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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How can you NOT get onto a motorway?

382 replies

purplecurtaindog · 31/10/2017 22:15

I have driven on motorways for many years and avaerge 15,000 miles some years as I drive for work. I consider myself a very confident yet safe driver. I have experience driving lorries and an extended professional license.

Never in my 20+ years of driving have I had trouble getting onto a motorway...

Yet my friend told me today that she was not able to join a motorway today, that she matched with speed of traffic but there were 'no gaps.' She got stranded at the end of the slip road, DC in car, and ended up getting a vehicle recovery service to come out and get her car as she was too scared to move onto the motorway from a stop.

She says it was not her fault and that this was not due to fault of her driving.

However I can't see how you could fail to get onto a motorway if you were merging correctly?

I've always matched my speed with the traffic, indicated right, ended up on carriageway. If the traffic is slower, you still match your speed! My guess is she want too fast or slow. Yet she insisted this was not her fault.

So AIBU to not see how a safe and competent driver can get stranded at the end of a slip road? And AIBU to ask if this has ever happened to anyone/ if they've witnessed it?

I personally never have in all my years of driving.

Friend has been driving for ten plus years. I did mention that this shouldn't happen and that it was very dangerous, but I wasn't harsh or rude.

Thank you.

OP posts:
safariboot · 02/11/2017 15:13

Shadow666 , if someone drives into a stationary vehicle, usually the driver of the moving vehicle gets the blame. They either didn't avoid the collision due to distraction or substandard driving, or couldn't avoid the collision due to excessive speed.

user1473069303 · 02/11/2017 16:50

I agree with Lethaldrizzle.

I've come to driving relatively late in life (late 30s) and I can't believe how shitty and superior certain people can get behind the wheel. They think they're amazing drivers and they aren't really. They're just drivers like everyone else.

iniquity · 02/11/2017 16:54

Shadow66 the accidents won't be caused by a stationary car though, it would be the driver not paying attention to the road who would be causing the accident.

PolarBearkshire · 02/11/2017 17:34

Judging wont make anybody more safe or your poor friend less panicky. Maybe give her a lesson how to join motorways when there are no gaps- as you sound so good at driving?? Rather than sit here and judge her

OJZJ · 02/11/2017 17:40

NIever stopped and got tge services out but have had to stop to find a big enough gap to merge before (usually if stopped on a motorway service starion)and also I drive on the m20 in Kent 4 times a day at least and sometimes it really f*s me off that there is a completly free lane yet the idiots don't move over to allow people onto the motorway from slip roads inc great big foreign bloody lorries on their way back to the ports who drive past looking down on you trying to merge but don't move over etc ( i do realise it's hard for a lorry to move quickly and safely over to the next lane.... unlike many lorry drivers that just move over whether you are in that lane or not as witnessed the other day when i honestly thought the car in front was a gonner thanks to some idiot pulling into the next lane without looking) I get it every day where there are no gaps and it frequently becomes stressful just trying to get onto a motorway with a child on board so I can empathise with your poor friend... but would also think about hard shoulder safety with a child on board

OJZJ · 02/11/2017 17:41

Oohpolar bear wish I had thought of that answer....
OP listen to the bear!

Attitude84 · 02/11/2017 17:42

See, I’m just a rude arse and would’ve pushed my way on to the motorway. They should’ve either moved for you friend or slowed down to allow her to join.

GerardButlersBird · 02/11/2017 17:42

SantasLittleMonkey your post is v amusing. And I agreed with it.

I also empathise massively with OP's friend/colleague. That's my literal nightmare too and I suspect she may have panicked/had a little anxiety attack hence couldn't take advantage of a gap when she did see one.

I think you are being judgy and superior OP. But then I have a bit of a motorway phobia. And bu a bit, read a Major One (have barely touched a motorway in 20 years). Yes pathetic. But judgy folk don't help with that I can assure you

LizzyELane · 02/11/2017 17:45

I totally get what happened to your friend OP. Passed my test at 19 and drove on motorways okay for a while. Lost my confidence in a similar situation many years ago and haven't driven on them since. Ever. I will go to every length to avoid them and this has cost me time, job opportunities, etc. There's something about that split second combination of timing, high speed and judgement my brain can't cope with so it's safer for me and the other drivers that I stick to non-motorway routes. I have had several colleagues who feel the same. Judy Finnigan can't do motorways! Those that can good on you, you are so lucky, but please don't judge us that can't. Just one of those things.

