To think it's inconsiderate to text someone at half 5 in the morning

[Jesstheblackandwhitecat]

Or am I being unreasonable? Not an emergency, a colleague asking me something.

[Firesuit]

Bloody people buzz me randomly all night

My phone is set to not disturb me between 11pm and 7am.

This doesn't stop alarms working.

My phone will only ring for calls from people in my address book. Other calls and all messages do not disturb me.

If I had people in my address book who called me unnecessarily during restricted hours, I would restrict calls to starred contacts, and exclude them from that group.

[KingMortificadosMistress]

YABU - in fact massively unreasonable in my book.

If you don't want to be disturbed there are lots of options:

disable text/email notifications or use airplane mode/ Do not disturb if you are set on using the phone as an alarm or other function (btw get an alarm clock and do a bit of googling about the dangers/downside of having a phone charging by your bed when you sleep)

Put your phone in another room with silent notification for texts/emails and the ringer left on for emergencies

(and lets get real here how many "emergencies" are there that happen over night that require your immediate response that can't actually wait until morning?? Er.... virtually none. The only real exception is a person about to die who if you don't make it in time you may not see them - which probably isn't very realistic for anyone other than an aged parent/relative. The rest of it whatever it is can usually be sorted out via friends/emergency services and a few hours makes no difference)

turn your phone off over night

GET A LAND LINE

Plenty of companies sent marketing emails on automated schedules late at night so that it is "first" in the inbox in the morning or there early.

I find all this "desperate to have the phone on turned on by the bed all night" very plebian and boorish to be honest. Can't you live without it for a few hours?

[C8H10N4O2]

This is ridiculous. Why do you expect someone else not use technology the way it is supposed to work because you have decided that you are not going to learn to use it properly?

And again I ask how do I set my phone to receive messages/calls from J Random calling about my elderly relatives?

I've had texts/calls in these situations and amazingly they don't come from the family and friends phone numbers. Presumably the emergency help is supposed to find the relevant phone and call from that so that self absorbed people can send me random crap about their cats at 5 in the morning.

[C8H10N4O2]

many "emergencies" are there that happen over night that require your immediate response

When you have elderly relatives living along with health issues - quite a lot actually.

[disahsterdahling]

No, it's like a letter or an email, you look at it when you are ready.

if you have your phone in your bedroom, I'd suggest you move it somewhere else. Buy a cheap alarm clock if you use it as an alarm clock.

[gobster]

I always find it baffling when people get upset by this. Your phone, your responsibility to ensure it’s doesn’t ring when you don’t want it to. Would you blame the sender if you were in a meeting........no you’d put it on silent.

For all the Emergency issue, blocking text messages from alerting during quiet hours isn’t really stopping you from being contactable if you let all calls through. In an emergency someone is hardly likely to text due to the fact texts can take 12 hr to be delivered

[KingMortificadosMistress]

When you have elderly relatives living along with health issues - quite a lot actually.

Firstly - this was all about emergencies with children - which was my main point. There are very few that don't relate to aged relatives.

Secondly, I don't agree there are "quite a lot" that are overnight emergencies that are going to be sorted out by phoning their relative presumably in another location? If you have someone suffering from dementia etc they will need an alarm system. Someone who has collapsed fallen out of bed etc is (a) unlikely to be able to get to the phone hence needs a wearable alarm (B) if they need someone they probably need someone closer or emergency services.

I'm not saying there are none but it's just not common and will rarely apply in the case of teenagers/young adults that it actually can't be sorted out by others and that a few hours can't wait.

And anyway GET A LANDLINE. Does happen that mobile networks fail or are busy. Landline normally v reliable!

[Oysterbabe]

And again I ask how do I set my phone to receive messages/calls from J Random calling about my elderly relatives?

You set it up to allow all calls through but nothing else. People will generally only call during the night in an emergency but will text whenever.

[KingMortificadosMistress]

And again I ask how do I set my phone to receive messages/calls from J Random calling about my elderly relatives?

As Oysterbabe said. Also most phones with a Do Not Disturb function allow you to set it up to Allow Calls from specified numbers - favorites or particular numbers.

This is how to do it on an iphone but it's not rocket science - if you look in DND settings IT'S ALL THERE! Try Google; it's amazing if you .. er... need some information.

support.apple.com/en-gb/HT204321

[gamerchick]

@lljkk there is absolutely no scenario that will ok selfishness of doing what you want in the middle of the night because you’re an insomniac. I get insomnia frequently and it really doesn’t occur to me to disturb people electronically just because I’m awake. That’s where mumsnet comes into its own.

You can talk about all the fires you want!

[luckylavender]

Keep your phone out of the bedroom. Get a landline & let people have the number for emergencies.

