Splitting restaurant bill

[idontwanttodothisanymore]

I’m one of those people who like to pay for just my meal. I hate splitting the bill by how many people there are.

Me and DH went out with his friend and his OH the other day.

Mine and DH meal came to: £31.57
I had pizza and water, he had chicken and one coke.
DH friend and OH meal came to: £49.78
They had ribs, lasagne, chips and 3 drinks.

Final bill was £81.75
DH friend had two vouchers for £20 off, so they both used that.

Then the OH said we could pay the rest. So we ended up paying £41.75 - £10 more than our meal!!!

I had never met her before and was completely shocked that she wanted us to split by 4 when our meal was cheaper.
She was very intimidating anyway so I didn’t want to say anything.

We were going to do 2 bills but the waiter was all flustered so we said don’t bother. Regretting it now!

I know it’s only £10 but our circumstances are so different. They both work and she has one child - he works full time and she works part time. Whereas DH works part time (and overtime if there is any) but I don’t (I had to leave my job due to medically issues), and we have 2 children.

DH doesn’t think I should be annoyed but I really am!
AIBU to be annoyed?

I don’t think I’ll ever see her again anyway, I didn’t get a good vibe from her and she’s just not my kind of person at all.

I think the OP is getting way too much stick for having the audacity to want to have a nice night out on a budget even though she's skint

But she didn't want to. She just didn't say she didn't want to!

I don’t allow others to pay for me so if i have had a starter or wine I make sure I pay more

It might only be a few pounds but it’s the principal I would have paid £35 to cover some service charge

Why should you pay 50:50

I often don’t drink or at the most a small glass of wine many of my friends will down three large glasses that often costs more than the meal itself money is tight for me they wouldn’t expect me to pay and as money is tight I would object becuase I don’t want to be left short for more important things

I would always split a bill regardless of what everyone orders. However if some are drinking and some not we would always say for them to pay less and those drinking would always pay more. I don’t think it is unreasonable to split the bill however.

However just to add if anyone said they wanted to just pay for what they had I would have no issue and the rest of us would split the remainder. I think the issue here is that you should have spoken up.

I don't get why some people seem to think not splitting the bill means you're penny pinching or not enjoying the meal because you spend the whole time mentally adding everything up I can't just pull money out of my arse to cover more than what I've budgeted for, no matter how much I love my friends and family. I do not think this means I should never go out either. I am able to go out albeit rarely, because I budget and plan. Just because some people are less financially fortunate doesn't mean their lives should be miserable! Equally my friends and family care about me and so would never want me to end up struggling financially after a meal or whatever. None of them would insist on splitting the bill. In fact, I can only think of a few occasions where people have tried to insist on a split. All of them were only acquaintances and all of them had expensive food and drinks!

Oh and all those times they got in a huff because I refused! I couldn't afford the extra (in one case 50 quid extra!). But I do always round up what I had and tip generously. I work all of that into my budget.

Red

You had a budget, you stuck to it, you said no.....can you spot where the OP did any of this?

Did any of what? I addressed the OP in a previous post. She should have spoken up but I also think it has more to do with the fact that she didn't like the woman who was there as she's mentioned this a few times!

I think the general consensus is there is a difference between spending £10 and being asked to pay £100 because everyone's decided they're splitting it after knocking back cocktails and steak, and spending £32 and having to contribute £40 as that's the way it worked out.

The vouchers are a complete red herring - they are effectively the same as cash in that scenario.

We used to have friends who totted up everything they had and paid cash.
It never seemed to be the right amount, eg a drink or a starter missed off, then we'd pay the rest on the bank card, including the tip that they never gave a penny towards. It was always in their favour, never ours.

Fo those of you saying you’re too busy having fun that it doesn’t even occur to you to look at what everyone else is having - are you 100% sure everyone is fine splitting the bill?

I ask because we have a lovely young lass working in our office, very junior level (so living wage earner) and she’s everybody’s friend. We have quite a lot of Works night outs and she stopped coming to them, which was a bit unusual as she loves a night out.

