Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Splitting restaurant bill

974 replies

idontwanttodothisanymore · 06/11/2017 14:37

I’m one of those people who like to pay for just my meal. I hate splitting the bill by how many people there are.

Me and DH went out with his friend and his OH the other day.

Mine and DH meal came to: £31.57
I had pizza and water, he had chicken and one coke.
DH friend and OH meal came to: £49.78
They had ribs, lasagne, chips and 3 drinks.

Final bill was £81.75
DH friend had two vouchers for £20 off, so they both used that.

Then the OH said we could pay the rest. So we ended up paying £41.75 - £10 more than our meal!!!

I had never met her before and was completely shocked that she wanted us to split by 4 when our meal was cheaper.
She was very intimidating anyway so I didn’t want to say anything.

We were going to do 2 bills but the waiter was all flustered so we said don’t bother. Regretting it now!

I know it’s only £10 but our circumstances are so different. They both work and she has one child - he works full time and she works part time. Whereas DH works part time (and overtime if there is any) but I don’t (I had to leave my job due to medically issues), and we have 2 children.

DH doesn’t think I should be annoyed but I really am!
AIBU to be annoyed?

I don’t think I’ll ever see her again anyway, I didn’t get a good vibe from her and she’s just not my kind of person at all.

OP posts:
3nonblondedd78 · 07/11/2017 07:58

A big enough discrepancy? The op paid 25% more than she should. Ynbu op. I hate it when people do this.

TheDowagerCuntess · 07/11/2017 08:17

Agree ok - when we go out for dinner with friends, we all order pretty much the same. Entree and main, or main and dessert say, and we always share the wine. Bread or olives for the table which are shared...

There is never any discussion around the bill, it's always just assumed it's split.

Can't imagine going out and eating and drinking so differently from my companions to the extent that our bill needs someone to get their calculator out.

I don't know a soul who dines out on tap water!!

Delatron · 07/11/2017 08:23

Exactly, we all order similar things and drink similar amounts so never a huge discrepancy. Work outings may be different as you don't know these people as well and not as much history.

BakedBeans47 · 07/11/2017 08:34

So obviously if the bill is £429.00 for all 13 people, that is £33 each, but if me and DH only have £20 of food and drink each, I am NOT paying an extra £13 each (to basically subsidise someone else's wine and extra courses.)

Then you should not attend. The manager has made clear that the bill will be split evenly. If you disagree with that, then it is best to not attend.*

Nonsense. No one has to agree to that arrangement if it doesn’t suit them. I would plainly tell the manager “if it’s ok we’d rather just pay for our own”.

bimbobaggins · 07/11/2017 08:45

It’s always people who order more then expect the bill to be split. Especially the drinkers!

cambodianfoxhound · 07/11/2017 08:49

I prefer to just split the bill, sometimes you are up sometimes you are down. I find analysis of receipts very awkward too. I wonder how much is cultural, we are a family who always argues over who should get the bill - with various members being know to sneak off early and pay it at the desk in full so there can be no argument.

Where I work though totally different - I kid you not, one person pays then a spreadsheet is sent round detailing exactly what everyone had, the cost per item and the percentage share of service charge each. Everyone is on well in excess of 100k a year...

Whataboutmeee · 07/11/2017 09:03

When I go out with work colleagues twice a year, we all have the set lunch and buy our drinks separately. One year someone had extra chips and bread or something and ordered drinks at the table and everybody talked about them for months as there is a set price and that's that!

MissEliza · 07/11/2017 09:09

The way I see it, I’m not going out to eat but to socialise. I’m happy to split the bill as I’m paying to enjoy the company of my friends.

thiswasmeyousee · 07/11/2017 09:22

I agree that you shouldn’t have had to pay more than you ordered. However I despair for people who are pleading poverty but continue to have children.

Skarossinkplunger · 07/11/2017 09:49

I too can’t stand the type of people who itemise bills. It’s embarrassing and I won’t eat out with them again. However I do always offer to pay more if I’ve had steak and wine where someone else has had pizza and water.

I did once quibble over a bill where I was single and eating with 2 couples who had six kids between them and someone said ‘shall we just split the bill between the adults’. A simple ‘no actually, I don’t think that’s fair’ did the trick. I’m certainly not paying for someone else’s kids!

hotbutteredcrumpetsandtea · 07/11/2017 10:51

What I've gathered from this thread is that some people dine out with people they clearly hate, and others are total wet blankets that overpay for things and whine later. It all sounds exhausting and not at all fun. Some people are quite vicious about their supposed friends.

It's really not that difficult at all. In some situations you split, in some you don't. All you have to do is actually speak and say what you;re doing, politely and without drama. And dine with similarly nice and polite people!

berliozwooler · 07/11/2017 11:06

I'd always apply any voucher to the entire bill, however the voucher was acquired.

PiffleandWiffle · 07/11/2017 11:16

I've never understood the MN angst about bills.

If my friends can't afford to go out for a meal, they don't - it's no big deal, I've done it - "sorry I'm skint this week". Sorted.

When we do go out with mates it's never been itemised - we'll have our 2 kids, the friends will have their 3 kids - the bill is split 50/50 amongst the adult couples.

