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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How can you NOT get onto a motorway?

382 replies

purplecurtaindog · 31/10/2017 22:15

I have driven on motorways for many years and avaerge 15,000 miles some years as I drive for work. I consider myself a very confident yet safe driver. I have experience driving lorries and an extended professional license.

Never in my 20+ years of driving have I had trouble getting onto a motorway...

Yet my friend told me today that she was not able to join a motorway today, that she matched with speed of traffic but there were 'no gaps.' She got stranded at the end of the slip road, DC in car, and ended up getting a vehicle recovery service to come out and get her car as she was too scared to move onto the motorway from a stop.

She says it was not her fault and that this was not due to fault of her driving.

However I can't see how you could fail to get onto a motorway if you were merging correctly?

I've always matched my speed with the traffic, indicated right, ended up on carriageway. If the traffic is slower, you still match your speed! My guess is she want too fast or slow. Yet she insisted this was not her fault.

So AIBU to not see how a safe and competent driver can get stranded at the end of a slip road? And AIBU to ask if this has ever happened to anyone/ if they've witnessed it?

I personally never have in all my years of driving.

Friend has been driving for ten plus years. I did mention that this shouldn't happen and that it was very dangerous, but I wasn't harsh or rude.

Thank you.

OP posts:
thenightsky · 31/10/2017 22:32

It sounds like the fault lies with the people already on the motorway not keeping a decent distance between themselves and the car in front.

StealthPolarBear · 31/10/2017 22:32

Yay you op.

buntingqueen · 31/10/2017 22:33

I have never had this happen to me, but have had some very close calls, when people are driving far too close together, with literally nowhere for me to go. And also, one idiot who decided to match my speed once they were level with me. I could have predicted what speed I needed had they carried on at a consistent speed, but some people are very unpredictable. Sometimes other drivers are awkward/unaware of others so I can see how this would have happened, and I’m surprised it doesn’t happen more often actually.

Original poster
purplecurtaindog · 31/10/2017 22:33

Although will add that if someone did end up not being able to merge due to an incompetent or idiotic driver in the left hand lane, that's obviously a different scenario.

Another of my friends brakes very heavily when she sees a slip road merging down to 30mph to 'let the cars join.' Which is obviously not a sensible idea with 70mph traffic behind you.

Those already on the carriageway have priority, obviously. So it's a balance of remembering those on the slip road give way to you, whilst being as courteous as possible but still being safe.

OP posts:
soapboxqueen · 31/10/2017 22:33

We don't have many motorways here but I've had to come to a stop when joining traffic as a woman on the road kept slowing down, I assume to let me on, but just not enough so was actually just blocking me. So it does happen.
.
Never heard of the driving down the hard shoulder business.

PurpleDaisies · 31/10/2017 22:34

It must have horrible for her. I’d guess she had a panic attack and couldn’t keep driving.

Sometimes it is hard to join and if there were loads of arseholes together I can see how you might end up not being able to pull out.

HidingBehindTheWallpaper · 31/10/2017 22:34

I agree that I've never had a problem but I can easily see how it could happen.
Some people just simply will not move over or create a space. Sometimes there can be nothing but lorries that won't make a space either.

LouiseH2017 · 31/10/2017 22:34

You should NEVER join the motorway from a stopped position.

The Highway Code states that if you have stopped on the hard shoulder you should use the hard shoulder to build speed to match the traffic before moving on to the motorway.

If you get to the end of the slip road and haven’t joined the motorway you should continue along the slip road (assuming it is safe to do so) and join the motorway as soon as possible.

Incidentally, the person already on the motorway is not required to “give way” (I.e. move over or create a gap) for the pets joining the motorway.

There are far too many nervous drivers on the road who cause accidents and who could benefit from a few refresher lessons.

Monkeypuzzle32 · 31/10/2017 22:36

I've definitely noticed drivers not moving over recently so maybe that's partly why-ive been fed the end of the slip road once but had to just force my way out.

Original poster
purplecurtaindog · 31/10/2017 22:36

I guess my AIBU is focussed more on IF all drivers are following the Highway Code 100% then this should not happen.

This was at about 11AM, there was no heavy traffic and my friend said that none of the other drivers were particularly close. Her exact words were 'they didn't move over.' It seems to have been an issue of her expecting them to move instead of her matching their speed.

OP posts:
IfYouGoDownToTheWoodsToday · 31/10/2017 22:36

“It sounds like the fault lies with the people already on the motorway not keeping a decent distance between themselves and the car in front.“

Exactly!
And you can never assume there will be a space or that people will move over. You should be aware you might have to stop.

