Splitting restaurant bill

[idontwanttodothisanymore]

I’m one of those people who like to pay for just my meal. I hate splitting the bill by how many people there are.

Me and DH went out with his friend and his OH the other day.

Mine and DH meal came to: £31.57
I had pizza and water, he had chicken and one coke.
DH friend and OH meal came to: £49.78
They had ribs, lasagne, chips and 3 drinks.

Final bill was £81.75
DH friend had two vouchers for £20 off, so they both used that.

Then the OH said we could pay the rest. So we ended up paying £41.75 - £10 more than our meal!!!

I had never met her before and was completely shocked that she wanted us to split by 4 when our meal was cheaper.
She was very intimidating anyway so I didn’t want to say anything.

We were going to do 2 bills but the waiter was all flustered so we said don’t bother. Regretting it now!

I know it’s only £10 but our circumstances are so different. They both work and she has one child - he works full time and she works part time. Whereas DH works part time (and overtime if there is any) but I don’t (I had to leave my job due to medically issues), and we have 2 children.

DH doesn’t think I should be annoyed but I really am!
AIBU to be annoyed?

I don’t think I’ll ever see her again anyway, I didn’t get a good vibe from her and she’s just not my kind of person at all.

Exactly. One of the reasons I don't drink alcohol is financial. For someone who wants to get tanked up at a meal, the overall cost is a hell of a lot more. Why should I subsidise that?

Oh absolutely, it makes a huge difference to the final bill. Yes so do soft drinks as has been mentioned, but I've never seen people sink diet coke after diet coke the way I've seen some people with their pints on a few nights out!!! Not judging btw - in better times I was the one knocking back the booze lol.

Except the other woman is NOT a scrounger, and you're being unneccessarily nasty about a complete stranger.

Assuming the OP is accurate, I disagree completely.

I’m one of those people who like to pay for just my meal. I hate splitting the bill by how many people there are

Going right back to the OP. That is a miserable way to live. Most people manage this sensibly - splitting the bill if everyone's had more or less the same, chucking an extra tenner in if you've had dessert and an extra glass of wine. In my circle of friend there is no drama, no passive aggressive posts and comments after the fact, nobody whipping out a calculator and working the bill out to the penny. That is what is normal for me and pretty much everyone else.

I certainly wouldn't want to go out with someone who insisted on only paying for what they'd had every single time. Thinking Wetherspoon's is great food isn't something I'd agree with either.

I disagree totally this woman is a scrounger. I also think it’s nasty to call her names.

She probably saw an 81 pounds bill, chucked in forty quid of vouchers, and assumed the op and her husband would pay other half as it was an even split and that was the norm.

She probably wasn’t counting who ate what from the sharing platter, or that they had one more drink than the other couple, or sitting counting up the small meal price differences, nor did she probably know the op and her husband were down to their last forty quid until pay day and couldnt afford it in the first place.

I’m guessing she’d be pretty horrified to know their twos meal and extra drink cost a whole tenner more in total than the op and her husbands meals and drinks and the op was online complaining about it.

As said, for me if anythjng, she was ptobably a little thoughtless rather than deliberately out to stiff the op and her husband for a few quid.

I have a relative who only ever wants a soft drink and one course - maybe a pudding if it's something light like sorbet.

Why would it be reasonable for her to subsidise the three courses and possible multiple bottles of wine that her friends drink?

I'm really surprised about the views on here, and can only think that quite a few of you know only too well that you are exploiting your friends with smaller appetites/lower alcohol consumption.

Going right back to the OP. That is a miserable way to live. Most people manage this sensibly - splitting the bill if everyone's had more or less the same, chucking an extra tenner in if you've had dessert and an extra glass of wine. In my circle of friend there is no drama, no passive aggressive posts and comments after the fact, nobody whipping out a calculator and working the bill out to the penny. That is what is normal for me and pretty much everyone else.

That's great, but we're discussing when someone abuses that. Then what? Complaining afterwards is a bit futile it's true - in retrospect the OP should have stood up for herself at the time.

I certainly wouldn't want to go out with someone who insisted on only paying for what they'd had every single time.

It's not particularly appealing, but it's far better than trying to rip others off.

Thinking Wetherspoon's is great food isn't something I'd agree with either.

Me neither. I don't like them in general.

