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AIBU?

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Original poster

Splitting restaurant bill

974 replies

idontwanttodothisanymore · 06/11/2017 14:37

I’m one of those people who like to pay for just my meal. I hate splitting the bill by how many people there are.

Me and DH went out with his friend and his OH the other day.

Mine and DH meal came to: £31.57
I had pizza and water, he had chicken and one coke.
DH friend and OH meal came to: £49.78
They had ribs, lasagne, chips and 3 drinks.

Final bill was £81.75
DH friend had two vouchers for £20 off, so they both used that.

Then the OH said we could pay the rest. So we ended up paying £41.75 - £10 more than our meal!!!

I had never met her before and was completely shocked that she wanted us to split by 4 when our meal was cheaper.
She was very intimidating anyway so I didn’t want to say anything.

We were going to do 2 bills but the waiter was all flustered so we said don’t bother. Regretting it now!

I know it’s only £10 but our circumstances are so different. They both work and she has one child - he works full time and she works part time. Whereas DH works part time (and overtime if there is any) but I don’t (I had to leave my job due to medically issues), and we have 2 children.

DH doesn’t think I should be annoyed but I really am!
AIBU to be annoyed?

I don’t think I’ll ever see her again anyway, I didn’t get a good vibe from her and she’s just not my kind of person at all.

OP posts:
Rebeccaslicker · 08/11/2017 15:25

Correction - you've never met a single person who has told you to your face that they find your bill splitting offensive.

Who knows what they actually think of it?

lightsON111 · 08/11/2017 15:34

Well apparently lights we should be clamouring to be friends with people who want us to fork out £50 too much, they’re such amazing friends. Sadly I suspect you and I will be pressing our noses up against the window of Pizza Express in envy as they won’t let us in their special club

Us after realising we shouldn't be so brazen as to eat out and should stay home with our tin of tomato soup!

Splitting restaurant bill
Rebeccaslicker · 08/11/2017 15:35

make sure you take 50p with you for the electricity or gas needed to heat it up!

Originalfoogirl · 08/11/2017 15:42

Just a question on splitters v squeezers. Does it not make a difference who you are out with? So, if i’m out with friends or family who I know are at about the same money level as me I’ll assume it’s a split bill. If i’m with a group who I know aren’t, or if I don’t know, i’ll suggest paying for our own?

I was at a work night out where at the end, everyone paid separately by card. 9 of us at the table, I felt really sorry for the waiter, but apparently it’s the done thing where we were.

Originalfoogirl · 08/11/2017 15:45

Or there is the third option which happens sometime, the bill plate is passed round the table and folk add to it, counted at the end. If it’s short (which only happened a couple of times) there is always someone happy to throw in extra. That way no-one is shown up as a skinflint.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 08/11/2017 15:56

Crivens... this is still rumbling on...

I wonder if this thread is so long because we're talking at cross purposes, using our own references? What I mean is that:

Poster A: Group of colleagues, different incomes, wanting to pay for what they've had given the disparity in ordering costs.

Poster B: Group of friends, earning around the same or just routinely wiling to split the bill regardless of what's been ordered; either as couples or individually.

Poster C: Eats out with family mostly where the arrangement is either to pay the whole bill or for bill to be paid 'per nuclear family' or excluding kids or whatever... but it's established.

I'm pretty sure that most of us fit within one or more of those scenarios and they're different. And that's fine. The OP would fit into 'Poster A' as these aren't a friendship group, just two couples where half of each are not particular friends.

So, that being the case, why are posters intent on shoehorning OP into another scenario where she doesn't belong? Why is there such a need to sneer when the scenarios really aren't 'like for like'?

I don't eat out in groups and wouldn't choose to. I prefer one-on-one eating out with close friends or family. We don't split bills, we pay in turns. I don't care what other people do.

OP... if you're still hanging on in there. YANBU. Be upfront so that waiting staff can split bills as needed in future.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 08/11/2017 15:57

x-posted with Originalfoogirl

lightsON111 · 08/11/2017 16:02

make sure you take 50p with you for the electricity or gas needed to heat it up!

Not sure I can stretch to 50p but will give it a go Grin

Rebeccaslicker · 08/11/2017 16:11

Well, cherry may be able to give you change. She wouldn't want you subsidising her EDF bill Wink

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 08/11/2017 16:23

Correction - you've never met a single person who has told you to your face that they find your bill splitting offensive.

Quite. And you equally don’t know if everyone at the table is honestly happy splitting the bill.

I think there’s been language crossed wires BTW. people are using ‘splitting’ in different ways, I mean split equally. But others are using ‘splitting’ to mean pay for their own. Which looks a bit confusing!

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 08/11/2017 16:29

Just a question on splitters v squeezers. Does it not make a difference who you are out with? So, if i’m out with friends or family who I know are at about the same money level as me I’ll assume it’s a split bill. If i’m with a group who I know aren’t, or if I don’t know, i’ll suggest paying for our own?