The only time it's ever happened has been at works bashes and inevitably one or 2 (or more) people will just chuck in an extra tenner to cover the moaners portion & give the staff an almighty tip.

GracielaSabrocita · 07/11/2017 11:45

I have never met anyone who calculates bills to the penny shock. So you paid an extra £10, so what? The other couple were probably not counting how many drinks you had, so just split the bill. Maybe they thought your water was a G&T? I hope you will forgive me saying this, but you sound way over-obsessive about money. People don't give a hoot about this kind of thing.

'This kind of thing' being 10 pounds. Great 12hrsoff , I've just PMed you my Paypal address - please send me 10 pounds immediately. Also please could you give me contact details of everyone in your social circle too - all of whom apparently have no qualms about giving tenners to random scroungers.

MinervaSaidThar · 07/11/2017 11:45

I'd always apply any voucher to the entire bill, however the voucher was acquired.

To a 50% off voucher, or a 2 for 1, yes. But I wouldn't spend my Tesco Clubcard vouchers earned over months and which is basically cash, on acquaintances.

The couple were not unreasonable to use their vouchers. They were unreasonable to allow OP to subsidise their meal by paying the excess.

Gottagetmoving · 07/11/2017 11:50

This kind of thing' being 10 pounds. Great 12hrsoff , I've just PMed you my Paypal address - please send me 10 pounds immediately. Also please could you give me contact details of everyone in your social circle too - all of whom apparently have no qualms about giving tenners to random scroungers

Grin Love that.
Lethaldrizzle · 07/11/2017 11:55

I've often paid more than my fair share and sometimes I pay less - swings and rondabouts - it's a bit petty to squabble over - surely it's all part and parcel of going out, socialising and enjoying other people's company!

Sarahjconnor · 07/11/2017 12:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MondayTuesdayWednesday · 07/11/2017 12:09

This topic comes up on mumsnet again and again. This wouldn't even be up for discussion in Ireland. The bill is split, unless someone is obviously not drinking in which case the others pay more.

Vouchers would be applied to the bill total and the remainder split between the group.

Why do so many people seem to think that people who eat more expensive items are out to take advantage of them? Why are you eating out with people you distrust so much? Funny attitude to have

Bluntness100 · 07/11/2017 12:18

all of whom apparently have no qualms about giving tenners to random scroungers

Who calls their friends or family random scroungers, who even goes out to dinner with random scroungers? Do you not have any mate to go with instead?

For me it’s just as poor etiquette to go to a planned meal and not join in, substantlually under ordering and paying only your share. As it is to go and excessively over order in comparison to thr group and not chip in extra.

The lady adamant she will not pay the 33 pounds if she spends 20. Why the fuck are you agreeing to go, if you intend to consume nearly 50 percent less than everyone else before you even get there, and have already decided to refuse to comply with thr agreed bill paying format?You’ve been told. If you don’t want to join in, don’t go.

amicissimma · 07/11/2017 12:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MinervaSaidThar · 07/11/2017 12:40

I was in this exact situation at the weekend, but I had the vouchers (Tesco pizza express). There were 8 of us, I paid for all the food with the £160 of vouchers I'd swapped for £40 of points and the other family paid £42 for the drinks. We left £5 each tip. The other couple had a 3 course meal and drinks for £5. They must have known it was unfair.

But Sarahjconnor why did you do that? Why not save your vouchers for when you take your own family out? Or you should have just paid for your own and your partner's meal with vouchers?

LadyinCement · 07/11/2017 12:50

absolutely, amicissimma . Soft drinks can be just as expensive as a glass of wine. I agree with pps who say that the itemisers are often the ones who gain when they pay for their own as they "forget" about tips and service charges, and even starters.

Furthermore, it really makes me see red about tap water drinkers. Yes, order some tap water for the table but don't think it comes free for the restaurant. Likewise those cheeky f**ers who go into places and ask for a pot of hot water and have their own tea bag with them or even bring their own food. Do they think eating establishments are charities and their staff and overheads are paid in fresh air?

The OP is being the most unreasonable of all for spouting about number of children at home having a bearing on payment. If she said this to me in real life her Weatherspoon's 2-4-1 would land right in her face. (Not really, I'd just steam quietly and make sure I never set eyes on her again.)

Dontspeaktome · 07/11/2017 12:52

thebluething

honestly yes lol it was my birthday Grin

lightsON111 · 07/11/2017 13:26

For me it’s just as poor etiquette to go to a planned meal and not join in, substantlually under ordering and paying only your share. As it is to go and excessively over order in comparison to thr group and not chip in extra.

The lady adamant she will not pay the 33 pounds if she spends 20. Why the fuck are you agreeing to go, if you intend to consume nearly 50 percent less than everyone else before you even get there, and have already decided to refuse to comply with thr agreed bill paying format?You’ve been told. If you don’t want to join in, don’t go

Bluntness what if you don't have a huge appetite? You're on a diet? You have allergies and can only order something specific? You don't have a huge disposable income and have managed to save 20 quid to celebrate a PERSON that you love and care about? (Me most months)

You should not 'join in'? How on earth is it bad etiquette to go out for a meal and pay for what you want to eat and drink??!

Some of the replies on this thread are really odd and I can't and will never relate to being offended by someone wanting to pay purely for what they can afford and have consumed.