Splitting restaurant bill

[idontwanttodothisanymore]

I’m one of those people who like to pay for just my meal. I hate splitting the bill by how many people there are.

Me and DH went out with his friend and his OH the other day.

Mine and DH meal came to: £31.57
I had pizza and water, he had chicken and one coke.
DH friend and OH meal came to: £49.78
They had ribs, lasagne, chips and 3 drinks.

Final bill was £81.75
DH friend had two vouchers for £20 off, so they both used that.

Then the OH said we could pay the rest. So we ended up paying £41.75 - £10 more than our meal!!!

I had never met her before and was completely shocked that she wanted us to split by 4 when our meal was cheaper.
She was very intimidating anyway so I didn’t want to say anything.

We were going to do 2 bills but the waiter was all flustered so we said don’t bother. Regretting it now!

I know it’s only £10 but our circumstances are so different. They both work and she has one child - he works full time and she works part time. Whereas DH works part time (and overtime if there is any) but I don’t (I had to leave my job due to medically issues), and we have 2 children.

DH doesn’t think I should be annoyed but I really am!
AIBU to be annoyed?

I don’t think I’ll ever see her again anyway, I didn’t get a good vibe from her and she’s just not my kind of person at all.

Can you imagine Jesus getting a calculator out at the last supper? Judas the bastard ordered the good wine and the artisan bread.

He'd be welcomed. We could order free tap water, and then JC could change it into wine. I'd be happy to subsidise him an extra pudding.

But why wouldn't they have "paid the minimum"

Really?! You think that people are paying the minimum if they have more than others and split the bill?

Ok so as an example

A has a starter, main course, dessert and wine. The value of their food and drink is £50

B has a starter , main course and wine. The value of their food and drink is £40

C has a main course and one coke (fucking miser that she is ) Value of their food and drink is £25

Bill comes to £115

If they split the bill, excluding tip etc everyone pays £38.

So A and B haven’t paid the minimum for what their food cost. C pays £13 above what she consumed to subsidise what he friends were eating and drinking

Simples!

A meal for five pounds? Not only does that have to be the worst quality possible, what on earth can you be eating for that money, and how many people had to be underpaid and exploited for you to get such cheap food?

Actually, they are known as "loss leaders" It is a well known tactic in restaurants to get diners in on slow nights to cover the costs of running the business, and as it usually excludes drinks or sides, starters or desserts, the opportunity to up-sell is immense. The staff in ALL restaurants are on low wages no matter if you pay £5 or £25 for your main meal. Ditto, the quality of ingredients generally is not dictated by the price of your dish. Only if you are eating in very high end restaurants, will you find the quality of food varies greatly. As serving food is their sole reason for being in business, it does them no good in the long term to serve poor quality. Most of the chains who have these sorts of deals benefit from bulk supply agreements which keeps costs down.

Simples

Could you now explain the six people each paying a third thing?

Six people each pay one third of the cost of all the starters? Would that not result in the starters being paid for twice? That is to say, six thirds?

Doh! I am wrong

Louder sigh.

As you like assumptions, I am assuming that the C stands for Cherrychasingdotmuncher...

If C is the type of person who calculates beadily what everyone has spent, she can see what happens the next time. Chances are this time B will be driving and C will get stuck into the gavi di gavi and it will be B who is paying more. This time maybe B "subsidises" C's meal.

If after a few times it is always the same then C has to ask herself whether she wants to go - and whether she makes A and B feel awkward - and whether she should suggest something more suitable to her taste and budget.

What you're missing cherry is that B is also subsidising A. And B doesnt care because they had a lovely relaxed night.

Cringy C has made them all check what they've eaten, mentally calculate and split. And for many of us that would put a huge dampener on the night

Spot on Rebacca

Another spot on Rebecca! Let's all go for a nice meal

Well it depends bubble and Cambodian. I mean, I am vegetarian, so I don't want us going anywhere that sells that expensive meat stuff...

£41-75 for chicken, pizza, coke and water!
I’d be horrified

Wow cherry you really are an unpleasant and patronising piece of work, aren't you?! You "assume" people can't add up?

Ha, the hypocrisy is strong in this one! Are you fucking kidding me? You’ve been extremely rude to anyone who doesn’t agree with you and wielded personal insults.

I know you can’t add up as you thought that people who had more than others, then split the bill, we’re at least paying for what they consumed.

I'm not "making stuff up"

You kind of are. You brought a bizarre Christmas present example into it as a “haha I bet you’re AWFUL at Christmas way”. And I’m the unpleasant one 🙄

I don't give a flying fuck if I've ended up paying a fiver towards my friend's dinner

Neither do I. £5 (to me) isn’t a lot. My point is, you wouldn’t give a fuck if someone contributed more to the bill because you had more than them. I would give a flying fuck, I’d be mortified at people contributing money to food that I are.

As you like assumptions, I am assuming that the C stands for Cherrychasingdotmuncher

Or, you know, it’s next in the alphabet.

Do you concede though that A and B have NOT paid the minimum for their food? If I was A or B IRL I’d never let C fork out more. I’m not a shit mate though. If you let this happens to your friends, don’t complain at being called cheeky.

And B doesnt care because they had a lovely relaxed night

You know it’s made up right? The example was to explain to rebecca who though all bill splitters pay for what they eat.

Wow some really nasty posts on here. I'll never understand why people who have a set budget deserve to be called tight, miserly, hunched etc. And as another poster said, there's no angst whenever I go out to eat, it's about the company and being there with people, not feeling I should stay home out of the way because I've only got £20 for the night.

