Page 16 | Splitting restaurant bill

idontwanttodothisanymore · 2017-11-06T14:37:07+00:00

I’m one of those people who like to pay for just my meal. I hate splitting the bill by how many people there are. Me and DH went out with his friend and his OH the other day. Mine and DH meal came to: £31.57 I had pizza and water, he had chicken and one coke. DH friend and OH meal came to: £49.78 They had ribs, lasagne, chips and 3 drinks. Final bill was £81.75 DH friend had two vouchers for £20 off, so they both used that. Then the OH said we could pay the rest. So we ended up paying £41.75 - £10 more than our meal!!! I had never met her before and was completely shocked that she wanted us to split by 4 when our meal was cheaper. She was very intimidating anyway so I didn’t want to say anything. We were going to do 2 bills but the waiter was all flustered so we said don’t bother. Regretting it now! I know it’s only £10 but our circumstances are so different. They both work and she has one child - he works full time and she works part time. Whereas DH works part time (and overtime if there is any) but I don’t (I had to leave my job due to medically issues), and we have 2 children. DH doesn’t think I should be annoyed but I really am! AIBU to be annoyed? I don’t think I’ll ever see her again anyway, I didn’t get a good vibe from her and she’s just not my kind of person at all.

Bubblebubblepop · 07/11/2017 13:36

What if what if what if. The only thing above that stops you joining in (what have allergies or a diet got to do with it?) is not having the money.

Personally I'd rather join everyone for a drink later with my £20 so we could all relax and have a good time

GracielaSabrocita · 07/11/2017 13:39

Who calls their friends or family random scroungers, who even goes out to dinner with random scroungers? Do you not have any mate to go with instead?

Read the OP: she definitely went out to dinner with at least one random scrounger. I'm sure it's not the first nor the last time these things have happened.

If everyone orders more or less the same amount of food and alcohol and everyone knows each other well then suggesting splitting the bill could be ok. But to suggest it in circumstances such as those in the OP is blatantly taking the piss.

Likewise people on here suggesting that eating out is only suitable for people who don't object to subsidising shameless scroungers are BVU. I think that people to whom money has no value may not be the best placed to offer advice on financial matters (unless it's to other people to whom money is an infinite resource).

BakedBeans47 · 07/11/2017 13:39

Where has the Op said she thought she should pay less because she has 2 children? She was just explaining it for context around why she shouldn’t or couldn’t afford to bankroll the friends’ share surely?

GracielaSabrocita · 07/11/2017 13:40

Correction: Who calls their friends or family random scroungers, who even goes out to dinner with random scroungers? Do you not have any mate to go with instead?

Read the OP: she definitely went out to dinner with at least one random scrounger. I'm sure it's not the first nor the last time these things have happened.

If everyone orders more or less the same amount of food and alcohol and everyone knows each other well then suggesting splitting the bill could be ok. But to suggest it in circumstances such as those in the OP is blatantly taking the piss.

Likewise people on here suggesting that eating out is only suitable for people who don't object to subsidising shameless scroungers are BVU. I think that people to whom money has no value may not be the best placed to offer advice on financial matters (unless it's to other people to whom money is an infinite resource).

lightsON111 · 07/11/2017 13:41

'Relax'? Genuine question, but does it bother you then the thought of someone paying for their own food and drink? What about it makes you not able to relax?

Yes the what ifs are valid. Diet may mean you want a salad and water for £12 instead of your usual steak and wine for £30 odd.

Allergies was just saying because some places don't cater for them too well and the choices are very limited - some people feel uneasy eating out if their allergy is life threatening so they stick to something basic like a portion of chips.

lightsON111 · 07/11/2017 13:42

Sorry my last post was to @bubblebubblepop

Bubblebubblepop · 07/11/2017 13:44

Yes lightson it does. Because the thought of the cringy nightmare to come at bill time will be looming for the whole meal.

A little while ago I went out for dinner with someone who complained about the service charge. Awkward for me, awkward for the staff and she got herself worked up into a right state so probably not fun for her. I won't go out for a meal with her again, I'd be unable to relax the whole time wondering what standard part of eating out she's going to have issue with next

Sarahjconnor · 07/11/2017 13:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 07/11/2017 13:46

Then you should not attend. The manager has made clear that the bill will be split evenly. If you disagree with that, then it is best to not attend.

You do realise she meant the manager at work not the restaurant manager? A work manager can’t dictate how people pay for a meal outside of work

I’m guessing those in the “only go if you can afford to subsidise” camp are the CFs who are happy to get cheaper food on everyone else. I can’t imagine why anyone would be happy for a friend, who had less than them, to subsidise their food, unless they were looking to get a cheaper meal? I’d be utterly mortified charging my friends for my food, and them and** me.

hotbutteredcrumpetsandtea · 07/11/2017 13:47

Read the OP: she definitely went out to dinner with at least one random scrounger. I'm sure it's not the first nor the last time these things have happened

Not the point, which is that other posters are calling their friends and families scroungers and freeloading fuckers and the like.

berliozwooler · 07/11/2017 13:49

Yes, order some tap water for the table but don't think it comes free for the restaurant

Oh fuck off with that. Why should people pay for overpriced soft drinks?

Bluntness100 · 07/11/2017 13:49

Read the OP: she definitely went out to dinner with at least one random scrounger

Her husband and the other man have been friends for 14 years. You simply cannot call the mans partnet of a year a random scrounger for gods sake, that’s awful. What do you think he just found her five mins before loitering outside and dragged her in for a freebie feed.

