Sister using pronoun they...

[Merida83]

To describe my 7 week old dd!
AIBU to be pissed off and to insist she refers to my DD by female only pronouns.

Funny how transphobia is bandied about like it is the be all and end all. Where exactly is the transphobia? Who has ever used the term Cis-woman except transactivists?

And mine wasn't to have a debate at all, it was simply to agree with another poster that, yes, I agree that's MN is quite transphobic. I do not have to justify that view to you.

It's a bit shitty though, isn't it, on a discussion forum, to accuse your fellow posters of transphobia and then say you don't have to justify that accusation?

Your accusation is baseless. Frequency of posts just means most people don't agree with you and 'strident' means we're not being 'nice' enough. We've been 'nice' for years and it's brought us to the brink of losing every right we've successfully fought for.

So fuck that shit.

Also these accusations of transphobia are ridiculous. Never backed up by anything at all. In the other thread it turned out that simply saying women have vaginas was 'transphobic' according to the poster getting on their high horse...without even knowing what the law changes will mean or that 'transgender' is NOT a transsexual person. Everything is transphobic these days. The word is totally meaningless.

Ask your sister what she thinks of the idea of 'tomboys'. Trans ideology is pressuring tomboys to change 'sex'. There are many alarming examples in America.

Ask your sister if our society should sterilise all the tomboys, as that is the logical conclusion of arguing they're actually boys.

Just wondering if people new to this debate know there's a law coming that will make it possible for anyone to be legally recognised as any gender they like?

Soon there will be no need for surgery or even attempting to live as the other gender legally, you just sign a form.

This means male bodied people with penises will be able to declare themselves women and compete in sport against your DDs, share dormitory rooms with them, do your gynae exam, be rape counsellors, access women's shelters, scholarships, changing rooms, all-female quotas as "women" and if you object YOU will be on the wrong side of the law.

If you think this is nuts, It's already happening. Google cotton ceiling. Transwomen with dicks telling lesbians they're bigots if they don't want to have sex with them. Because if they are women and have a dick, It's a ladydick, see?

This isn't about the rare, genuine gender dysmorphic people, It's much bigger than that.

Object to this? Or just want to ask questions? That makes you an evil TERF and your words are violence. You deserve to be attacked. (Google trans activists attack feminists).

pallisers - Tell her that you are offended at her insensitivity and that your baby currently identifies with he/him and could she please not presume.

Then the next time she says "he/him" tell her you are offended at her insensitivity and that your baby currently identifies with they/them and could she please be sensitive enough to check first.

Then the next time she says "they/them" tell her you are offended at her insensitivity and that your baby currently identifies with she/her and could she please get it right.

Repeat ad infinitum or else suggest at some point that she do a gender-awareness course as she is very insensitive and this may be harming your baby.

^^ Do this OP, or alternatively tell your DSis you are bringing up your DD to have a strong grasp of material reality and pride in her female sex.

ALittleBitOfButter

I have to say I am sooo glad I was born when I was and am not child / teenager nowadays. I was a complete tomboy as a child and am glad no one pressured me into identifying as a man instead. I don’t understand why people can’t just let kids be kids! It is especially distressing that you have young children taking hormonal altering medication.

I didn't accuse the posters on this thread of anything. I said I have found MN to be quite transphobic. If people want to imagine I am directing that comment at them, that is their problem, not mine, you included.

MN is made of posters, it's not this abstract thing. If you encounter transphobia on MN the thing to do is address it directly or report. Making vague accusations without saying who or what you are referring to is goady as fuck.

raisinsarenottheonlyfruit
That is very scary.
I'm sure there will absolutely not be any unintended consequences of that law

I’m just asking if that’s what you mean by tone and frequency rather than content!

Funny how transphobia is bandied about like it is the be all and end all.

Yes, like it has such power . I'm ok with being called it. It matters not a jot to me and as time goes on and awareness of the trans activist agenda grows it will mean less and less.

Pengggwn - I didn't.

Yes you did, you said I agree MN is very transphobic and often it is the strident tones or frequency of the posts that gets this across, not the content specifically.

Those are vague accusations.

You can of course say what you like, within talk guidelines. The rest of us can too. Making vague accusations without saying who or what you are referring to is goady as fuck.

It's like Alice through the Looking Glass. I still don't understand how transphobia can be identified except via the content of posts. Tone and frequency of posts? WTF?! Does that mean that merely posting frequently on trans threads is enough for you to label somebody transphobic? And 'tone', seriously? That is crazy vague. And we can't question you on any of this, because it's your right to accuse someone of hating an entire group of people but not to give any detail of what precisely they have said that you object to? I genuinely find that quite scary.

Utterly batshit. I'm respectful of adults decisions about their gender but refusing to acknowledge a child's sex can only lead to massive confusion for that child. Like it or not (and I don't) sex and gender play a role in society at present, i would say it's far more harmful to ignore this than to assume that their sex and gender are the same (as they are for the vast vast majority) until a time they tell you otherwise. This is going way too far.

You can't redefine what 'accusation' means, either. You are accusing posters on MN of transphobia. We aren't taking it personally, we're trying to understand what it is you are objecting to, if it isn't actual statements.

Your sister should really respect your wishes on this point, as you are the parents.
I've got to say though, I personally would limit the time I allowed my child to spend with this person. They wouldn't be doing any baby sitting (assuming they offered of course) or anything like that.

Just ask her who? Each time she says they. Hopefully she'll get the message and either say she/the baby/name. I hate it when people refer to individuals as they. It's confusing AF.

How tedious for you OP. There's always someone making it about themselves isn't there? FFS

OP, does the sister have some issues/jealousy of you/something going on here?

She is being very controlling

She believes that gender is a social construct and as such does not wish to assign dd a gender, until she herself does so.

Genuinely have no idea why you'd care? She isn't assigning a gender to your baby. So what? It doesn't affect either of you in any way. You sound like a tit if you're willing to ruin your relationship over something this trivial.