To ask what is the worst job application you have read? *lighthearted*

[jobapplicationshock]

Name changed as this is outing.

Someone has been headhunted for a corporate job that she seems to fit exactly. Great education, exemplary recommendations, great networking skills (all according to linkedin)

I was responsible for going through the applications and forwarding on; all great until I got to "the one" and my eyes nearly popped out of my head.

On the "about me" bit she has written "[MNHQ removed as it was identifying]"
Objectives are "[MNHQ removed as it was identifying]".

This is a first time for me, enlighten me with your tales of application woes please

not every brown person tends to have the name 'brown' embedded somewhere in their name

What the hell are you on about?

Brown in a European sounding name, hence why I said the applicant could have been Caribbean as that's where those names still exists from the slave trade.

You thought I thought that the guy is black because his surname is Brown?

I think that makes you a racist.

I think that makes you a racist.

And I think that makes you sound unhinged.

The point I am making is that you cannot always decipher a person's origins via name and name alone. I'm of mixed heritage and nothing in my name would suggest that I am from the country I happened to be born in and is predominately my heritage.

Tom Brown, could be from anywhere.

There's an argument to be made for names that clearly sound 'foreign' in which they don't get selected for interviews even when their qualifications are on par with those that have typically 'western' names. But that's not the case here because I'll say it again: Tom Brown, could be from anywhere

I once got an application by email from someone with sexy.beatch in her email. I did titter mind.

I had a bloke send in some colour photocopies of his amateur artwork. He wasn't very good.

Deputy Headteacher application which was riddled with grammatical errors. No way - don’t tell us how much you can offer our school if you can’t even be bothered to check your application.

A personal favourite of mine came from an American applicant, who really wanted to work at my employer because she had Greek heritage and we were close by.

Well, I guess Germany is actually closer to Greece than the US is.

Especially when you work for a space agency (applicant, not me), everything really is relative.

A girl I used to work with told me and some other colleagues that one of our customers had offered her a job in the office of his house building company.

Bless her. She’d got his name muddled up with a legitimate house building company that was nothing to do with us. Our customer was a mushroom farmer.

Aero I too have a child with SEN and LD's and it is heartbreaking to think of her making horrendous mistakes and being laughed at, which is exactly why I would be getting her assistance for any applications in order to minimise errors. The examples here though do not sound as if that is the case, more they are arrogant chancers who think they are too good and everyone else will not see through them.

I once had a young lady turn up for an interview drunk. And with her Mum. She said she was scared and so had a few drinks to calm her down, and had invited her Mum for moral support as she was shy. This was for a sales job.

It is worrying jobapplication, I don't think she will be able to do GCSEs too

Tom brown could easily be a black British Caribbean

I imagine most of us realise that, but surely the point is that he could be countless other things too - so because they couldn't possibly know, the company didn't have had any racist intent in refusing him?

There's no denying that some racism still exists in employment practice, but it's hard to see how rooting it out is helped by using the word so flippantly and without reason

I received one CV that had a key achievements section, and amongst some decent ones the applicant put down "Received posthumous lifetime achievement award from X overseas magazine".

I would definitely have called them for an interview!

Not cv but I interviewed someone today who answered every question ‘I dunno really’...

Why even turn up?

I received one where the candidate had written under references: "none. I have left a trail of destruction in my wake." Made me smile.

Not so much a job application as a covering letter that my thrn boyfriend was writing when we were students. He had somehow got to the ripe age of 19 without ever having applied for a job so I gave him so e advice.

He wrote 'I have little to offer' as one of the first lines in his letter and was actually offended whrn I told him that was a terrible idea.
It did set the tone for his skills at jobseeking though.

An interview one! I once interviewed for an accountant role in a smallish office - a round table so colleague and I sat opposite the candidate. Who spent his time moving his chair closer to mine. So I moved. As did my colleague. So the interviewee moved closer to me again. And so on. It was bizarre! Went on for the whole interview. It was about 15 years ago, now I wouldn’t hesitate to ask what was going on!

A cv one, not so funny though. Interviewed for another role, very well presented and capable young man who was heads above everyone else. Checked his application out, that time he was unemployed? Nope, in prison for rape. Shudder.

"What do you consider to be your greatest achievement?" "When I successfully installed Gentoo Linux on my PC." Yes, it was a tech role, but we were looking to recruit a human nonetheless...

I used to interview for a company that sent people to work at summer camps in the usa. I was sent one application where the form was not even completed. And I had to try and arrange an interview. I chased and rang and emailed and never heard back. Why bother paying £30 for something you arent sure you want to do?

Why bother paying £30 for something you arent sure you want to do?

The person may have died perhaps

I once interviewed a chap for a job who was at great pains to tell me he wasn't going to work half the advertised hours as he was a grandfather. Because 'grandparents are much more important than parents to kids.

I would have been gobsmacked on any day but it was it was especially jawdropping because I was 8.5 months pregnant at the time and he was supposed to be my maternity cover!

He later emailed to ask why he didn't get the job.

Sadface that made me ! She hadnt. I got one reply from her email from her friend who was checking it for her. Which I thought was odd.

'Why did you leave your last job? - to 19 year old student applying for weekend job
'I went on a bender...missed my train home so didn't go to work that weekend'

another one...
What attracts you to this position?
I heard you pay well and its easy and I don't want work very hard..

another...
Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Not working here that's for sure...

yep..more jobcentre tick boxes...

ginnybag that's a corker! What was he told when he asked why he didn't get it?

Notcitrus that's hilarious! I always like a difficult decision!