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AIBU?

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Original poster

Splitting restaurant bill

974 replies

idontwanttodothisanymore · 06/11/2017 14:37

I’m one of those people who like to pay for just my meal. I hate splitting the bill by how many people there are.

Me and DH went out with his friend and his OH the other day.

Mine and DH meal came to: £31.57
I had pizza and water, he had chicken and one coke.
DH friend and OH meal came to: £49.78
They had ribs, lasagne, chips and 3 drinks.

Final bill was £81.75
DH friend had two vouchers for £20 off, so they both used that.

Then the OH said we could pay the rest. So we ended up paying £41.75 - £10 more than our meal!!!

I had never met her before and was completely shocked that she wanted us to split by 4 when our meal was cheaper.
She was very intimidating anyway so I didn’t want to say anything.

We were going to do 2 bills but the waiter was all flustered so we said don’t bother. Regretting it now!

I know it’s only £10 but our circumstances are so different. They both work and she has one child - he works full time and she works part time. Whereas DH works part time (and overtime if there is any) but I don’t (I had to leave my job due to medically issues), and we have 2 children.

DH doesn’t think I should be annoyed but I really am!
AIBU to be annoyed?

I don’t think I’ll ever see her again anyway, I didn’t get a good vibe from her and she’s just not my kind of person at all.

OP posts:
CherryChasingDotMuncher · 08/11/2017 17:03

It would be strange to call someone who ate an ‘actual’ meal a greedy scrounger, every human eats meals surely?

PandorasXbox · 08/11/2017 17:08

Bit of smugness going on I see. There’s nothing wrong with not finding someone who pays the exact price for their meal very appealing. I find it a huge turn off.

Dragonglass · 08/11/2017 17:27

I have eaten out with various groups of friends over the years. We have never split the bill! Never even discussed it. We have always automatically paid for what we had plus a tip. So it is not convention to split.
Funnily enough we have still managed to enjoy the evening. I find it disgusting that some posters have said that you shouldn't go out if you can only afford to pay for yourself. I would prefer to spend time with friends than expect them to sit at home or stay at home myself.

Rebeccaslicker · 08/11/2017 17:28

It definitely shows that birds of a feather must flock together!

lightsON111 · 08/11/2017 17:36

luckily the token stinge in our group appears to have starved to death (no nutrients in water!!)

I know I said I wouldn't post again, but this quote ^ - I'm not sure if it's serious (I mean who knows on here!!!) but water is one of the best things to put in our bodies. There's nothing wrong with drinking lots of water and actually we wouldn't last long without it as I'm sure everyone knows!

BatShite · 08/11/2017 17:36

I find it disgusting that some posters have said that you shouldn't go out if you can only afford to pay for yourself.

Yeah this has been an odd opinion throughout the thread that seems to have been repeated a lot. Basically sounding a lot like, if you are on a budget you should not go out for meals with friends.

I don't get why this is an issue for anyone really. If someone wants to pay for their own, fine. if someone prefers to split the bill equally, also fine. I genuinely do not see how either of these positions would ever be a problem, for anyone?

BlueberryIce · 08/11/2017 17:49

“I find it disgusting that some posters have said that you shouldn't go out if you can only afford to pay for yourself.

Yeah this has been an odd opinion throughout the thread that seems to have been repeated a lot. Basically sounding a lot like, if you are on a budget you should not go out for meals with friends.”

Didn’t most people just mean to apply a bit of common sense? Eg if you’re really strapped for cash it’s probably unwise to accept an invite to a Michelin star restaurant?

BatShite · 08/11/2017 19:11

Didn’t most people just mean to apply a bit of common sense? Eg if you’re really strapped for cash it’s probably unwise to accept an invite to a Michelin star restaurant?

That would be a good point, and I don't think anyone on a budget would be accepting an invite to a michelin star place to start with, but thats definitely not how it came across.

The way I took the posts was that if you were not able to eat and drink without any thought for how much it would cost, you should not be going in the first place. Especially given the same posters who were making this point, were saying that those who wish to pay for their own items are scrooges, miseries, penny pinchers, etc.

I wouldn't say someone else should have to factor in that other people may spend more than them. To if they should be going to the meal. As an example lets say someone has worked out they have 40 quid spare and have been invited to somewhere they know they can get a meal and a couple of drinks for 30. Which would have enough for a decent sized tip too. I genuinely do not see why this person who is budgeting for this should have to factor in that their friends may order a lot more than them, and that their 'share' might end up being 50 or 60 instead. It came across as, you should only go out with friends if you have a lot of spare cash. if I am explaining myself correctly here.

