just have never been in a situation where one person is having side salad and tap water while the other is having a 3 course banquet - that is awkward to me!

If it is a night out for dinner it is usually a nicer restaurant (none of us get out as much due to kids etc so we make it count when we do!) and most dishes are similarly priced so I order what I want then and the bill is divided evenly.

if we are out with my sister and her husband there is a scuffle as to who pays the bill and it always evens out over time.

If we are out with dh's step sister...she sits there veeeery quietly until the bill has been paid...but that's another story!

I just can't imagine dividing it all up and working out exact amounts especially as several bottles of wine / prosecco / beer may have been ordered and they have different prices - how do you work that out?

OP I feel the same way as you and I know lots of people who get offended when the bill is spilt like that. Yes £9, isn't a lot of money but why on earth should you have the pleasure of paying £9 towards another couple meal ...

I went out with a group of friends a few weeks back. My meal came to £10.99 or something like that ... I had water as I was driving .... when the bill came I ponked my cash down on the table and said this is for mine .... It didn't go down to well initially however I said cheek in tounge I ain't paying for your drinks ...

£40 on a meal is so much more than what I’d want to pay. I don’t think we’ve ever spent that much even with a dessert!

So? That's on you and your DH.

Yes, they were rude not to share the vouchers. But your partner offered to pick up the bill. And you both agreed to eat dinner with them. And you didn't clarify before the dinner.

I mean, either brief your DH beforehand, or just go to weatherspoons.

Here are the Splitting The Bill Rules To Live By:

1. Discuss how you want to split the bill BEFORE you order if this is important to you. Plenty of almost all restaurants will organise totally separate bills for everyone if they are asked to do it from the start. It becomes a problem after the event.

1. Even if you are equally splitting a bill, it is good manners and proper etiquette to NEVER require a non-drinker to split the alcohol bill because alcohol is so expensive. Food bill split first for non drinkers share and then remainder split between drinkers.

This should be automatically volunteered by the drinkers and not left for the non-drinker to ask.

Same approach if there is a massive disparity between level of alcohol consumed (eg. if two got there early and had four rounds of drinks that are on the same bill).

Equally if you have had a dish that is hugely disproportionate to the other costs, it's good manners to offer to pay a larger share to reflect that. (Here I'm talking about white truffle or caviar, rather than a more expensive bowl of pasta!)

1. Which ever side of the fence you are on, be sensitive to the fact that (a) an "only my share" default splitter may be on a tight budget and (b) a "split equally" default splitter is likely to think the "only my share" (if not obviously on a tight budget) is miserly and miserable.

1. Rule no 1 is even more important with groups of people you don't know well. Groups of friends develop their own cultures for this kind of thing and if you are a new arrival in a group (new gf or bf) it's worth discussing with the people you know in the group before you go out to avoid embarrassment.

Unfortunately you should’ve spoken up at the time. As you didn’t you’ll have to take it on the chin. The nice thing to do would’ve been for your friends to put the vouchers in for everybody and split the remainder between the 2 couples, I’m quite shocked they didn’t do that! I probably wouldn’t see them again as the whole thing sounds quite depressing to be honest!

It’s absolutely ridiculous. I suggest you don’t go out to dinner with anyone again!

Unbelievable! You are an awful snob! How depressing this thread is. I never realised there were so many stuck up, patronising ignorant people.

£40 on a meal is so much more than what I’d want to pay. I don’t think we’ve ever spent that much even with a dessert

You've never spent more than 20 pounds a head for up to three courses? Blimey, I know food is stupidly cheap in the UK but is that even possible? Where do you eat?

YANBU in principle. But financial circumstances and the number of children people choose to have are irrelevant. Goodwill on both sides would have been for them to throw in the vouchers for the benefit of the whole party and then you split the remaining bill in half.

I love splitting the bill equally as I usually have three courses and a bottle of wine .

this happens so much

either say at beginning of meal you want to pay for own

or when bill comes and they say split it, you say no you would prefer to pay for own as driving/skint etc

yes they were a bit cheeky if said splitting the bill, yet put in less then half via vouchers

you/dh should have said something

I think if you don't ever spend 40 pounds on a meal then not eating out with people you don't know may be a sensible step. There is nothing wrong with not valuing food or not wanting to spend money on a meal out but I am not sure it is compatible with going for a meal out as a social occassion. It may well be that another activity would work better for you and the people you are spending time with. If you like eating but can only do it within this budget then having people round to your house and cooking for them is a much cheaper alternative.

Ok I’ll make it even more contentious by saying I think a two pound tip on a eighty pound bill is really tight, unless there is a service charge added. Whole new can of worms I know.

This is all DH fault.

He told the waiter not to bother re having separate bills.

He said he woudl pay the rest after the vouchers.

@hotbutteredcrumpetsandtea
We really don’t go out very often at all.
We also don’t normally have a starter.
We didn’t get dessert this time either.

Me and DH usually stick to Wetherspoons because we enjoy it. Their prices are cheap but the food is lovely.

But like I said, we didn’t get to pick the restaurant.

Next time, ask the waiter for separate bills. Who cares if looks flustered (wtf?). Then none of these problems occur.

Where I live, separate bills among groups is the norm.

'You probably find homeless people on the street ' offensive' too'

Actually no

However I find YOU extremely offensive making such sweeping assumptions of ones character

I think 99% of the population, when dining as 2 couples, would expect just to split the bill.

If you didn't want to do that, then it was down to either you or your H to say something.

Saying £40 is "so much more" than you wanted to spend on a meal when you were willing to spend £32 sounds a bit odd too.

Surely the argument is not over £9, but that the other parties used vouchers to get their own meals for free rather than a reduction of the entire bill, and paying about a tenner each.

DH didn’t say he would foot the rest.
We didn’t know they had vouchers until it came to paying.

The waiter was flustered by us saying we wanted 2 bills. He was getting visibly stressed, so DH just put it on one and we would sort it before we paid.

Came to paying and she gave the waiter the vouchers and he printed a new receipt with their £40 taken off.

What is with all these people that are easily intimidated in person but have a sudden burst of fire online I can’t believe you’re being so petty over £10?

My problem is that you could have EASILY split the bill, but didn’t because ‘the waiter was flustered’. Was he? This is his job, and all it takes is inputting the amount into a card reader which a manager could easily help out with if he needed it? It’s a simple, routine transaction, it wasn’t impossible to split the bill

YOUR husband offered to pay the full total after the vouchers, so it’s his problem really? No point blaming the scary lady or ranting online when it’s your husband that wanted to subsidise their meal

You’re angry that you have a £40 meal to pay off from your credit card, but again you’re an adult and you need to take responsibility for your actions. You could have declined the invite or split the bill if you were having to pay for meals on credit and can’t afford it?

P.s. everyone saying they should have split the vouchers- you do realise you have to pay for the vouchers? why should they split vouchers they've paid for?