MiniMum97 · 02/11/2017 17:58

I live near a motorway and have to drive into it everyday. On a number of occasions I have had to stop at the end of the slip road as o was not able to enter the motorway due to heavy traffic. The slip road is shot and there is no hard shoulder. It’s odd to have to call the breakdown truck though. I just normally stop, indicate and wait for a break in traffic or someone to move over so I can get in which they usually do. Seen it happen to lots of other drivers there. I think it does depend on the slip road and heaviness if the traffic. Sometimes you just can’t get on without risking having an accident!

MiniMum97 · 02/11/2017 17:59

Sorry lots of typos. Hopefully you get the gist!!

roundturnandtwohalfhitches · 02/11/2017 18:07

It is entirely possible that no one will let someone onto the motorway from a slip road. All you have to get is 6 or 7 bastard drivers in a row and you're fucked. In 30 years of driving it's nearly happened to me a few times. I agree the main problem with motorway driving is that people drive far too close together. If you leave a safe gap someone fills it. I have had people undertake me to do this in the fast lane. I really think it would be great if somehow cars had sensors that checked how close you were to the car in front. Getting onto a slip road would be a breeze. Traffic would flow more smoothly. More accidents would be avoided.

balsamicbarbara · 02/11/2017 18:08

There are slip lanes on the motorway in the middle of Leeds where you basically get half a second of visibility and bam, the slip lane ends at an acute angle to the road. So stopping is, unfortunately, common. Shouldn't be considered a motorway though IMHO..

chinalass · 02/11/2017 18:09

Sometimes cars don’t make a space. I’ve been driving 20 years and it’s never happened but I’ve seen very very bad driving where people don’t move over or give way for those trying to join from the slip road.

Why you being so judgy anyway - your poor friend!

Psychofortruth · 02/11/2017 18:12

Omg this is awful... your friend should either have to take extra lessons or her licence taken away...

This is a prime example or what is wrong with drivers you just carry on and pull over when there is space... honestly this has never happened to me ever on a motorway... and I just can’t even imagine this happening it’s just doesn’t sound rational why would she think about pulling onto a motorway from stationary I mean really so many kind boggling things to consider....

GlomOfNit · 02/11/2017 18:14

Good for you, OP. Jolly, jolly good for you. Mind those judgy pants don't choke you, won't you?

I am also a safe driver and I think, fairly confident. Apart from motorways. I don't have much motorway experience and frankly they scare me. I can easily imagine getting into the sort of state that the OP describes. That might be because I have imagination and compassion, mind...

Hellomaryimback · 02/11/2017 18:15

This happened to me when I'd just passed with a new baby in my car.

Very short slip road and a convoy of artic lorrys tsiling each other. It was terrifying as I was running out of road. Right at what seemed the last min a car slowed down just as they passed and let me in. Horrible

pollymere · 02/11/2017 18:26

I once had to stop at the bottom of a slip road as it just ran out before I could get on. The motorway was just very busy. Eventually there was a gap and I drove on. Usually a car will alter pace to let you on if they see this is going to happen, or change lanes but this just didn't happen. I got stuck due to lots of long lorries almost tail to tail.

lionheart · 02/11/2017 18:29

Once, tailgailed by a coach that blocked my entire view and kept beeping and gesticulating for me to get on--all I could see in my mirrors was the coach and the driver.

lionheart · 02/11/2017 18:30

Cyberwar indeed.

www.apnews.com/3bca5267d4544508bb523fa0db462cb2

lionheart · 02/11/2017 18:32

Sorry, wrong thread and multitasking fail. Smile

letdownalittleagain · 02/11/2017 18:33

There’s a ‘smart motorway’ near me, no hard shoulder. Really silly short slip road. There was a few weeks ago a slow moving bumper to bumper convey of VW camper vans in the left lane! It was so so stupid, never seen anything like it. I nearly stopped tbh but as it was so slow moving I managed to force one a bit!

Jessikita · 02/11/2017 18:37

Sometimes you have to be “aggressive to join. I’ve had it where it’s been bumper to bumper, I’ve driven correctly and indicated and no one would let me in so I had to “cut” someone up and then they’ve flashed and beeped etc.

I thought it was a merge lane so the traffic “had” to let you merge on!

Roomster101 · 02/11/2017 18:38

I drive every day on the motor way and occasionally if it is very busy with loads of lorrys it can be very very difficult. I can imagine having to stop and wait until there was space. The fact that your friend called a recovery service to come and get her suggests that she is not used to motorways. I know people who won't go on motorways at all so not that surprising.

Lweji · 02/11/2017 18:43

I thought it was a merge lane so the traffic “had” to let you merge on!

No, they don't. That's what the "give way" sign is for.
It may not be safe for cars already on the motorway to change lanes or even to break to let you in.

But, yes, sometimes you end up merging at a risk or you'll end up waiting for ages for an appropriate gap, thus causing a traffic jam on the slip road.