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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How can you NOT get onto a motorway?

382 replies

purplecurtaindog · 31/10/2017 22:15

I have driven on motorways for many years and avaerge 15,000 miles some years as I drive for work. I consider myself a very confident yet safe driver. I have experience driving lorries and an extended professional license.

Never in my 20+ years of driving have I had trouble getting onto a motorway...

Yet my friend told me today that she was not able to join a motorway today, that she matched with speed of traffic but there were 'no gaps.' She got stranded at the end of the slip road, DC in car, and ended up getting a vehicle recovery service to come out and get her car as she was too scared to move onto the motorway from a stop.

She says it was not her fault and that this was not due to fault of her driving.

However I can't see how you could fail to get onto a motorway if you were merging correctly?

I've always matched my speed with the traffic, indicated right, ended up on carriageway. If the traffic is slower, you still match your speed! My guess is she want too fast or slow. Yet she insisted this was not her fault.

So AIBU to not see how a safe and competent driver can get stranded at the end of a slip road? And AIBU to ask if this has ever happened to anyone/ if they've witnessed it?

I personally never have in all my years of driving.

Friend has been driving for ten plus years. I did mention that this shouldn't happen and that it was very dangerous, but I wasn't harsh or rude.

Thank you.

OP posts:
CharlieSierra · 02/11/2017 18:50

Slight change of topic, but somewhere in the UK there is a particular slip road that joins the motorway in the fast lane. Can't remember where - might be spaghetti junction

There's a junction on the M5 near Bristol where you have to cross 3 lanes of traffic which is joining (merging and accelerating) in order to get off. I can't believe anyone would design such a dangerous junction, it's terrifying.

WeAllHaveWings · 02/11/2017 18:50

I’ve been driving in over 30 years and it happened to me once around 5 years ago. I am a confident driver but that was terrifyingy, speeding up to join the traffic while the twat on the motorway seemed to get beside me and match my speed, then suddenly running out of slip road and nowhere to go.

It can happen to anyone so don’t be so naive or vain about your driving skills to think it will never happen to you and your friend should be commended for controlling the situation and stopping without causing an accident. Obviously if it’s a regular occurrence your friend should maybe consider some advanced lessons.

bluepumpkin · 02/11/2017 18:53

I had to stop at the end of a slip road yesterday! Maybe I could have pushed my way on, but it seemed safer to me to stop as I wasn’t convinced I could get on. Luckily THEN the person in the slow lane changed lanes and I got on. Funnily enough I don’t think it’s ever happened to me before but I was a bit stressed about it. Normally people pull over or hang back a bit so you can get on.
It’s also awkward if the slip road is long so you get some speed up before you get a glimpse of the traffic you’re trying to merge with (as they’re lower than you)

Frazzled50yrold · 02/11/2017 19:00

Why not suggest that she takes a lesson with a sympathic driving instructor and focuses entirely on this issue, she's had a traumatic experience and needs to deal with the loss of confidence involved

GeorgeTheHamster · 02/11/2017 19:04

Yes she bollocksed it up.

I've been driving for 30 years and recently passed the advanced motorist test. This has never happened to me. She needed to drive alongside a gap, however small, and make clear to the driver behind the gap that she wanted to pull into it. I imagine she dithered and then braked. Very dangerous.

ShellyBoobs · 02/11/2017 19:13

OP your friend shouldn’t be driving.

She sounds bloody dangerous!

OlennasWimple · 02/11/2017 19:14

I can't even imagine how that conversation with the RAC would go Confused

Biggles398 · 02/11/2017 19:14

I'm still intrigued as to what the RAC/AA did?

brogueish · 02/11/2017 19:19

I feel sorry for her. It's never happened to me but I think you have to be quite assertive/confident to pull out into heavy traffic sometimes. It's not always that easy and if she was getting more and more stressed I can see how someone could just freeze. What a horrible situation to be in. I hope you were more sympathetic when she told you about it.

