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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Splitting restaurant bill

974 replies

idontwanttodothisanymore · 06/11/2017 14:37

I’m one of those people who like to pay for just my meal. I hate splitting the bill by how many people there are.

Me and DH went out with his friend and his OH the other day.

Mine and DH meal came to: £31.57
I had pizza and water, he had chicken and one coke.
DH friend and OH meal came to: £49.78
They had ribs, lasagne, chips and 3 drinks.

Final bill was £81.75
DH friend had two vouchers for £20 off, so they both used that.

Then the OH said we could pay the rest. So we ended up paying £41.75 - £10 more than our meal!!!

I had never met her before and was completely shocked that she wanted us to split by 4 when our meal was cheaper.
She was very intimidating anyway so I didn’t want to say anything.

We were going to do 2 bills but the waiter was all flustered so we said don’t bother. Regretting it now!

I know it’s only £10 but our circumstances are so different. They both work and she has one child - he works full time and she works part time. Whereas DH works part time (and overtime if there is any) but I don’t (I had to leave my job due to medically issues), and we have 2 children.

DH doesn’t think I should be annoyed but I really am!
AIBU to be annoyed?

I don’t think I’ll ever see her again anyway, I didn’t get a good vibe from her and she’s just not my kind of person at all.

OP posts:
PiffleandWiffle · 08/11/2017 13:13

"Which makes me assume they can't add up"

This made me laugh as it's an Itemiser that f*cked the calculation up!!

And that's why it's easier to split equally - moaning buggers who can't even do the math to pay their bit properly & thus cause chaos for the people that just want to pay & carry on with a fun night out....

itsasecret1 · 08/11/2017 13:19

I think its really stingy when people calculate the exact amount they 'ate' and only pay that, Just split - life's too short.

sinceyouask · 08/11/2017 13:25

I find it far more stingy to expect others to subsidise your meal.

cambodianfoxhound · 08/11/2017 13:27

Don’t pretend you are trying to protect the poor from your excesses.

Well said! Please at least be honest. You primary goal and incentive is to protect yourself. Making out it is to protect others is disingenuous and you know it.

PanGalaticGargleBlaster · 08/11/2017 13:31

This thread shows why a reality tv show based on a bunch of random couples going out for dinner together at a midrange restaurant is begging to be made. Awesome car crash potential.

lightsON111 · 08/11/2017 13:31

Well yes I'm trying to protect myself because I bloody well am 'the poor'! Grin

Bluntness100 · 08/11/2017 13:40

I think there is a valid point here (buried in amongst all the “greedy fuckers v miserable bastards” bun fight), and that’s on language.

The splitters call it sharing. Which is a nice word. The pay your own crowd call it subsidising others. Which isn’t so nice really.

I don’t believe for a moment the splitters are consuming vastly more than their friends and trying to stitch theit mates up for a few quid, those who do would be the exception to the rule, splitters it seems tend to eat out with like minded people. Validated by all the “we order fairly the same and it works out in time”

I do believe the pay your own crowd are consuming less than their friendship group, indicating they don’t tend to socialise with people like themselves, they tend to socialise with the splitters it seems. Validated by the fact they keep going on about how everyone eats and drinks more than them and they would have to subsidise them if they split the bill.

I’m guessing a bunch of folks having one course and a glass of water will have a very quick meal and maybe not everyone’s idea of fun, so they tend not to gravitate to each other, they gravitate to the people who will make an evening of it, either that or there are many more splitters in society so hard for them to find people like them.

dinahmorris · 08/11/2017 13:58

I find it far more stingy to expect others to subsidise your meal.

Almost by definition, in half of the instances a splitter will pay MORE than their meal cost, thus "subsidising" others. Some of us are happy with that. I'd rather pay a couple of quid more EVERY time than start itemising.

None of my family or friends take the piss though. If someone has ordered something super expensive, or someone else isn't drinking that is taken in to account. I suppose if my friends weren't like that I might start to re-think my approach (or possibly find new friends).

Rebeccaslicker · 08/11/2017 14:00

I wish I had time to do a poll, but we do seem to have far more splitters than squeezers which helps keep up my faith in humanity!

dinahmorris · 08/11/2017 14:01

*by taken in to account I mean that the person ordering a lot will chuck in extra (often covering the tip) or the person in charge of calculating the split (often me) will say "it is X for the drinkers and Y for the non-drinkers".

hotbutteredcrumpetsandtea · 08/11/2017 14:01

Not sure if you’re being obtuse. People have said it is distressing or embarrassing to calculate bills. Which makes me assume they can’t add up

Kinda ironic that you can't divide 6 by 3, isn't it? Are you sure you're always working out your bill properly in your head? Or are your friends getting sick of "subsidising" you?

expatinscotland · 08/11/2017 14:08

Spot on, Bluntness.

expatinscotland · 08/11/2017 14:09

'It's the constant being on the look out for being shafted that gets me, the suspicion, ensuring you don't give a penny more than you owe, god forbid that you may "subsidise" a friend. The OP is dripping with this attitude- I really don't like that. And thankfully my friends and family are like rebecca which is no accident I think grin'

Same! I can't say I've gone out (other than work) with a toast and tap water crowd. Not my bag.

