Aibu...fury with dh aka the chocolate thief

[freddiemercury]

My husband has form for stealing DS's chocolate...including his box of birthday chocs. D'S got v upset with him as he's away at boarding school and was looking forward to them; but came home to discover them gone. They were replaced
Fast forward only two weeks and i had bought him some v cool choc in the shape of a rusty nail and bolt for him to smuggle back to school..they were incredibly realistic. Yes I know I shouldn't.. .but that's beside the point.
Now to be fair I hadnt specifically told husband they were for D'S.. .but they were in a bag, tucked away and he must have known he hadn't bought them and I hadn't given them to him.
D'S knew about the rusty nail choc....asked to see it and of course the bag was empty. It's not easy to get more. D'S and i are v cross...DH says we are over reacting.....whos right??!!

[Fluffyears]

My dad used to do this especially with Easter eggs. He even opened any chocolate that was around if it wasn’t his he was just a greedy arse. When we reached 18 and he was sliding into alcoholism it was then our booze that got taken. Oh it was always replaced but it was really annoying.

My brother had worked 14 back shifts is a row and decided he would enjoy his two cans of beer in the fridge waiting for him getting home. He was really looking forward to them and when he got home ‘eh son I took your beer cos I didn’t have any but i’ll Get you more tomorrow!’ Nothing was open at the time to buy more. Not on its greedy and rude.

[imaddictedtomn]

I’ve just had the same, OP.

I bought DD a crunchie and hid it in her snack cupboard. (DH has his own snack cupboard)

This morning, DD asked for her crunchie. I go and find 3/4 of it eaten!

I know DH left 1/4 so he can say he didn’t eat it all. But this has enraged DD even more!

When DH comes back later, he’s going to be in big trouble!

[Nettletheelf]

My DH had similar, but less serious, tendencies until I beat them out of him (joking, in case anybody comes on to tell me that I’m an abuser).

He works from home (so is tempted to pick at stuff) but also attempts to be healthy. So when it’s his shopping week - we alternate - he won’t buy chocolate, crisps, ice cream etc. However, he loves having that stuff around, and he’ll often say, “I really fancy a treat, what have we got?”.

He just doesn’t like buying sweet stuff for himself because then he can pretend that it’s somebody else’s fault that he fell off the wagon!

I can have nice things in the house without scoffing them immediately, so when it’s my shopping week I’ll buy all the good stuff. However, I have learned to warn my DH off things that clearly aren’t for him. For example, I bought some kids’ kinder bars for my niece and nephew, hid them in a tin, and he found them and ate them despite them (1) clearly being intended for the children and (2) having been kept out of sight deliberately. Reason: couldn’t find any other nice stuff. Yes, because he’d told me not to buy chocolate that week because he was being healthy!

Another time my dad bought me a box of chocs, not expensive but unusual. I got home to find that DH had broken into them. In fairness he was apologetic and said that he’d get me some more, but the box was a special edition and it had sold out, so I had to have something not quite so nice and not what my dad had picked out for me. DH felt pretty bad about that.

I solved it by agreeing with him that anything kept in particular, named places was not to be tampered with and that if he got a sweet craving during the day he could walk five minutes to the bloody shop and buy something himself! It worked.

Mind you, then I had to move on to explaining that scoffing everything in a bag of sweets apart from one solitary item, because then he can say that he didn’t finish them, isn’t on either.

[Nettletheelf]

Hahahahaha Imaddicted, not just me then!

[Justbookedasummmerholiday]

I would be stashing a bar of laxative chocolate op.....

[MissConductUS]

Some people can get compulsive about foods like chocolate or ice cream because of the way it triggers the rewards center in their brain.

Get him a big bag or two of small wrapped chocolates and tell him to eat those when he feels the urge.

[Justbookedasummmerholiday]

And some people just won't accept that everything isn't just about them - my exh had no respect for things that belonged to me or the dc.

[HeebieJeebies456]

Was he the driving force behind sending your son to boarding school?

Just wondering why he chooses to be so nasty towards your son?

[mustbemad17]

Buy a beating paddle. Then tell him for every food item he steals the person whose item it was gets to administer ten beatings 😂

I'm really territorial over chocolate, especially now i'm pregnant - i've gone off so much food that when i do fancy it i get cross if someone else has eaten it. We all know the drill now; ask before eating if you know it isn't yours. We have things that are just for everyone, but there are certain things I buy that DH doesn't touch unless he asks; same the other way round. Just respectful!

[PovertyPain]

FFS, a grown adult having no self control over a child's chocolate is disgusting. They're saying that their need for chocolate is more important than upsetting their child. That's just bloody selfish.

[FledglingFTB]

He’s an adult, if he wants chocolate he can buy as much as he likes when he chooses. He’s basically stolen from his own child. If it was a sibling, they’d get told off.

[amusedbush]

Threads like these get me really wound up because that behaviour just shows a fundamental lack of respect. It's really sneaky and mean of your DH to not only take and eat someone else's sweets but to root around, take it and stash the bag? Calculated. He had time to think about what he was doing and he still did it.

There are always people on these threads who say 'it's just chocolate' or 'food is for everyone in our house' but really, is it so bloody difficult to give a heads up before you take something? If a pack of treats appeared in the cupboard and I hadn't bought them, I would ask DH before I took one in case they were a present or earmarked for his work, etc.

[gobster]

If it’s something like this, then no YaNBU

It’s clearly unique and a gift and very different from bringing in a generic bar of dairy milk

[freddiemercury]

Gobster that's exactly the one!! Clearly a present thing...not a 'I want chocolate' scenario.
V cool company.. .the boys will be getting some more in their stockings. The husband won't!!

[ijustwannadance]

That set looks amazing and very clearly not just a chocolate fix.

I also think the fact he went looking through bags and ate what is clearly a special item, not just a random mars bar etc, shows how incredibly selfish and self centered your DH is.

That kind of behaviour is nothing like just fancying a bit of chocolate. It is very calculated. He made the choice to eat it knowing damn well it wasn't for him.

[treeofhearts]

I cannot think of anything more unattractive than having to hide things in case he eats them. Fuck that for a lark, I couldn't live like that, I'd have to ditch him. It's like being married to a child, surely?

[Tiredmumno1]

That is so wrong, he can see that it's obviously a gift.

Just slightly off topic, what site are they from? They look fab, may have to order some

[Grilledaubergines]

Don’t these greedy selfish men understand their children will always remember that dad stole their presents.

Hopefully the greedy selfish women who do it remember too.

OP, has your DH actually apologised to your son? Not that I think he deserves forgiveness at this stage.

[Zaphodsotherhead]

Why do you think he did it, OP?

[Ellendegeneres]

Urgh how unattractive of him. Did you post before about him stealing your sons chocolate? I'm sure I've read that on here recently.
What it boils down to is his lack of respect for you and ds. He knows this stuff isn't for him. He just doesn't care that it will upset you. He could claim a lack of self control but it's greedy selfish behaviour that demonstrates clearly the only person he gives a crap about is himself.

[SpottedCow]

It is a LTB from me if the offence involves chocolate, am afraid, OP

[AlexaAmbidextra]

Put a real rusty bolt in the wrapping and let him break his fucking teeth on it.

[GetKnitted]

I would ask the question "are the chocolates more easily replaced than my marriage or vice versa?" and then set about either replacing the chocolates or replacing improving the marriage.

[Ellendegeneres]

alexa that's actually just made me choke on my lemonade. I need op to do this now