[Redglitter]

I have my phone set to dnd so I only get calls/texts from selected contacts too. I have to admit though I don't like texting people late or during the night incase it does disturb them. I work shifts so am up during the night a lot. If I think of something I need to text someone I use the scheduled facility on my phone. Type up the text then schedule it to get sent later in the morning when I know it won't disturb anyone

[TheStoic]

Oh god, people who text at stupid o’clock are such DICKS.

Unless it’s an emergency, your news can wait. Get a life, seriously.

[MinervaSaidThar]

Mobile phones are now capable of ensuring you're only contactable when and by whom you want.

It's up to you not be a troglodyte and get with the times.

My boss emails me at midnight sometimes. I know he doesn't want expect me to respond at that time.

[TalkinBoutWhat]

Ugh, my sister used to complain about me sending her texts at night and waking her up. But she lived on the other side of the world, and the window for me to remember to send her a text at a time that wouldn't disturb her was very small. So I told her the choices were 1) continue to be disturbed 2) I would hardly ever text her so we wouldn't be in contact very often or 3) she set up DND properly so that she could still hear from her DSs but not get woken up by me. Funnily enough she chose 3.

So if you don't want to be disturbed by all means, tell people not to send you messages between certain times. But then expect to rarely hear from them. OR.... make use of the technology PROPERLY and set up Do Not Disturb.

[NaughtToThreeSadOnions]

Sorry that's the Beauty of texts they can be sent when ever and replied to when ever a lot less intrusive than a phone call!

I have friends who live half the year in Thailand and Australia, I enjoy waking up to their random text messages.

They don't wake me cos I switch the text to no sound over night.

[C8H10N4O2]

GET A LANDLINE.

So people should pay for an additional service in order to allow you to send them tedious shit at 5am.

Land line of course will also get spam calls even with all the preference services ticked. How I loved getting the 'support centre from microsoft' at 4in the morning.

I have initial contact from emergency situations by text message - usually its the first contact for some of the services.

But yes, we should all tie ourselves in knots rather than expect anyone to give a microsecond's thought to the recipient.

[user1471596238]

I'd say text on silent message alert and phone on normal or vibrate because if it's a genuine emergency then someone would likely phone you rather than text.

[Kaykee]

My phone is on silent 24/7 I have some numbers that vibrate for text/call but generally I’d sleep through them if used in the night unless perhaps someone was calling consistently my phone allows after 3 attempts.

My phone is my alarm for work, am up at 5 would text people who I knew would be up - mum is an early riser so often replies to messages early or I’ll text whilst on nights.

BUT why would a colleague not email you at that time? Wouldn’t get my knickers in a knot. If it disturbs you just say hey my phone is on in case my kid calls from uni so if you can email before say 7 am that would be good good thanks. No need for a ‘stern word’ lol we all like our sleep so understand it is a pain to be woken up at that time.

[isawahatonce]

I'm sure your colleague wasn't expecting an instant reply, they probably just thought about it so texted you before they forgot, you can just answer when it's convenient for you. I'm pretty sure the whole point of texting is that it doesn't disturb people, you can just respond when you're not busy/sleeping.

[poptarting]

I have initial contact from emergency situations by text message - usually its the first contact for some of the services.

Really?! That’s odd. I was gonna say you could set your phone to “phone calls only” but maybe that wouldn’t work. Why would someone text in an emergency rather than ring?

[ForalltheSaints]

Although my work phone is turned off at night except when on call (on a rota), if anyone has sent an email or text in the 'small hours' I usually talk to them the next time we are both at work to express concern that they have done so. If you are still thinking or doing work at that hour when you have a job with normal daytime hours, it is not doing your physical and especially mental health any good.

I raised such a concern with a colleague on Thursday.

[Topseyt]

Of course phones have a place in the bedroom! Mine is my alarm clock. I do have an older fashioned alarm clock too, but prefer the phone. It also means that I have a phone to hand if, god forbid, some emergency such as fire happened during the night and I had to call emergency services. Otherwise I would have to head downstairs to the landline because it has no extension in the bedroom.

You can silence whatever functions you don't want disturbing you overnight. Easy enough. Even I can do it and I am hardly the most tech savvy person in the world.

[ThisNameNow]

I wouldn't text out of hours but I think it's a bit daft for people not to bother sorting out their phone settings to suit themselves. I have a favourites list so DC and parents can call any time. I also allow calls from the same number if they ring twice within three minutes. (Standard iOS set up). I'm confident that if anyone needed to call in an emergency they would try the phone at least twice.

🤷🏻‍♀️ I don't get why everyone wouldn't do the same. There is a similar set up available for every phone I know of except for old phones....

[ShellyBoobs]

YANBU.

Why would anyone think it’s acceptable to send a text at a time they wouldn’t dream of calling someone?

Many people want to leave their phone on 24/7 in case of emergency.

It’s not difficult to hold off sending a text until a reasonable time.