The most miserable thing about the whole thread is the desperation to think everyone is after your money and trying fiddle you out of small amounts- she's a scronger! How can you let anyone else pay for your food? Grump grump. Well I don't think about it because it wouldn't occur to me a friend of mine is tight enough to be desperate to fiddle me out of £9.

I don't know what sort of vouchers they were but often they only count towards food so drinks and tip would be extra. They should have at least paid for their own drinks/tip and you pay the rest. You are both quite tight though really...

*I disagree totally this woman is a scrounger. I also think it’s nasty to call her names.

She probably saw an 81 pounds bill, chucked in forty quid of vouchers, and assumed the op and her husband would pay other half as it was an even split and that was the norm.

She probably wasn’t counting who ate what from the sharing platter, or that they had one more drink than the other couple, or sitting counting up the small meal price differences, nor did she probably know the op and her husband were down to their last forty quid until pay day and couldnt afford it in the first place.

I’m guessing she’d be pretty horrified to know their twos meal and extra drink cost a whole tenner more in total than the op and her husbands meals and drinks and the op was online complaining about it.

As said, for me if anythjng, she was ptobably a little thoughtless rather than deliberately out to stiff the op and her husband for a few quid.*

Yeah right. It's not rocket science.

The OP says herself she observed who ate what off the sharing platter. I'm sure the "scrounging" girlfriend is quite happy not to have to set eyes on OP again, either.

I bet if the other couple had said to OP and dh, "That was nice. Look, our treat this time. We must do it again!" OP would have skipped out of that restaurant. In my experience those who are very careful with their own money are more than happy to share everyone else's.

I don't see why those who wish to only pay for what they consumed (plus tip) are being made out to be totally awful and wanting everyone else to get the caculators out? Or causing huge issues?

Surely most would just work out roundabout and add on a tenner or so to the estimated total. Than work out the amount to the penny. Then, how is taking 40 quid off the total table bill such hard work?

Hell actually, even if someone did work it out exactly. Say they put down 32 quid. All you then need to do, is take 30 off the total? And split the rest equally?

Its also interesting that some posters seem to have noticed that when someone puts down only their share, they miss off a drink or something. How would you know this, if you weren't scrutinising the bill yourself? And even if they do miss off a drink..wheres the issue there given the rest of the group were expecting the splitter to pay in for their stuff. The cost of a drink is unlikely to 'break the bank? Surely? Same argument works both ways.

Also I should maybe point out, that on the occasions where I do only pay for my own its only been when one or two members of the group clearly take the piss. And that it always seems to be those same ones who take the piss who are leading the 'equal shares yeah? I also will request the bill seperate before anyone has consumed anything if there are people in the group I do not know well. As I have been stung for enough cash by someone (or a few people) who is not a friend but in the group going way OTT. If out with regular friends, obviously splitting totally is fine. When its fmaily, theres often a fight for who pays the total bill, nevermind how its split!

Hell actually, even if someone did work it out exactly. Say they put down 32 quid. All you then need to do, is take 30 off the total? And split the rest equally?

Or even...just thought of this. Allow the other person to pay for their share only. Then still split the total bill between you without any extra addition or sbtraction necessary, and just leave one big as tip by using that method. Given paying over the odds sems to be no issue, and service staff would be very appreciative

I'm really surprised about the views on here, and can only think that quite a few of you know only too well that you are exploiting your friends with smaller appetites/lower alcohol consumption

Read the thread, what people are saying is when the socialise they all tend to order within the same parameters, so it simoly evens out in time.

Yeah right. It's not rocket science

Of course not, but many of us, myself inc do not total up the cost of our meal and our friends meals when we go out to dinner together. I simply couldn’t tell you how much my meal cost or how much someone else’s did. It simply wouldn’t occur to me to do the math. And yeah yeah I get it makes me lucky.

However as above, we all order within thr same parameters. All have starters or not, all have sharing dishes, all order wine and water for thr table. So no it would not occur to me to sit and say my main course was seven pounds and my friends eight, and she had one more coke than me, so I should pay less, as her meal cost four pounds more than mine.

subtraction necessary, and just leave one big ass tip by using that method*

Alcohol consumption makes a big difference to the bill and that's something that I'm no longer willing to quietly sit by and stomach the bill. My extended family has a history of alcohol abuse ordering multiple bottles of wine and forgetting the one couple who are driving and can't afford a taxi when it comes to splitting the bill. We've recently begun only paying for what we eat and drink. My aunt was the one who actually instigated this. Ironically she is the one who quibbles over a quid here or there but is content to drink her own weight in wine!