Urubu · 08/11/2017 14:14

Interesting analysis Bluntness100

Urubu · 08/11/2017 14:19

And if I might add, I also think that the splitters don't check and/or memorize how mich everything they order costs. So when the bill comes they feel it is fair to split.
Whereas the pay your own know how much their meal was so are aware of the fact that they are asked to pay more (or less!).

I'm a splitter, and I can honestly say most of the time I couldn't say how much were the things I ordered. I might have a rough idea based on the restaurant's price range but that's it. Also, I rarely choose the wine so wouldn't know the price - and for soft drinks I would just order the one I like without checking the menu so no idea of the price either.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 08/11/2017 14:39

You've said very clearly you don't split the bill because you won't subsidise others

You're the one ordering tap water and pasta in tomato sauce and bitching about the freeloaders.

Actually I said very clearly I don’t split the bill because I like to eat like a king and don’t want others subsidising me. But you carry on making stuff up if it makes you feel better 🙄

And as someone sad earlier, water is something people like to drink, not sure why this offends people?

Well you know what they say. If there isn't a weirdo in your group... it's you!!

ODFOD. You have been beyond snide and rude, I am only very grateful I don’t know anyone as vile and bitchy as you.

You lot carry on overcharging your friends if it makes you happy. No skin of my nose!

This made me laugh as it's an Itemiser that fcked the calculation up!!*

Erm you do realise this didn’t happen IRL?

Well said! Please at least be honest. You primary goal and incentive is to protect yourself. Making out it is to protect others is disingenuous and you know it.

Why are you making stuff up? I’ve said ages ago I like to order as I like therefore why have you basically gone ‘nah, don’t believe you, this is what you actually do’?

This thread is very odd!

No one has yet answered - why should people having less than you pay money towards your meal? And how does his make them tight? A proper answer please rather than “friends share” or some such shite

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 08/11/2017 14:41

I wish I had time to do a poll, but we do seem to have far more splitters than squeezers which helps keep up my faith in humanit
You have 2 people backing you up, don’t get too excited.

hotbutteredcrumpetsandtea · 08/11/2017 14:43

There are 670 messages and a great number of them are backing her up, but then your maths skills are not the greatest. It's a lot more than 2 though.....

lightsON111 · 08/11/2017 14:44

It's the constant being on the look out for being shafted that gets me, the suspicion, ensuring you don't give a penny more than you owe, god forbid that you may "subsidise" a friend.

Once again, I don't think people on here are talking about pennies or even a few quid, it's when you literally have a set amount to go out with and order accordingly, and someone else has double or triple that and you are expected to pay the difference - it's not always possible unfortunately.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 08/11/2017 14:45

It's the constant being on the look out for being shafted that gets me, the suspicion, ensuring you don't give a penny more than you owe, god forbid that you may "subsidise" a friend

I think people like that are few and far between. Half the time it’s just common sense - you don’t have to scrutinise a menu to know that you’re paying over the odds when you’ve had pasta and a lemonade and you’re being asked to stump up £60.

That’s very different from someone who pipes up “Actually I’m just putting £20 in” when everyone has roughly had the same and the bill is about £21 split evenly.

I’ve never encountered the latter, but I’ve witnessed the former a few times!

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 08/11/2017 14:47

Yeah not 670 separate posters though Hmm

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 08/11/2017 14:53

Well apparently lights we should be clamouring to be friends with people who want us to fork out £50 too much, they’re such amazing friends. Sadly I suspect you and I will be pressing our noses up against the window of Pizza Express in envy as they won’t let us in their special club 😭

There’s only once I’ve objected to CF overcharging me and that’s my Prezzo story upthread!

Rebeccaslicker · 08/11/2017 14:53

Ahahahaha you really do miss tone, don't you, cherry? Haven't you heard that famous saying?! It's a silly light hearted comment but nooooo, you have to take it to heart.

Why do you keep accusing other posters of "making stuff up"? They are responding to you. This is how you come across. It's how your posts paint you. Don't like it? Maybe rethink how you come across.

You're never going to get the explanation you've had numerous times. Because your basic understanding is flawed and based on flawed assumptions of people always doing the same things.

lightsON111 · 08/11/2017 14:53

I’ve never encountered the latter, but I’ve witnessed the former a few times!

Same here unfortunately Cherry!!

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 08/11/2017 15:08

I’m sure you think you’re very funny Rebecca. Good for you Grin

Why do you keep accusing other posters of "making stuff up"?

Because they are. HTH. I’ve been accused of being a ‘tomato salad and water’ person keeping my beady eye on the menu. I’ve stated that I’m not, I don’t like other people subsiding my food. Yet people have gone on to say I’m out to be mean to my friends. That is making stuff up.

You're never going to get the explanation you've had numerous times. Because your basic understanding is flawed and based on flawed assumptions of people always doing the same things.

I get it, I just don’t agree with it. Maybe sometimes do ‘balance things out’, but to me it’s far easier just to do a 3 seconds calculation of what you’ve had and put in what you owe. No need to ever worry about things balancing out or not.

I’ve never met a single person offended by other people paying for what they had rather than equal splitting. I’ve only ever seen his as a simple transaction with no judgement. I’d be a bit Hmm at someone who insisted another person pays for more than what they had, when they clearly don’t want to. Oh well, different strokes different folks.