sherbetpips · 02/11/2017 19:24

There are a lot of people who have no confidence on motorways. Also a lot of drivers do not anticipate the road conditions or traffic. They get to the end of the slip road and then check the traffic flow, hence why they have to stop. My dad once managed to go off at an exit to another motorway because he was too scared to switch lanes due to the trucks. It gets worse this time of year with the fading light and wet weather, I come across drivers on back roads who apply the brakes hard every time they see headlights coming towards them - they cannot see until the car goes past and should not be using the roads in the evening.

user1494488576 · 02/11/2017 19:34

I’m having a tough time adjusting to driving our new gear camper van after 15 years of automatic feeling likes bit of a wimp any one else have this issue any tips to overcome this fear ☹️

morningconstitutional2017 · 02/11/2017 19:34

Your friend had a horrible experience. I wonder if she uses motorways less frequently than you and therefore hasn't built up any good experiences which lead to confidence. Perhaps in the run up to this journey she turned it over in her mind again and again and got into a bit of a tizz about it.

Many of us dread motorway driving due to the higher speeds and I can say that I've very rarely used a motorway since I passed my test seven years ago. The last time I did it really wasn't as bad as I'd dreaded but I wouldn't say that I'm full of confidence.

Thegiantofillinois · 02/11/2017 19:41

There's a twat of a slip road near me. It emerges out of some trees and is very short. Locals know it and account, but the many, many tourists don't. It's notorious for having people have to stop. Doesn't Hal e p th s t the very next slip is fir services , so people are looking at that.

MiddleAgedMinger · 02/11/2017 19:42

I also had an incident where a psychopath in the left hand lane deliberately matched my speed and keep directly alongside me so I couldn't come off the slip road for the M3 while laughing hysterically. Put me off driving on motorways for a long while.

marymoosmum · 02/11/2017 19:49

This has happened to me matched the speed of the other vehicles, indicated to pull onto it but there were no gaps and no one would move into the middle lane to let me out, I didn't have to stop at the end of the slip road as I slowed right down until a gap appeared and floored it, but I nearly had to stop.

PoisonousSmurf · 02/11/2017 20:03

I've been driving for 30 years and the worst junction I ever came across was Junct 40 on the M4 at Port Talbot. You have to drive up a steep ramp with no view of the motorway and then you emerge straight onto it with the tiniest slip road ever. Only place I've ever had to almost stop.

smilingontheinside · 02/11/2017 20:06

This is another reason I do not drive on motorways!

PoisonousSmurf · 02/11/2017 20:11

CharlieSierra. Yes! I know that junct on the M5, it's for the A38 and Aztec West. As a passenger I always close my eyes! I refuse to use it. Would rather go all the way down the A38 for Aztec.

MumsTheWordYouKnow · 02/11/2017 20:14

Purple you are being judgmental and rude. I’ve been driving for 26 years and have had this happen a couple of times. Why exactly are you coming on here, is it the new done thing to slate your ‘friends’ about nothing. Or perhaps you could have a think about how scary that can be and feel some empathy.

Jessikita · 02/11/2017 20:37

Lwjel interesting. I’m not saying you’re wrong as I genuinely don’t know (must google high way code...) but There aren’t any give way signs or the appropriate road marking that indicates give way on the motorways I’ve merged on?

soapboxqueen · 02/11/2017 20:42

Jess the dashed line at the end of the slip road as it meets the motorway means 'give way'

Ohmyfuck · 02/11/2017 20:52

Oh my God! Imagine how terrifying that must have been for her. Sitting stranded with her children in the car, so close to speeding traffic. It must have been absolutely dreadful. Then she tries to talk through the horror of it all with her 'friend' and you tell her how useless she is. Then, still not content with belittling her, you come on here to slag her off too! Wow. Nasty.

DameBaggySmith · 02/11/2017 20:59

There aren’t usually signs but the road markings do indicate you are to give when when merging from an entry slip road.

Mittens1969 · 02/11/2017 20:59

It’s never happened to me in 24 years of driving but it’s always been my worst nightmare. It must have been very scary for your friend and not nice of you to come on here and criticise her.

Peachesandcream15 · 02/11/2017 21:00

I once was driving down the slip road on to the motorway when a car behind me pulled into the motorway before me and then sped up so I couldn't safely join. I can't remember what I did, braked and ended up on the hard shoulder I think. I hate people that do this. You don't overtake someone on the fucking slip road.