To think it's inconsiderate to text someone at half 5 in the morning

[Jesstheblackandwhitecat]

Or am I being unreasonable? Not an emergency, a colleague asking me something.

I am one of those people who loses lists of my lists.

tbh, if someone wants to resent me for being "inconsiderate", then I wish they'd say that to my face & not passive-aggressively moan about it on MN. Then we can both cross each other off contacts list forever & ever. Both sides satisfied.

My cousin's household only managed to flee a wildfire recently b/c somebody in the house answered late night texts & phone calls (there were no other warnings -- not even from neighbours fleeing at same time). So another cousin is saying she'll never turn her phone off again at night "just in case". To be honest, I value my sleep so much & would rather take my chances! So you choose your risks, don't you? Either way.

Oh well in that case the risk of wildfire changes my tune. ‘Peers out of window at random trees dotted about in the UKs november’

If someone would delete me from their contacts because I’m not willing to be on the end of their insomnia brain dumps in the middle of the night I would give a wide berth in general. That length of inconsideration usually extends to other things.

Moaning on MN cant be PA though.
For that, the person who has texted the OP wouod need to be on MN reading this thread.....

On the other side, that’s exactly what MN is for. Moan about whatever is annoying you, get other pov (maybe you are, maybe you aren’t reasonable in your anger) and then decide what to do.

Texts and emails should be sent at the convenience of the sender and read at the convenience of the recipient.

THIS!

You only call a landline between 9am and 7pm, at a push - but taking into account family dynamics. The beauty of emails, text and other whatsapp is to send them without disturbing the recipient.

If the recipient doesn't have the right set up on their phone, it's not your fault!You have no control on the time the messages will arrive anyway. If people have a modern device (ie a mobile phone), then it's up to them to set it up properly. If they chose to have a landline only (which is fair enough), then you send them a letter if you are unable to call at "polite hour" - which is still a minefield, people sleep in the morning, nap, work, have lunch, give children a bath...

Many of us are in the train between 6 and 7am, it's the perfect time to catch up on text or emails. I wouldn't willingly bother anyone, but if they make it clear you can't text or email anytime other than 9 to 5, then I won't contact them.

I use my mobile as an alarm clock, never been awaken at night by it.

Still curious to know why a parent must be on stand by 24/7 when a child is at Uni. How do you cope when they go backpacking for a few months on the other side of the world?

I have 2 dcs at uni. My phone is turned off when I go to bed.
What did we do in the days before phones? Oh we managed.

I don't have a land line, and I turn my phone off every night.

It's fine by me, as long as they don't expect an answer at that time. I turn my phone off at night, so would only look at it the next day anyway.

but now Dd is in uni I have to Be contactable 24/7

Why?

If you wouldn't ring someone you shouldn't text them either.

it's up to them to set it up properly

How exactly do I set up my phone to receive from J Random Emergency Caller on behalf of elderly DP/DPiL whilst blocking everyone else?

If you wouldn't ring someone you shouldn't text them either.

that would complete negate the point of the text! I wouldn't ring someone at lunch time, diner time, nap time or even during office hours when they are at work. How do you manage when people are in different time zone?

Is this assuming everyone has the same phone too? Surely they all have different set ups for different ring tones etc?

It's rude. Unless it's someone you know won't mind, or you know they turn off their phone. Its not for someone else to decide whether you should have your phone turned off.

This is ridiculous. Why do you expect someone else not use technology the way it is supposed to work because you have decided that you are not going to learn to use it properly?

but there is a school of thought that believes all the responsibility for controlling messages sent to you is with you and not with the sender. Its a bad excuse for lack of basic courtesy.

Of course it's your responsibility to control when you process your text messages and emails. It's your phone.

If people can't send messages whenever they want to because some recipients don't want to learn how to use their phones, then an important aspect of the reason for using messages in the first place is wiped out. They may as well just phone you.

My phone is switched off and in the kitchen all night so I don't care what time you text me. No one needs to be that contactable all the time.

I'd never send a text at five am!

I used to have scheduled texts on my old phone and I miss it!

I imagine that when the car was invented, horse people thought everyone who drove faster than a horse was anti-social, and the selfish bastards should just slow down to horse pace.

I think the people who believe other people shouldn't send messages at inconvenient times haven't grasped that texting is a new technology that isn't the same thing as making a phone call, and whose advantages would be somewhat nullified if you make it play bt the same rules.

I wouldn't dream of texting someone that time of the morning - especially not a work colleague

Bloody people buzz me randomly all night

So you're that in demand you have different people constantly texting you all night every night?

Hmm

Am I the only person who uses the alarm on my phone?

But the joy of texting rather than calling is the sender can send a message at literally ANY time and the recipient can answer at their convenience. It’s not her fault if you have your phone on your bedside table, you do know you can put it on silent if you don’t want to hear notifications.
If your phone is in another room or on silent why would it bother you what time the damn message was sent?

Am I the only person who uses the alarm on my phone?

No, and I also use the torch to check on my babies. I just leave my phone on silent.

If people refuse to use a mobile phone the way it is meant to be used, but think of it as a landline, then they have to chose if the turn it off at night (the way you unplug your landline), or run the risk to be disturbed.

I heard people moaning about the time (work) emails are sent. That's the whole bloody point of an email! Sending it without bothering the recipient!

@StealthPolarBear
My phone is set to DND between 11pm and 7.30 but the alarm will ring at 7 am if required

Lots of people are saying phones don't belong in the bedroom

Having to be contactable 24/7 for an adult at uni must be very restricting. Do you not drive?

Why do you give a work colleague your private number. If you’re concerned about work disturbances just don’t give people the ability to contact you, they have no right.

I watched a house fire, not long ago. Other watchers said they had to bang on the door of the houseowner for several minutes, before she would answer, so they could warn her about the fire (in her roof).

That belongs in the discussion with people who "Never answer the door if I don't know who it is", but it's kind of similar theme. You choose your risks, either way.