Xmasbaby11 · 31/10/2017 22:38

My god, that's my worst nightmare! I'm not ridiculously confident but never had a problem getting onto motorway. It must have been very busy with too close together drivers. I hope it hasn't put your friend off but she might benefit from motorway driving lessons so it doesn't happen again.

SomewhatIdiosyncratic · 31/10/2017 22:38

I've had difficulty several times with a dual carriageway junction near me. Like a motorway, it has a slip road for merging into the flow of traffic, however it has the complication of being a X junction with traffic coming off yards ahead onto the same slip road. At peak times it can be a hideous melée of trying to accelerate to 50mph to join the flow on the main carriageway while simultaneously dodging traffic turning off or keeping left to take the slip road off who are slowing to 20mph ready for a sharp bend. There's very little length of road to play with and all it takes is an awkwardly positioned long vehicle or prat in lane 1 that won't allow any give to merge safely, and it becomes an urgent need to abort mission, brake and stay on the slip road and take a long tour through a small town to try again on the next junction or loop round again. It's like the Coventry Ring Road on acid, without the local coping strategies Grin

A motorway grade junction shouldn't be problematic as it should have sufficient length of merging space to pull in safely, but sometimes that can be complicated by other vehicles at inappropriate speeds or vehicles that hem you in and obstruct the merge. Vehicles on the main carriageway should be alert for traffic joining and be prepared to move into lane 2 if safe and many don't which can hinder safe merging.

PurpleDaisies · 31/10/2017 22:38

This was at about 11AM, there was no heavy traffic and my friend said that none of the other drivers were particularly close.

Were you with your friend? You seem very sure of the exact road situation she was trying to pull out in to.

headintheproverbial · 31/10/2017 22:38

YANBU. Your friend sounds like a total idiot and the idea of phoning the AA in such a situation is preposterous. And with children in the car she's just been downright dangerous.

SilverSpot · 31/10/2017 22:38

Some dipshit in front of me came to a stop at the end of a slip road a few months ago.

Very VERY unusual on proper motor way type roads to not be able to get in.

More common on things like the A1 where some of the slips are super short.

Boulshired · 31/10/2017 22:38

Happened to me once, just about to move across in a good gap when the car in the middle lane pulled into the gap. By the time I had swerved to avoid I had run out of slip road.

EduCated · 31/10/2017 22:38

I struggled recently - a car with a caravan, so essentially double length, just seemed to completely block my way. Managed to get over with front wheels just going over the white lines to the hard shoulder after the car behind slowed right down to let me in (heavy M6 traffic, couldn't move across).

It's certainly not an impossible scenario, but your friend's response to the situation doesn't sound a sensible or safe one.

honeyroar · 31/10/2017 22:39

I think that a lot of drivers don't remotely look for gaps or plan their motorway entry until the last minute and look surprised when there is no immediate gap. Equally quite a few drivers are peevish and don't make it easy for someone joining by pulling out a lane or leaving a gap. I always think at least 50% of motorway drivers nowadays have no spacial awareness.

I am quite a confident, experienced motorway driver, but I detest the junction where the M25 and M4 join right on the Heathrow t5 junction. I curse whoever dreamed that up every time I use it!

LindyHemming · 31/10/2017 22:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

reallyorange · 31/10/2017 22:39

What did the recovery service do?
It's certainly unusual but there are 1) some short slip roads out there where you need to be prepared to get on the motorway asap and 2) some arsehole/oblivious drivers out there

WineAndTiramisu · 31/10/2017 22:40

I've never had that issue either in the past 20 odd years, but if she's expecting them to move over for her, it'll happen a lot more often I'm sure!

unfortunateevents · 31/10/2017 22:41

I can't understand this! Presumably she didn't stop dead at the end of the slip road, get out her phone and remain there until the recovery vehicle came to get her??? Did she end up on the hard shoulder when she ran out of slip road? Why on earth did she not drive a short distance along the hard shoulder and then merge into the traffic when there was a space? How long was she sitting in her vehicle with children while waiting for recovery?!

StealthPolarBear · 31/10/2017 22:41

This just seems like a thread to show off personal driving prowess and knowledge of the highway code

SunnySkiesSleepsintheMorning · 31/10/2017 22:42

stella23 the cars don’t have to move over, they have right of way. If the motorway is chocka in every lane, they may not be able to move over and they have priority over you.