She eventually confided in me that she stopped coming because, even though she orders cheap food and drink due to being on a budget, the bill always gets split, so she subsidises the steaks and cocktails and desserts of those higher paid than herself. She said a few times it would leave her with hardly anything but she wasn’t brave enough to say in front of the managers that she’d rather pay for her own food. It’s hard when seven loud voices go “we’re just splitting, yeah?”. So she just went along with it. Eventually she didn’t go because she couldn’t afford to any more.

I felt awful not even thinking about her and if she could afford it, and no one else seemed to either - we were too busy having fun to notice what other everyone else was having.

Now when we go out she comes and I lead a ‘let’s just pay for our own, I want to eat like a pig’ kind of dance. She always says thanks afterwards! I don’t give a shit if I look like a penny pincher.

you blew the last Of your money and actually went into debt for it

I’d hardly call £60-odd being “in debt”. Good grief!

She sounds like a dick!! Who the hell wouldn’t have taken the vouchers off the whole bill and then split the rest?! Not sure why pp’s are being arsy - the op paid a tenner of the other couple’s bill for them and they paid nothing. It’s not like it was a straight split - the vouchers make a big difference!

A work situation is different admittedly. I wouldn't call colleagues friends and so yes they may not be happy with splitting and I wouldn't assume they were.

My friends are all definitely happy splitting. We all eat/drink similar amounts and there are no pisstakers. Non-drinkers pay less.

So if splitting is ‘what mates do’ do you think that BatShite should have paid £100 for a club sandwich and a glass of coke?

The vouchers are not a freebie out of the papers - they're vouchers that the other couple purchased!!

nancy75
So you took the receipt home and added up the precise amounts?
Just go out as a couple in future, it will be less stressful for you

This.

An ex friend was like this. Added up every penny we had both spent in a restaurant - I once spent 24p more than her and she refused to split the bill.

I think the OP is getting way too much stick for having the audacity to want to have a nice night out on a budget even though she's skint

But she didn't want to. She just didn't say she didn't want to!

I think it's understandable that someone wouldn't want to broadcast that they're going over their budget, especially with someone they've just met. The other couple were BU not to take this into account, especially since they weren't even paying for their own dinner.

This is why I love Nandos! Pay individually before the meal = no awkwardness after.

Personally if eating out with friends we normally split the bill. But then, we normally all have the same amount and go out with the same people so it evens out over time anyway.

For those saying £40 vouchers are the same as cash, not quite, as they don't cover drinks only food. The couple would have needed to pay for their drinks on top of using their £40 voucher if OP and her husband had not been there, so would have ended up paying quite a bit more.

You should have said there and then how much your meals were and that they should fund the rest, not moan about it afterwards....and the waiter should split the bill if he's asked. Don't work in hospitality if you can't add up!! I won't fund other people's gluttony either.

somtimes bill is split evenly sometimes we pay for what we had its not being awkward= some people will only have sandwich compared to a full main why should thy pay the same

and when does it stop u could go out once a week and end up in ops case 40 odd quid down a month!

I feel for the OP and think she has a valid point. Sure people with a large disposable incomes can afford to indulge friends and aquaintances when splitting bills. However the OP and her partner are on a low income. If I went out with friends worse off than me I would try and be mindful of this and overpay my share. If I went out with someone who consumed no more than a pizza and a glass of water I would certainly make sure they were only paying for what they had, at most. It's easy for those who have never been hard up to insist splitting the bill 50:50 or whatever is 'fair'. But in my experience they are often the freeloaders who order drinks on the tab before others have arrived; go a la carte when others settle for the set menu, and order tonnes of overpriced wine, expecting others to subsidise them. OP, unless its really close friends, just stick to you and DP going out until your finances improve.

I have some lovely friends who like to go out to nice places but only on their own budget. One choice of a course plus glass or two of wine might cost two or three times more than another choice especially if one person doesn't drink. I'd much rather have the pleasure of their company in a nice place rather than they stayed home or we go somewhere less nice.

Other groups of friends or colleagues, one person picks up the tab, either us or someone else, because sometimes it's awkward to split the bill and nobody cares about the money.

If I picked up the tab for the first group, they would feel awkward and would stop coming out with me. We're all the same age-ish and in the same profession but different financial circumstances.

Another friend is Ms Highflier, single, great job, lots of money. She might fly 1000s of miles to spend the weekend but then pay separately for breakfast. Still love her, still want to spend time with her.