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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu...fury with dh aka the chocolate thief

63 replies

freddiemercury · 05/11/2017 09:07

My husband has form for stealing DS's chocolate...including his box of birthday chocs. D'S got v upset with him as he's away at boarding school and was looking forward to them; but came home to discover them gone. They were replaced
Fast forward only two weeks and i had bought him some v cool choc in the shape of a rusty nail and bolt for him to smuggle back to school..they were incredibly realistic. Yes I know I shouldn't.. .but that's beside the point.
Now to be fair I hadnt specifically told husband they were for D'S.. .but they were in a bag, tucked away and he must have known he hadn't bought them and I hadn't given them to him.
D'S knew about the rusty nail choc....asked to see it and of course the bag was empty. It's not easy to get more. D'S and i are v cross...DH says we are over reacting.....whos right??!!

OP posts:
user1480334601 · 05/11/2017 09:09

You and your son. Your husband needs to control himself and stop stealing his kids treats fgs!

SpottedGingham · 05/11/2017 09:09

You even need to ask?

Namechangetempissue · 05/11/2017 09:10

DH sounds greedy and selfish. Get him to replace the chocolate. Taking gifts is awful.

PerfumeIsAMessage · 05/11/2017 09:12

All of you.
Possibly with the exception of the child.
You're going Ott about something your husband didn't know was a gift. He is being Ott running round secretly eating chocolate.

Hellywelly10 · 05/11/2017 09:12

I have form for eating my daughters chocolate. But I would draw the line at opening and eating what is clearly an unopened child's gift!

KC225 · 05/11/2017 09:12

A chocolate thief you say. Chocolate is non negotiable. Please have my very first LTB

ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 05/11/2017 09:24

Also he must've known it was wrong to put the bag back, if he'd genuinely thought it was ok he would've brought the lot downstairs! I feel for you op, my bil is the same and it makes me sad that his 5 year old knows she needs to hide chocolate from him!

Ceto · 05/11/2017 09:27

I'd be pretty concerned about someone who goes ferreting around in a bag that is tucked away and instantly assumes he can take its contents. How on earth does he justify that? And why doesn't he just buy his own chocolate?

SleepingInYourFlowerbed · 05/11/2017 09:29

It's not like it's ordinary chocolate that could be meant for anyone. It's clearly a present. Which he stole. From his child. I can't get my head around how he thinks that is acceptable.

Zaphodsotherhead · 05/11/2017 09:34

I'm with Ceto. My question would be why would he go looking? Why was he searching out stuff that had been put away somewhere out of view? Is he suspicious? Nosey? Does he have no boundaries? Does he regularly go through your stuff? Because it sounds more like a power play to me than simple greed - 'you are not allowed to have anything. Everything is mine.'

mustbemad17 · 05/11/2017 09:40

In my house that is an offence worthy of the doghousr. My DH learned very quickly that chocolate is not to be touched unless a) he bought it or b) he has been specifically told it is for everyone/him.

He isn't really teaching your lad good morals is he? 'Oh it's in the house therefore I can have it' kind of attitude. My daughter would go ballistic at us if she knew something was for her & it got swiped. YNBU in my opinion; your DH is being a tit. Tell him from now on the only chocolate he can eat is chocolate he buys for himself! How anyone would just assume that something hidden away is okay to be taken is beyond me! And he must have known something was off because he put the bag back!!!

RhiWrites · 05/11/2017 09:47

Don’t these greedy selfish men understand their children will always remember that dad stole their presents.

Honestly I’d be ashamed to be with someone like that.

SleepFreeZone · 05/11/2017 09:49

I can't think of anything more unattractive then a grown man constantly nicking the kids sweets. It's just so pathetic.

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 05/11/2017 09:51

Does your husband have an eating disorder as it sounds like really weird behaviour, sorry.
I would be seriously annoyed with him.

wobblywonderwoman · 05/11/2017 10:02

That is genuinely awful.
Fair enough if it was one of several chocolate eggs you wanted rid of anyway but special chocolate like that while son is away.. Horrible of Dh

Singingtherapy · 05/11/2017 10:07

It wouldn't bother me tbh. Families develop their own ways of living together and in my family, any chocolate that comes into the house becomes household food. It was my birthday last week and I received in total 5 boxes of chocolates. Two are all gone, we've all been enjoying them all week. One box I didnt get much of a look in either! So their is another side. Your husband was possibly brought up in a house like mine. Where eating chocolate gifts wasn't stealing. It was participating in the enjoyment of a household gift.

SleepingInYourFlowerbed · 05/11/2017 10:10

Singingtherapy but the gift was hidden away and hadn't been received by the recipient yet. In your house you'd eat chocolate before it had been given to the person it was meant for?

Original poster
freddiemercury · 05/11/2017 10:11

Thank you!!! I thought maybe I was BU/petty....no food is sacred and normally I go with it. But this really did annoy me...they were so obviously a "present sort of thing. Not wildly expensive £4.50 but difficukt to source and certainly won't be able to.before he goes back to school
...aaaargh!!

OP posts:
MrsWooster · 05/11/2017 10:12

The putting the bag back thing is the giveaway that this isn't normal "sharing". I think Zaphod might be on to something, or he comes from a family where he never got anything and is acting out his child self...

Original poster
freddiemercury · 05/11/2017 10:13

And Singing...i agree to a certain extent... if it was my box of chocolates and i have five boxes and we ALL enjoyed them as a family in front of a film...thats a lovely thing to do. I think this is different..

OP posts:
crazycatgal · 05/11/2017 10:14

Can’t stand greedy pigs with so little self control that they eat things that they know are not for them. DH needs to grow up.

LolaTheDarkdestroyer · 05/11/2017 10:19

Your dh is a bit strange my 2 year old wouldn’t even go rooting like that! And taking your kids sweets is awful. Wtf is rusty nail chocolate?!

Titterofwit · 05/11/2017 10:22

I can understand eating the odd bar of dairy milk or bag of malteasers as they are obviously snack food and unless in someones room can be seen as up for grabs.
Those realistic creations don't even look like chocolate though and most certainly are not in the same realm as a bar of galaxy. So if came across by chance they wouldnt give the impulse to eat in the same way.
There is no way they can be viewed as anything it separated to treats normally available in the house
Is it that DH is on a restricted diet or doesn't have the wherewithal to buy his own chocolate? If not I think that your husband has a deep seated resentment of the boy for some reason and maybe that needs to be explored.

Singingtherapy · 05/11/2017 10:31

The rusty nail chocolate's amazing, I get that's a special case and yes, taking chocolate before it's been received is a bit more extreme. But I still don't see chocolate as taking on some sacred power just because it's a gift. Would I steal my teenage daughters' birthday chocolates when they were out? Yes, probably but it would be out in the open. I'd probably send a text saying 'major chocolate craving so I'm having a bit of your dairy milk, I'll buy you some more'. And they'd find it quite amusing.

Jasminedes · 05/11/2017 10:43

Has he always struggled to not eat treat foods? Odd behaviour if it is new, but not so much if he has always done it.