To ask what is the worst job application you have read? *lighthearted*

[jobapplicationshock]

Name changed as this is outing.

Someone has been headhunted for a corporate job that she seems to fit exactly. Great education, exemplary recommendations, great networking skills (all according to linkedin)

I was responsible for going through the applications and forwarding on; all great until I got to "the one" and my eyes nearly popped out of my head.

On the "about me" bit she has written "[MNHQ removed as it was identifying]"
Objectives are "[MNHQ removed as it was identifying]".

This is a first time for me, enlighten me with your tales of application woes please

My example was a good few years ago and not in the UK or Ireland. I think the chances of him being traced are low!

This is incredibly outing, but I received a 'severed ear' in the post once.

It doesn't matter, Flavia. You're taking the piss out of someone based on information you had in confidence and from them job-hunting.

It's really nasty.

We had an application at work last week. It simply had his name, address and where he went to school on it

More info needed Mrs.:)

Was it ironic? Was it someone applying for the job of Van Gogh in a theatre production?

I am dying for the context!

MrsGideon are you rachel?!

His ego was more than sufficient to cover any disappointment, don't worry.

It's a bit like applying to be a surgeon based on your ability to remove splinters.

I once received a seven page CV for a teaching job which started, I kid you not, "I was born on a small farm in Idaho."

Not an application, but I was interviewing with my boss for my replacement and when my boss asked the (very cliched) "Where do you see yourself in five years' time" question, she responded with a dreamy sigh: "With a baby!"

She got the job though, was by far the best candidate, and was by all accounts very successful in the role until she went off on maternity leave three years later!

So don't contribute. I don't understand this type of attitude.

Here comes the forum police

Someone wrote across the application 'I am only applying for this so I don't lose my benefits'. I work in the Public Sector

Why is this thread nasty, surely if you're applying for a role its not unreasonable to think that the applicant would have the correct qualifications and a idea of how to write an application for that particular job.

My particular favourite was some guy who wrote under the "what makes your a suitable candidate for this job"?
I'm very good at managing the ladies {wink}.

I did interview him, as the rest of his application was actually quite good, but he reminded me of that guy from White Gold, complete with shiny suit..he did not get the job.

Not an application, I was hiring for the job of PA to a senior manager. His spelling/grammar were rubbish so I specifically told the agency the applicant must have excellent English. At the time of the interview, two girls appeared, I apologised thinking they had been double booked but no, I was informed by one of them that the second girl was the applicant but she couldn't speak English so the first one was there to translate.

I will leave my conversation with the agency to your imagination.

Someone sent a "How to write a CV" word doc. with their applications. I had to email the person to ask them to send their CV.

She’s probably trying her best.

Well her best is clearly not good enough for a professional working environment.

I had one where they had listed ALLLLLLLL their sporting achievements all the way down to U12 England Hockey. U13 England Hockey. U14 England Hockey. U16 England Hockey (what happened to U15?????) University half colours (hockey). University full colours (hockey).

My job does not involve hockey in any way.

My exP told me about a really terrible one, where under hobbies the poor, 20 year old girl had written she liked making Lego models of supermarkets and Pontins camps she'd visited. She then went on to talk about her holidays in Pontins with her many relatives, conversationally, taking up half a page. This was among lots of other strange things all very childishly worded and repetitive. He gave her an interview as she'd never had one before and he thought it would be nice to give her some experience and feedback. Sadly though, when she didn't get the job her mother phoned and harassed him!

I once had one for an admin role where the sole qualification listed was Cycling Proficiency Test...

My boss (years ago) was advertising a vacancy. She was going through the applications when she came out to show us one she was disregarding. The form said “what position are you applying for” the young applicant had wrote “Eny”. For such a simple word that one miss spelling meant she missed out on being called to an interview. The message here is Please check your spellings and grammar on applications and CVs.

When I was in the civil service any applications filled out in blue pen were automatically thrown in the bin, as it stated Black pen only. Again, the guy in charge of recruiting was doing a paper sift and just dumping all the forms filled in in blue. He said, if they can’t follow simple instructions they’re no good to us and proceeded to show me his stack of rejected applications.

We had an applicant who banged on about how much he enjoyed working with the elderly. He was applying for a job as a fork lift driver in a factory! Ok, some of us are the wrong side of 40 but hardly elderly!

I'm not making fun of someone who is under qualified and is making a poor first attempt at applying for a job. This person is a highly qualified emp!oyee in a male dominated industry, known to be highly professional, moves in elite circles, privately educated etc. It is for those reasons that I cannot for the life of me fathom why she added the completely irrelevant and inappropriate info that she did.

In my last job we had a big recruitment every year for temporary employees for an event. All the CVs came from one agency and usually they were pretty good but one really sticks out to me. It was shockingly written, as if written by a six year old. It referenced their "litrary (sp) blog" which contained the worst written reviews of books my Martina Cole mostly. Just truly bizarre phrasing.

Oh, and then there was the guy who genuinely wrote "Sex: Yes please!" - wjth a winky face. Genuinely.

One thing I find weird with CVs in this country, is that people list their GCSE and A level results in their CV, even though they have much higher qualifications (BSc, MSc).

This seems really common but why would anyone care how you did at your GCSEs?

I know someone who accidentally attached the wrong file to an online application. You know the sort where there is an online application process with lots of questions and then you have to attached a CV? Well she attached a poem she had written about slugs instead. (it was a funny poem she had written for me to cheer me up).

When I worked in recruitment it was always the Hobbies/Other interests sections that made me wonder. Not everyone has a lot of hobbies to talk about, which I totally understand but most people who dont have a hobby can at least put down something that they used to do or something like reading etc. The ones which used to come through with "Watching TV & reading Heat Magazine" as the only things in hobbies/interests always baffled me.

the guy who genuinely wrote "Sex: Yes please!"

Why did he write that?

We received a really professional looking CV as an application for a job in the post room of a law firm. The applicant obviously hadn’t checked it himself as on the second page it had [insert some crap about being a good team player here] in bold!