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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to expect nursery to get on with it?

133 replies

Adelina15 · 31/10/2017 08:12

DD, age 2.5 attends a full time day nursery. Last week we were on holiday in U.S., came home on Sunday. On Monday we slept in (probably jetlagged, exhausted aftrr the travelling etc) and we didnt get DD dropped off until 11.40am. Staff asked if she needed a lunch- Hmm yes- it was 11.40am- presumed lunch was at least after 12.

On collecting her staff 'had a word' about phoning in if she was going to be late so they could keep her a lunch. Explained that we had slept in but I would endevour to do this in future. Again when I dropped her off this morning the manager reinforced that we should phone if late, but then threw in about the days she visits her grandparents.

Once every 6-8 weeks DD spends a day with her grandparents. Nursery are always told 2-3 days in advance that DD will be having a day off. This has never been an issue.

AIBU to think I pay enough for her nursery place, which is over the odds locally, to not listen crap like that? Shes been going for 2 years without issue. AIBU to be pissed off?

OP posts:
RaptorsCantPlayPoker · 31/10/2017 08:14

Yes you are.

It’s just good manners to let them know she will be coming in very late otherwise how do they know to save her food? Do you expect them to prepare or save her a meal on the off chance you bring her in a couple of hours late?

monkeywithacowface · 31/10/2017 08:16

Yes you sound very arrogant. It is simple courtesy to keep people informed if your daughter will be attending or not so they can plan. Manners cost nothing.

buntingqueen · 31/10/2017 08:16

If I were to drop my DC off at 11.40, their nursery would say something too, as they would have presumed they weren’t going in that day. That is quite late if you haven’t let them know. Lunches are made based on how many children are present in the morning, not at 11.40.

Lules · 31/10/2017 08:16

Why wouldn't you phone? I don't see why you wouldn't. Easy enough to do

KadabrasSpoon · 31/10/2017 08:18

Yes you should let them know if she's going to miss the entire morning. I know ours plan staff numbers around the number of children and meal plan.

I can't see the problem with her staying with her grandparents if you've given them advance warning though.

SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower · 31/10/2017 08:19

As she was late they probably assumed she wasn't going to be in, and hadn't prepared a lunch for her.

Our nursery asks us to let them know scheduled days off so they can make sure they've got enough food and to minimise wastage.

YABU

laurzj82 · 31/10/2017 08:19

Yes sorry I think YABU. They will need to tell the kitchen how many dinners they will need. Don't see the issue with the grandparents though if they know in advance Confused

Caulk · 31/10/2017 08:19

I assume with lunches they have to order them/prepare them earlier than 20mins before eating them and therefore they need to know if she is eating or not. I’m also yet to be at a nursery that hasn’t begun the lunch routine by 11:40!

Alicetherabbit · 31/10/2017 08:20

They shouldn't have said anything if it's a one off and late in, am sure the chef can put a sarnie together.
Yanbu regarding notice when she's at grandparents if you pay for the place then it should be open to you. My nursery have asked this so they can arrange staff time off, but my thoughts are the nursery days are for my convenience if I'm paying and I need childcare her space should be there.

putdownyourphone · 31/10/2017 08:22

Lunch at our nursery is 11. I think saying they should just get on with it is a little harsh, it's good manners to tell them you'll be late

Original poster
Adelina15 · 31/10/2017 08:23

We woke up 20mins before she arrived at nursery. I think they should have expected her for her lunch, given that we hadnt notified them otherwise.

OP posts:
confusedlittleone · 31/10/2017 08:23

Lunch at our nursery is also around 11:30, old nursery was 11.. most nurserys have lunch before 12, but you should also be aware of their routine??

Witsender · 31/10/2017 08:25

Of course YANBU. That late they will have assumed she wasn't coming. Why would they expect her when she was that late?

fucksakefay · 31/10/2017 08:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fluffyears · 31/10/2017 08:26

Phoning would have taken you five minutes and the nursery would have been able to sort everything out. Turning up late without a word is just rude.

PatriciaHolm · 31/10/2017 08:26

Why would they prepare a lunch for an absent child?

DewDropsonKittens · 31/10/2017 08:27

YABU

If she is not going to be in you should be making them aware.
It could be they book temp staff to cover ratio, then if you don't show up for the AM session they will be paying for no reason.

It's courtesy more than anything

Appuskidu · 31/10/2017 08:28

We woke up 20mins before she arrived at nursery. I think they should have expected her for her lunch, given that we hadnt notified them otherwise.

They will not have expected her for lunch, no!

InDubiousBattle · 31/10/2017 08:28

YABU, they probably took her absence to mean, well, she was absent and therefore not need lunch. Getting several children ready for lunch in a nursery setting takes longer than getting one ready at home and every nursery I know of would have started the routine at 11.30.

RolyRocks · 31/10/2017 08:29

My 2.5 year old DD has lunch at nursery at 11:30 so yes, in that respect, YABU to assume yours doesn't.

In addition, although it was a genuine mistake to lie in, the nursery still need to know where your DC is, if they are expecting them in case something has happened, so they are perfectly reasonable to ask you in the future, based on this incident, to let them know.

You seem to be far too offended by a reasonable request for needing lunch and another reasonable request to let them know if you are late.

Youshallnotpass · 31/10/2017 08:31

Quite frankly beings so late I think you are lucky they accepted her at all for that day! considering ratios etc.

Yes, YAVBU

Wightintheghoulies · 31/10/2017 08:32

YABU. The nursery isn't psychic, they had no idea that you had decided that your daughter was coming in late rather than not at all. If you are expected anywhere at a certain time and know you'll be late or not coming, you always ring. This is very basic stuff, why do you think you are a special case?

SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower · 31/10/2017 08:34

So they're mindreaders now?

Original poster
Adelina15 · 31/10/2017 08:37

"Lucky they accepted her at all"??? I pay huge fees for her to have a full day place 5 days week. Its not good luck that they provide the service.

OP posts:
pret · 31/10/2017 08:41

If a kid hasn’t turned up by 11 ish why should they expect them at all?