to think that someone is in for a bollocking tomorrow

[Worriedobsessive]

which they richly deserve!

Difficult families?

I've tried not to be 'difficult' and have been holding back, if anything. I am on the verge of deliberately being very difficult though, and this has been imposed upon me.

Our LEA issued ds2's EHCP in February, stating he should be in a specialist ASC 'hub' with a view to integrating back into mainstream in the future. The local hub has refused to enrol him for reasons which haven't been shared with me (pretty much fuck all info gets shared with me anyway). The last time I tried to find out what was happening the reply I received said "...I suggest you refer any enquiries regarding education to staff member X at school" - which is me being told to fuck off I think.

So ds2 hasn't been found an alternative setting at all since then. Instead he spent many weeks going to school to be kept in one senior staff members office to play computer games and eat biscuits for 45min - 1hr per day... except for the times when nobody was available to be with him at school, so I'd get a call asking me to keep him at home. Fuck knows how those absences were authorised.

I made a fuss about him not doing any learning and we now have home tuition to keep him up to speed. So we have a 6 year old little boy with a legal document stating he should be in a suitable school who is actually stuck indoors, isolated and not integrating with his peers... I'm very worried that he is becoming institutionalised. Also, selfishly I suppose, I am impotently furious that I am here with him instead of being able to work - the financial impact is not good. I'm isolated and unsupported and actually forgetting how to have conversations/socialise. I think I'm losing my marbles a bit.

I'm now looking at a specialist school which is out of area because I've had no luck locally (schools are either for different needs than ds2 has or don't have space). I stuck my head above the parapet and asked where we are and I got a reply saying there's a meeting tomorrow. If I hadn't contacted them I would never have known about it.
I'll be in touch with them again first thing Wednesday, and every day after that until some kind of progress is made. I resent that my hand is being forced but somethings got to give so I'm gearing up to get extremely fucking 'difficult'.

Mamma TJ that’s exactly what I was going to write!

WorkingClassHeroine have you kept a record of all the times you have been asked to keep your son at home? These are illegal exclusions.

www.ipsea.org.uk/what-you-need-to-know/exclusion-from-school

Goes without saying.... we’re people, not robots. Life is stressful for all of us, especially so for this with kids/young adults requiring EHCP’s. I wasn’t a bundle of joy when I was going through that process in a system that’s seriously backed up and no one appearing to really know what they’re doing.

Ellie56 I'm afraid I didn't think to do that - but I could probably do an FOI request from school?

And I replied to your PM, thanks

The slow dawning realisation that values I thought were the shared values of our society were just a sham. A thin veneer so we can all pretend we are civilised enough to look out for those who need it. The safety net I thought was there to catch those who needed it was just a cobweb. It's pretty devastating to find that out. At least it was for me.

OhNoFuckADuck

That made me cry. That is what I have been saying for years now about my experience of mental health services and for those who are disabled. to everyone who has to deal with these dehumanising systems. You are absolutely right to be angered at the use of language. I wish I could be like those pp who want to see the best in these organisations and believe we are being 'over sensitive' but sadly once you've experienced them it's very hard.

If some families of kids with send and soms families of without send can be difficult then all that means is familes=some will be difficult. So all that needs said is working with families. The fact it specifies difficult famlies illustrates the disabilism.

Meninist what? Can you explain further?

If you're going to do goady twattery Menin, just spit it out like a big brave soldier

Your comment. Or would you prefer to be reported for being deliberately goading?

Meninist I assume the OP wants to know what you mean by your post stating that from your experience of MN: "...these families are likely to be extremely difficult."

It sounds very much like you think that 'these families' are a pain in the arse, and that that is common knowledge on MN

I've learnt from MN that these families are likely to be extremely difficult

So you haven't learnt an awful lot from MN then?

Is this “so many people” across the population, or confined to the families of SEN kids? I ask, with this being a thread about the families of SEN kids...

So you’re either posting to insult the families of disabled children, or your post has no relavence.

V prompt, MNHQ, thank you.

I don't understand why people are being so sensitive.

Oh gosh, I don't know. Maybe having a child with disabilities and spending a goodly
portion of my adult life fighting his corner and being called difficult just for doing my job as a parent. Could be that.

Onanist thinks he's triggering people, bless his tiny cotton socks.

Meninist I am sensitive to the fact that I have a young child with a disability and the Local Authority are abdicating their legal responsibility to provide him with an education. He and I are both socially isolated and I am economically inactive due to being forced out of work to care for him at home. If being pissed off about that makes me 'difficult' then so fucking be it.

Djbaggysmalls “onanist” Superb!

You know, I think it takes a special kind of utter oxygen thief to get their kicks from winding up the parents of disabled kids. I bet they make their mothers proud...

I was an SEN Officer for 7 years and it is a largely thankless job. Unfortunately the 'them and us' culture is endemic and parents were on the defensive from the first contact. I did my best and I got into trouble on several occasions for being open and honest. Did all children I was responsible for get the support they need? No. Did I try? Yes, damn hard. Did some families get funding for their child by employing expensive lawyers while other families in very similar situation didn't? Absolutely. It is not a level playing field and my disgust at that is ultimately why I left and now advise parents on working with the LEA where possible and support them through tribunal where not possible.

In that job I was shouted at and insulted daily, spat at, assaulted by parents. Just for trying to do my job. And I understand it is stressful but that doesn't excuse it. Some families are difficult.

That said I would not have worded the ad that way as it just feeds the hateful them and us culture. I would probably say ability to have difficult conversations with parents.

Exactly purple