The op and her husband were invited to join his friend of 14 years and his partner for dinner, no randoms there at all.

lightsON111 · 07/11/2017 13:54

A little while ago I went out for dinner with someone who complained about the service charge. Awkward for me, awkward for the staff and she got herself worked up into a right state so probably not fun for her. I won't go out for a meal with her again, I'd be unable to relax the whole time wondering what standard part of eating out she's going to have issue with next

Then I think this bill splitting issue is to do with what you (general 'you') think of as your 'standard' in your social circle.

Ok yes the service charge argument sounds cringy and I'd be embarrassed about that in front of staff, however the bill paying aspect doesn't have to be so much of a big deal that you can't actually relax!!! It's all subjective isn't it...I've been out for meals where I haven't spoken up and the bill was split and not relaxed either because of it.

I have a huge family, we go for meals at least once a month as it's someone's birthday and it just goes without saying that we all pay for our own - all different financial circumstances and no one feels awkward or resentful about this.

When I go out with my two best friends, we take it in turns getting the bill or just pay for our own - works for me as I'm the poorest I'd never get to go out with them if we split it.

I think it's just about whatever works for you, however I completely get and understand being broke so would NEVER be annoyed at someone for having the audacity to pay for their own bloody food!

Bubblebubblepop · 07/11/2017 13:55

Well I would be annoyed with them because they're forcing everyone else to calculate an individual bill

Bluntness100 · 07/11/2017 13:55

Not the point, which is that other posters are calling their friends and families scroungers and freeloading fuckers and the like

Yes, I don’t get this, it’s all “I’m not subsidising some scrounging free loader so always pay exactly my share ”. So ehrm what happens when they go to dinner and no freeloaders or scroungers present, do they split the bill equally , how often do these folks go to dinner with scroungers and free loaders, and why the hell do they keep going. Don’t they know anyone normal?

KERALA1 · 07/11/2017 13:55

Some very odd attitudes on this thread. Some people seem paranoid that others are out to cheat them or "scrounge" - surely if you are eating out with family and friends its normal to split the bill if your meals are "there or thereabouts" - exception being if someone not drinking alcohol.

Cannot imagine muttering about "scroungers" and counting the pennies in the corner to ensure an old friend or family member isn't getting one over on me by £8 or something .

Bluntness100 · 07/11/2017 13:59

however I completely get and understand being broke so would NEVER be annoyed at someone for having the audacity to pay for their own bloody food

This is at least honest. It’s one thing to say I can’t afford to pay one penny more than what I order it’s totally different to sy I do it because I’m not going to subsidise some free loading scrounger.

The latter begs the immediate question of why you keep on going to dinner with someone uou class as a free loading scrounger.

lightsON111 · 07/11/2017 14:05

Well the people I go out with are NOT free loading scroungers, the only time I've felt it unfair was with large groups where I didn't know everyone and they insisted we split it after having lots and lots of alcohol and some of us had one soft drink etc

Whataboutmeee · 07/11/2017 14:06

What if you don't want to spend an extra £8 or £10 every time you go out? That's £8 or £10 extra I could spend on my children.

GracielaSabrocita · 07/11/2017 14:11

Her husband and the other man have been friends for 14 years. You simply cannot call the mans partnet of a year a random scrounger for gods sake, that’s awful. What do you think he just found her five mins before loitering outside and dragged her in for a freebie feed.

The OP hardly knows the scrounger, and the scrounger has created circumstances meaning it's unlikely they will spend much time together again. So random in the sense that the OP hardly knows her and will never know her. Look at her behaviour as recounted in the OP. Would you have behaved like that?

GracielaSabrocita · 07/11/2017 14:16

Well the people I go out with are NOT free loading scroungers, the only time I've felt it unfair was with large groups where I didn't know everyone and they insisted we split it after having lots and lots of alcohol and some of us had one soft drink etc

Exactly. One of the reasons I don't drink alcohol is financial. For someone who wants to get tanked up at a meal, the overall cost is a hell of a lot more. Why should I subsidise that?

MinervaSaidThar · 07/11/2017 14:17

I was annoyed when I was a new, young, poor teetotal English language assistant in France. The faculty and I went out for a meal and lots of red wine was consumed. I only had the tap water but the bill was split amongst everyone. I paid up but vowed never again.

To be fair, most people in the UK realise you shouldn't charge teetotals the same. I wouldn't quibble about a few quid, but some of the examples above are pisstakes (£50 extra etc).

Bluntness100 · 07/11/2017 14:21

Look at her behaviour as recounted in the OP. Would you have behaved like that?

No. I’ve alreadg said I wouldn’t. I would have used the vouchers to reduce the over all bill and split what was left between the two couples.

I also however would not refer to my husbands friends partner as random, a random scrounger, or “the scrounger”. That’s simply horrid.

hotbutteredcrumpetsandtea · 07/11/2017 14:21

The OP hardly knows the scrounger, and the scrounger has created circumstances meaning it's unlikely they will spend much time together again. So random in the sense that the OP hardly knows her and will never know her. Look at her behaviour as recounted in the OP. Would you have behaved like that?

Except the other woman is NOT a scrounger, and you're being unneccessarily nasty about a complete stranger.
Which appears to be a feature in those whining about subsidising others.

I would never ever expect or want anyone to "subsidise" me. But then I would never think in such mercenary, rude and miserly terms.
It's not at all about having no money, that is easy, you just politely say you are paying for your own. It's about this attitude of nastiness. And that is why you shouldn't dine with others, because your sourness and begrudgery would surely spoil any meal.

lightsON111 · 07/11/2017 14:27

It's about this attitude of nastiness. And that is why you shouldn't dine with others, because your sourness and begrudgery would surely spoil any meal.

At least you've said it's a nasty attitude that should stop people dining out - some people on this thread have out and out claimed that if you can't afford to 'join in' properly (ie spend with no limit) then you should only go to McDonalds, Nandos or stay at home!!!