Of course I may well have read them wrong. They may well have meant it would be unwise to go to somewhere with an average cost of 80 per meal if you only have 40 to spare. But surely this would go without saying anyway?

Definitely came across as if you have to budget, don't go. Happy to be told I picked up on this wrong though. Infact would rather be told that this wasn't what was actually meant as if it was what was meant, then I do find that pretty harsh on those with lower incomes who may well have to save for a few weeks just to go on a night out.

Bluntness100 · 08/11/2017 19:21

Rebecca the only person who has used the term ‘free loader’ is bluntness

Say what now? Confused. Read the thread, i was quoting others, there are quite a few pages of people ranting on about “scroungers” and “freeloaders”

Splitting restaurant bill
lightsON111 · 08/11/2017 19:23

That's how I took it too batshite.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 08/11/2017 19:25

Oh FFS.

She accused other posters of using the term free loader. Only you have used that term, it doesn’t matter that you were quoting others (not that you were as no one else has said it).

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 08/11/2017 19:26

Oh and yes I think you are correct Batshite in what you say!

Bluntness100 · 08/11/2017 19:30

Only you have used that term, it doesn’t matter that you were quoting others (not that you were as no one else has said it)

What? There is a whole major conversation on this thread about how it’s offensive and so many people were posting it.

It this instance, the term “read the thread” really is apt. 😂

dustarr73 · 08/11/2017 19:33

If you only have €30 I think it's fine to just pay for your own.Its also fine to split the bill if and only if everyone agrees to it.

Like the people ordering loads and wanting to split the bill happens.
As well as the person who only orders the bare amount but forgets the 3rd or 4th coke they had.Or a tip.
Things happen in both camps.

You have to take things like this as one at a time thing.There are no hard and fast rule.

43percentburnt · 08/11/2017 19:34

I don't find paying for your own meal joyless - admittedly it's easier to set up a seperate tab. People's circumstances change over time and they, understandably, may not share their financial situation. I would hate for a friend who is on a trainee wage or studying or having a hard time to subsidise my meal - this may mean we couldn't go out as a group as they may prefer to decline the invite.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 08/11/2017 19:49

My mistake. 1 person uses it to refer to people who split the bill equally. You guys really have been the victims of this thread .

On the bright side I can add this thread to the list of ‘totally bat shit crazy’ threads. I love doing that. The responses on this thread defy logic! To say you’re generous if you pay for less than what you consumed, and others are “tight as a ducks arse” for paying AT LEAST for what they consumed, blows my mind.

chestylarue52 · 08/11/2017 20:52

At the beginning of the meal

"Waiter, can we have separate bills please, I'm watching my outgoings this month"

Smile

Its really not difficult

Rebeccaslicker · 08/11/2017 21:25

Why on earth would you tell the waiter you're short this month?! That would just embarrass him/her plus I suspect they'd have a severe case of not giving a fuck.

If you're short, tell your friends - I'd a million times go somewhere cheaper or pay for someone than have them sitting down the end of the table choosing the cheapest items!

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 08/11/2017 21:39

Why on earth would you tell the waiter you're short this month?! That would just embarrass him/her plus I suspect they'd have a severe case of not giving a fuck

Lol, exactly! That would be a really weird thing to tell a waiter Confused

Bluntness100 · 08/11/2017 22:16

Waiter, can we have separate bills please

And so we come full circle, as this where the thread started.why not not just say before ordering,,,waiter can we have seperate bills please.

And cherry, just read the thread, really stop embarrassing yourself and read it.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 08/11/2017 22:19

I have bluntness. Not in the least bit embarrassed but thank you for thinking of me 😘

chestylarue52 · 08/11/2017 22:24

You're not telling the waiter are you, you're telling whoever you're dining with. That you're having seperate bills. Because you're watching your outgoings. Which is true. I've never been ashamed of budgeting, I don't see why this is even difficult or a problem or a thread.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 08/11/2017 22:25

I think telling your table that you’re ‘watching your outgoings’ would be a very odd thing to say. Just say to the waiter ‘separate bills please’. No reason/excuse necessary.

Quartz2208 · 08/11/2017 23:07

Nowadays it's all computerised so it's hardly difficult to pay separately

TheDowagerCuntess · 08/11/2017 23:29

"Waiter, can we have separate bills please, I'm watching my outgoings this month"

Christ. Just when you think it can't get any worse. Grin

Its really not difficult

It really is, if this isn't something you'd ever say to a friend in a social situation, let alone an utter random who couldn't give a flying one about your financials.

Way to kill the vibe stone dead, never to be resuscitated again.