Yes! I eat with some friends where we all split equally, and some where we pay our own (yes believe it or not I do have friends Wink). For work nights out it’s usually pay your own way although at my work they used to split it. For family it’s usually split or DH and I treat (the favour isn’t returned but meh).

Tippz · 08/11/2017 16:43

@Cherry and @Lights on and @lying why are you wasting your time conversing with, and explaining yourself, to the posters on this thread, who are taking the piss, and taking great pleasure in mocking and berating people who prefer to pay for their own meal, and don't wish to split the bill. (Usually because they are a bit broke, or they are very light eaters.)

All I have seen is the 'I prefer to split the bill' brigade be nasty and derogatory and spiteful towards anyone who doesn't think like them, and trying to make them feel small and stupid. Whilst LOL-ing and piss-taking, and talking down to people who prefer to pay for their own, by calling them mean, tight, boring, miserable, sad, yada yada.

All this says more about them really.

There are some very ugly people on this thread. Mocking and taking the piss out of people who are not very well off financially, or who are very light eaters, and prefer not to subsidise people who have spent more than 3 times more than them.

They should be ashamed of themselves. What utterly despicable attitudes.

I wouldn't waste another SECOND on responding to these odious individuals. I'm not!

Rebeccaslicker · 08/11/2017 16:48

Ah tippz - did you manage to miss all the charming posts about fucking free loaders?

Maybe you should read the thread?

lightsON111 · 08/11/2017 16:50

@Tippz you're absolutely right tbh, and I did think this morning why bother, as they clearly have it in their heads that anyone wanting or only able to pay for their own food is all of those names you said :(

I just thought in the end better to take the piss out of myself rather than try to convince people I'm not what they think! But I agree, there's no point so will bow out now, and hope that people have taken from this that it's not actually fun having to eat out on a budget - yes there have been one or two posters who are skint as well but like to split - I would have thought they then might understand what it's like.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 08/11/2017 16:50

I don't know why, Tippz, you make a really good point. I think I just wanted to back the OP up because she was getting a pasting from the get-go.

I hope she's not reading the thread now, it's just become a competitive spite-fest with a few overbearing loudmouths. I bet they're fun to be out with!

I was going to go and take my nail varnish off... I shall do that now, a far better use of my time, but I wholeheartedly agree with your post and I'll give the thread a swerve now.

CoughLaughFart · 08/11/2017 16:51

*Correction - you've never met a single person who has told you to your face that they find your bill splitting offensive.

Who knows what they actually think of it?*

By that token all your friends could be saying ‘Bloody hell, I hope Rebecca’s not coming tonight - I’m sick of paying for her dinner’ behind your back.

lightsON111 · 08/11/2017 16:52

I should say actually - it IS fun because it's the company that makes it fun, but sometimes it would be nice to be able to order anything off the menu and not even glance at the price.

CoughLaughFart · 08/11/2017 16:55

I'd still rather stab myself in the hand with a fork than fuss around saying, "ooh mine was only £20"!

You can borrow my fork.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 08/11/2017 16:57

Rebecca the only person who has used the term ‘free loader’ is bluntness, who is on ‘your side’, and yourself.

But I agree with Tippz, tired of this ridiculousness and now bowing out, it’s pathetic!

OtterInDisgrace · 08/11/2017 16:59

What Tippz said, this in particular-

All I have seen is the 'I prefer to split the bill' brigade be nasty and derogatory and spiteful towards anyone who doesn't think like them, and trying to make them feel small and stupid. Whilst LOL-ing and piss-taking, and talking down to people who prefer to pay for their own, by calling them mean, tight, boring, miserable, sad, yada yada.

They’re also very keen on saying how they wouldn’t want to go for dinner with the ‘misers’. I should think that would suit everyone as who would want to dine with such unpleasant people?

Tippz · 08/11/2017 16:59

Good for you folks. Smile Don't give them the pleasure of responding. Same message to the OP, and anyone else who has been 'got at' by these individuals.

As for the negative comments made by people towards the bill splitters; the very few there were, were purely in response to the nasty shit aimed at people who prefer to pay for their own.

hotbutteredcrumpetsandtea · 08/11/2017 17:00

nd taking great pleasure in mocking and berating people who prefer to pay for their own meal, and don't wish to split the bill

Nah, we're only mocking those who flounce and whine and call people who eat an actual meal "greedy scrounging bastards".

LagunaBubbles · 08/11/2017 17:01

Ah tippz - did you manage to miss all the charming posts about fucking free loaders?

Havent seen anyone who prefers to pay for their own food call anyone a freeloader? Confused

Whataboutmeee · 08/11/2017 17:02

Agree with tippz. Tbh I wouldn't want to share a meal with the few overbearing and forceful people taking over this thread making others feel uncomfortable with their mocking, no matter who was paying.

PiffleandWiffle · 08/11/2017 17:03

I think Bluntness had it spot on TBH, luckily the token stinge in our group appears to have starved to death (no nutrients in water!!) so it's not something that happens in my world any more...

It does make me want to go out for a nice meal & many drinks with some mates though so thank you kindly OP, I'm off to round up a few "Splitters" for a good time......