Anyway, yanbu op but suggest you move on and tackle it up front next time. And leave the calculator in your pocket!

yanbu - I hate splitting the bill - why should you pay for their food.

Well if the op only wants to pay for what she had,its only right the other couple didnt use their vouchers on them.

And that other couple invited you out because you messed up op.They didnt hold you at gunpoint in the restaurant.You could have left if it wasnt to your liking.

So £9 is what you paid over,so basically half the price of the sharing plate.

So op if they had used the vouchers for the benefit of everybody,would you still have insisted on paying for your own.

Exactly Bluntness. In our social group usually we order similar stuff /eat and drink similar amounts so the difference of a few pounds is ignored and its all rounded up, unless an obvious large disparity like someone not drinking. Frankly I would rather be say £10 out to avoid joyless quibbling at the end.

Rather wonder if the world is divided into two, those happy to split the bill and those that see "scroungers" around every corner and won't pay a penny more than for what they have actually eaten or drunk. Both are fine as long as they socialise within their own like minded groups...

I still find the whole arguments over complex. Surely I can't be the only one who when ordering keeps a rough idea (rounded up) of how much I am spending to not overspend? It's not that hard to round up everything you had and throw in a generous tip. Even when splitting I have an idea of costs so I keep within my means. I must be a genius as no calculator needed!

This thread reminds me of an incident years ago at a friends birthday dinner - huge table of around 30 people eating tapas. The bill was given to the birthday girl who split it equally between everyone on the table (drinks had been bought at the bar so no issues there). We all paid, some using cards... a close friend who was sitting at the other end of the table confronted birthday friend about the bill, saying she wouldn’t pay the full amount as she had only eaten 2 mouthfuls. She completely refused to pay but it was too late to refund those who had paid by card (most people) and split the bill between 29 instead of 30. Also, most people thought she was pulling a fast one. The saddest part was that a friend of ours ended up putting in the money for her and she was quite skint at the time but didn’t want the evening to turn sour for birthday friend. I guess my point is, speak up earlier if you aren’t happy with the way a bill is split!

I dont understand splitting bills. I only pay for what i had. I budget accordingly its not my reaponsability in a large group of people to shoulder their costs. But then again i always order the cheapest stuff for my budget.

We always split if we go out in couples. I would find it ridiculously OTT cheap if my friends would demand separate bill over 10£ difference. You just cant have that attitude going out in groups.

There different circumstances though when paying for yourself just would be ok. For instance, im pregnant now and recently we we went to high tea with a bunch of other girlfriends. They all shared a couple bottles of champagne with it which upped up the bill quite a bit. So i paid only the high tea and they split the rest of the bill. I think thats fair.

I've just PMed you my Paypal address - please send me 10 pounds immediately. Also please could you give me contact details of everyone in your social circle too - all of whom apparently have no qualms about giving tenners to random scroungers.

But that's just it, I wouldn't (and haven't) resented giving a friend money - not lending, giving. I'm hardly going to lose any sleep over a tenner FFS.

If I was that strapped for cash in the first place I certainly wouldn't be eating out!

I once went out in a group of seven. I saved up to go out to dinner but i only ate dessert and tap water. Cost me £8ish. Everyone else had 3 courses and alcohol and expected me to chip in £35 i said lets pay for what we had and was treated rudely. I dont understand why people domt pay for what they had.

*You do realise she meant the manager at work not the restaurant manager? A work manager can’t dictate how people pay for a meal outside of work hmm

I’m guessing those in the “only go if you can afford to subsidise” camp are the CFs who are happy to get cheaper food on everyone else. I can’t imagine why anyone would be happy for a friend, who had less than them, to subsidise their food, unless they were looking to get a cheaper meal? I’d be utterly mortified charging my friends for my food, and them and me*

Yes, fully understood thanks.

My point is, that the rules of this meal out have been clearly communicated to attendees. You choose to go, you split the bill. If you don't agree with that, then don't go. All you will do by kicking up a fuss at the end of the meal about who had what will bring a bitter taste for everyone.

From this thread it is clear there are deep divisions in how people think bills should be split. In this case, that split has been clearly clarified. Don't like it, don't go.