I could understand the name calling if people wanting to pay for their own were trying to get out of paying for it in any way but in what world is it mean to eat according to whatever money you physically have?!

Cringy C has made them all check what they've eaten, mentally calculate and split. And for many of us that would put a huge dampener on the night

So you couldn’t pay less for your food than it cost? How cringey! Some of you sound truly awful to suggest that you’re so generous to allow other people to fork out for food you have eaten.

Once again for the hard of thinking in the back - hosting and gift giving is not he same. The onus is on the giver/hoster to provide something within their budget. Apparently when eating out, this doesn’t apply

Other posters pointed out how daft your assumption was too. Seriously. You assume that people can't do basic maths and then wonder why you get called patronising?

Let's try it in short sentences. On. One. Occasion. Someone. Might. Get. More. But. This. Balances. Out. Over. Time. With. Friends. As. Everyone. Orders. Differently. Each. Time. And. Usually. The. Meals. Aren't. That. Different. Anyway.

Instead of grasping this concept, you seem to seize on the weird idea that everyone has the same every time and so it's always the same people who benefit. Unless you're sheldon cooper, who orders the same thing every time they go out?! And I know you're not sheldon cooper, as he can divide 3 by 6.

As I said above, I don't drink much and I'm veggie. I also dislike nearly all puddings. So it is very seldom me that inflates the bill. I'd still rather stab myself in the hand with a fork than fuss around saying, "ooh mine was only £20"!

Yep. No way in a million years is someone who counts the pennies at dinner NOT going to try very hard to ensure that she doesn't "overspend" on presents!

"Cringy C has made them all check what they've eaten, mentally calculate and split. And for many of us that would put a huge dampener on the night

So you couldn’t pay less for your food than it cost? How cringey! Some of you sound truly awful to suggest that you’re so generous to allow other people to fork out for food you have eaten."

I don't even understand what you're saying now. This makes no sense

My conscience wouldn't allow me to sit back and allow others(possibly worse off than me) to pay more than they consumed to subsidise mine...I can't believe anyone thinks this is acceptable....

Let's try it in short sentences. On. One. Occasion. Someone. Might. Get. More. But. This. Balances. Out. Over. Time. With. Friends. As. Everyone. Orders. Differently. Each. Time. And. Usually. The. Meals. Aren't. That. Different. Anyway.

I was coming on to say that.Nobody orders teh same things all the time.Peoples circumstances change.And if you are in a group for a few years of course it evens out over time.

And its only the first time that op has been out with this couple.If it happened again ,of course pay seperately.But at least give people the benefit of the doubt.

It's the constant being on the look out for being shafted that gets me, the suspicion, ensuring you don't give a penny more than you owe, god forbid that you may "subsidise" a friend. The OP is dripping with this attitude- I really don't like that. And thankfully my friends and family are like rebecca which is no accident I think

I really don't understand the lack of empathy shown on this thread.

Lots of people seemingly get offended by being asked to share equally.

Lots of people seemingly get offended by being asked to split the bill depending on amounts consumed.

Neither of these viewpoints is objectively more or less 'valid' than the other.

I suspect that as with many things most people live in an echo chamber of some kind whereby they mostly eat out with people with a similar attitude.

On those occasions where we end up eat out with someone who holds different views, a lot of respect is called for.

Some of you might find that over time with friends it evens out. That is NOT the case in the two sets of groups I go out with. The men eat and drink twice as much as me for example every single time. I couldn't drink as much as them if I tried. Some of the women are heavy drinkers too and just order bottle after bottle of wine.

I have come to the conclusion that everyone's experiences are completely different judging from this thread.

Let’s try this one moe time.

That’s. Not. Always. The. Case. Why. Should. Someone. Else. Pay. A. Large. Amount. Towards. What. You. Have. Chosen. To. Eat. Or. Drink?

No way in a million years is someone who counts the pennies at dinner NOT going to try very hard to ensure that she doesn't "overspend" on presents

Now this is the ‘making stuff up’ I’m talking about. Where did I say I count pennies? What I said was - sometimes I split the bill, sometimes pay for my own. Both times is fine, but if we’re splitting I’ll speak up if people are being CF. And yes I do think having three courses + booze then expecting someone else who’s had a glass of pop + one course is being cheeky. Luckily it rarely happens because I don’t associate with weirdos. And I buy what I can afford re presents, as do others. As I’ve already said. I have no clue how much others spend on me, nor do I care.

My conscience wouldn't allow me to sit back and allow others(possibly worse off than me) to pay more than they consumed to subsidise mine...I can't believe anyone thinks this is acceptable....

Nor me. Apparently that makes us skin flints

"Today 12:58 CherryChasingDotMuncher

My conscience wouldn't allow me to sit back and allow others(possibly worse off than me) to pay more than they consumed to subsidise mine...I can't believe anyone thinks this is acceptable....

Nor me. Apparently that makes us skin flints hmm"

But this isn't the way it works for you, or the non splitters on the thread, is it?

You've said very clearly you don't split the bill because you won't subsidise others. You will never be the ones ordering steak and champagne and a big chocolate bombe.

You're the one ordering tap water and pasta in tomato sauce and bitching about the freeloaders.

Don't pretend you're desperately trying to protect the poor from your excesses

Well you know what they say. If there isn't a weirdo in your group... it's you!!