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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How can you NOT get onto a motorway?

382 replies

purplecurtaindog · 31/10/2017 22:15

I have driven on motorways for many years and avaerge 15,000 miles some years as I drive for work. I consider myself a very confident yet safe driver. I have experience driving lorries and an extended professional license.

Never in my 20+ years of driving have I had trouble getting onto a motorway...

Yet my friend told me today that she was not able to join a motorway today, that she matched with speed of traffic but there were 'no gaps.' She got stranded at the end of the slip road, DC in car, and ended up getting a vehicle recovery service to come out and get her car as she was too scared to move onto the motorway from a stop.

She says it was not her fault and that this was not due to fault of her driving.

However I can't see how you could fail to get onto a motorway if you were merging correctly?

I've always matched my speed with the traffic, indicated right, ended up on carriageway. If the traffic is slower, you still match your speed! My guess is she want too fast or slow. Yet she insisted this was not her fault.

So AIBU to not see how a safe and competent driver can get stranded at the end of a slip road? And AIBU to ask if this has ever happened to anyone/ if they've witnessed it?

I personally never have in all my years of driving.

Friend has been driving for ten plus years. I did mention that this shouldn't happen and that it was very dangerous, but I wasn't harsh or rude.

Thank you.

OP posts:
DameBaggySmith · 02/11/2017 21:00

The number of people saying to drive on the hard shoulder scares me greatly. Please do not, it is an offence unless it’s an emergency.

I work on the roads and have seen the accidents that misuse of the hard shoulder can cause.

anotherglassofred · 02/11/2017 21:11

I used to be confident on motorways until a minor accident on the exit slip road where I was stationary at traffic lights and some idiot came belting off the motorway hitting the car behind me which was shunted into mine. Panic attack there and then and not felt able to drive on a motorway since. Don't like being a passenger either. So much bad driving about and my brain cannot cope with the split second decisions you need to make at speed.

So I do feel for your friend and would recommend motorway driving lessons before she loses confidence altogether like I have. You cannot underestimate panic attacks when in charge of a vehicle. If she never drives on a motorway again it is not the end of the world. She can still be a confident driver the rest of the time. I certainly am and for me avoiding motorways is the safest option for myself and everyone else. I do actually enjoy driving!

FruitCider · 02/11/2017 21:15

I’ve had this once on the m4, FOUR lorries all back to back with no adequate braking distance between them and a car in front of me on the slip road doing 55mph, they got on in front of the lorries and I couldn’t. Lorries didn’t move over, they kept going so I was forced to slow down on the hard shoulder, join behind the lorries then wait for a sufficient gap in the middle lane and pull out and speed up to 70mph. Luckily my cars quite quick so acceleration didn’t take long, I wouldn’t fancy doing that in a 1l ka or something! If there hadn’t been a hard shoulder I would have been forced to stop...

FruitCider · 02/11/2017 21:16

* The number of people saying to drive on the hard shoulder scares me greatly. Please do not, it is an offence unless it’s an emergency.*

It is an emergency if the alternative is a high speed collision on the motorway!

FruitCider · 02/11/2017 21:17

* There's a junction on the M5 near Bristol where you have to cross 3 lanes of traffic which is joining (merging and accelerating) in order to get off. I can't believe anyone would design such a dangerous junction, it's terrifying.*

Aztec West by any chance? I hated that junction too, utterly terrifying!

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 02/11/2017 21:22

@DameBaggySmith I think those of us saying that are saying it because we’ve literally never been in this position!

I agree with a PP, OP’s friend probably dithered and wasn’t assertive enough to pull onto the motorway. She then panicked. I can’t see any reason why this would happen if you signal and begin to manoeuvre into an available gap. Traffic does manoeuvre around you too!

blackheartsgirl · 02/11/2017 21:26

It’s happened to me on a slip road on our local bypass, I was going the same speed as people on the bypass but not one bugger would let me in or move over. Ended up with me on the grass verge at the end of the slip road as there was no hard shoulder

I’ve noticed a real lack of road manners the last few years from other drivers

jayne1976 · 02/11/2017 21:28

People don't / can't move over what's she supposed to do stock her nose out and cause and accident?
Agree RAC is extreme but she doesn't have your years of driving experience. To find a gap on a busy motorway that allows you to take off from zero and not put yourself in harms way is tough.

woodhill · 02/11/2017 21:28

It is quite nerve racking joining the motorway but the more you do it etc.

Love roads where the slip road becomes a lane to start with like A40 at J9

Afternooncatnap · 02/11/2017 21:36

I saw someone have this issue on a duel carridgeway the other day. They were matching speed with a lorry. They could have slowed and moved in in front of me but didn't. They just kept going expecting the lorry to move. It was only when the slip ran out and they were on the very narrow hard shoulder that they slowed and went in behind the lorry.

Sarahrellyboo1987 · 02/11/2017 21:41

This hasn't happened to me but I do find that some drivers just don't pull into the middle lane or that if you've got a few HGV's in a row it can be difficult

rubybleu · 02/11/2017 21:44

As foreign drivers, we’ve noticed that that the general skill level in the UK for merging is dreadful. We get taught in Australia/NZ to speed up to the traffic and merge “like a zip”. No one on the motorway moves across or slows down for you; you are responsible for finding your place in the traffic.

We have experienced many drivers expecting to merge from a slip lane 10, 20 miles per hour slower than motorway traffic - no wonder people struggle if they don’t at least get merge at the same speed as the motorway.

drive.govt.nz/get-your-restricted/multi-lane-roads/merging/

JosieJasper · 02/11/2017 21:45

People are very selfish drivers, people on the motorway are supposed to allow merging traffic sufficient space but they often don't as they don't plan ahead, you get a sign telling you giving you plenty of time to hold back to give a big enough space or move over to the middle lane. I'm guessing your friend did similar from her side too and wasn't preparing properly or fully aware of the surroundings. No disrespect OP but everyone thinks they're a great driver and many many accidents are caused by people that truly believe that. Also, there are definitely more accidents caused by people driving too fast.

Lweji · 02/11/2017 21:50

Actually, if you assume that all the other drivers are crap drivers and will do something stupid, you're more likely to be safe, as you antecipate their dangerous sudden moves.
So, assume they won't see you and they won't break for you either.

Meinmytree · 02/11/2017 21:55

The only time I remember having a problem was as a new driver - I had new driver plates on my car and the car behind realised I was struggling so flashed to let me in when he pulled over, positioning himself to shield me.

Now I don't have a problem. I check my mirrors as soon as I can see the traffic so I can move in as soon as possible. For 4 years I drove up and down the M6 to work every day so had plenty of practise, and I live somewhere with a dual carriageway with short sliproads.

I'm also not an idiot driver, as had been suggested at one point - I have fibromyalgia caused by a car crash where the other driver was at fault (pulled out of a junction without looking, and nothing I could do, as not enough stopping room) so I know the consequences odf bad driving.

CauliflowerSqueeze · 02/11/2017 21:58

I used to have that as a recurring nightmare.

picklemepopcorn · 02/11/2017 22:33

It really can happen, even with good drivers. The motorway I drive on regularly has people driving far too close together, so there is no way to push in.

I’ve never been in that position, but I can imagine it happening.

IhateBegonias · 02/11/2017 23:18

You are BU.
This is why I have never ever driven alone on the motorway since passing nearly 8 yrs ago.

I would like to thought.
Might need to take some of those advance driving lessons.

IhateBegonias · 02/11/2017 23:19

*though

exaltedwombat · 03/11/2017 00:11

She lost her nerve. It happens. I thought you girls were more supportive than that? :-)

Lozz22 · 03/11/2017 00:21

Well I don’t feel guilty now for having to get the AA out on Monday afternoon for a flat tire!! (No spare in my car only that spray foam shit)!! Maybe motorway driving should be a mandatory part of learning to drive!! When better to go on a motorway then with a driving instructor who has dual control plus also explaining what to do! One reason I did my pass plus 10 years ago was to get motorway driving experience in. I’ve driven on the motorway 3 times and hated every single moment of coming down the slip road! Once I’m on I’m fine. It’s just a shame our nearest motorway 40 or so miles away!

xotyl · 03/11/2017 00:30

Whilst the Highway Code says that "you should not drive on the hard shoulder" when merging, it also says 'you must not stop on a slip road' the use of 'must not' indicates a law rather than a rule.

So if in that very rare situation, most of us say we have never had a problem with merging, you merge from the hard shoulder rather than stop on the slip road.

I can't work out wether the pp who said you should stop before the end of the slip road was taking the piss - hope so.

limitedperiodonly · 03/11/2017 00:48

It's a Mumsnet trope for people to smugly quote the Highway Code. A bit like 'it's a speed limit not a target'

Abbylee · 03/11/2017 04:46

We lived in an area where this could easily have happened. People were aggressive. We ultimately stopped using signals when changing lanes bc they would block our cars.

I stopped driving on that type of road bc my car was not maneuverable, the speed was extremely fast, the drivers were aggressive.

Oddly, out of the car, they were okay.

Off point, bc i would not back up into traffic, a parent of my dc school sports team pounded on my window at a light. The car in front of him was broken down But i couldn't BACKinto zooming traffic. He got out of his car and swore and hit my car. I stayed put until i could move safely, but my entire body was shaking. Driving is not for the faint hearted.

disahsterdahling · 03/11/2017 07:50

We get taught in Australia/NZ to speed up to the traffic and merge “like a zip”. No one on the motorway moves across or slows down for you; you are responsible for finding your place in the traffic

the layout of the slip roads is different though, at least in WA. You can't really compare, slip roads in the Uk aren't designed in the same way. I would say perhaps they should be, but I have to say I didn't find it too much fun driving on the freeway there, either.