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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to expect nursery to get on with it?

133 replies

Adelina15 · 31/10/2017 08:12

DD, age 2.5 attends a full time day nursery. Last week we were on holiday in U.S., came home on Sunday. On Monday we slept in (probably jetlagged, exhausted aftrr the travelling etc) and we didnt get DD dropped off until 11.40am. Staff asked if she needed a lunch- Hmm yes- it was 11.40am- presumed lunch was at least after 12.

On collecting her staff 'had a word' about phoning in if she was going to be late so they could keep her a lunch. Explained that we had slept in but I would endevour to do this in future. Again when I dropped her off this morning the manager reinforced that we should phone if late, but then threw in about the days she visits her grandparents.

Once every 6-8 weeks DD spends a day with her grandparents. Nursery are always told 2-3 days in advance that DD will be having a day off. This has never been an issue.

AIBU to think I pay enough for her nursery place, which is over the odds locally, to not listen crap like that? Shes been going for 2 years without issue. AIBU to be pissed off?

OP posts:
Ecureuil · 31/10/2017 16:56

£1200 a week?!

MyDcAreMarvel · 31/10/2017 16:58

"Do you expect them to prepare or save her a meal on the off chance you bring her in a couple of hours late?"
As it is a private nursery of course you would expect that. The lunch and the time to prepare it has been paid for in advance.

Willow2017 · 31/10/2017 17:19

Wow i am in the wrong job burn £240 a day!!!

HarveySchlumpfenburger · 31/10/2017 17:22

I don't think most reasonable people would expect that at all MyDC. It would be quite reasonable to assume any child that wasn't present half an hour before lunch wouldn't need one. Especially if that child often takes whole days off.

Not that the nursery refused a lunch anyway. Their only crime seems to have been asking if she would need lunch. Which is good manners and what I'd expect them to do.

Willow2017 · 31/10/2017 17:23

Mydc
Dont be daft.
If you are approx 3 hours late for something then people will think you ate not coming so wont have prepared anything for you. Why should the whole routine be disrupted because op didnt bother to just call and tell them what happened and check she was still in time for lunch?

GammaDelta · 31/10/2017 18:05

YANBU..
if you can phone in that's better but if you can't i don't see what the big deal about it

MyDcAreMarvel · 31/10/2017 18:07

How is anything disrupted. The lunch was paid for, therefore it should be made.
If it's not needed then a staff member can eat it, or it can be disposed of.

maddiemookins16mum · 31/10/2017 18:09

It just seems you are 'angry' at the nursery or resentful she has to go anyway and you treat them with a sort of disdain almost.

PepperSteaks · 31/10/2017 18:17

I got a phone call telling me off because DD was dropped off 11 minutes late! Yes you should have let them know.

Willow2017 · 31/10/2017 18:26

Because the lunch would have been ordered hours before the child turned up.

If you are hours late its safe to day you are not coming and not prepare anything for you. If you turn up in the middle of lunchtime expecting someone to start preparing you a meal its a bit entitled. Possibly there was enough to give her something but nurserys are losing money due to gov 'free childcare' that nurseries and child care providers are subsidising and running on very tight margins they cannot afford to make meals (which could be thrown out) just in case someone turns up 2 - 3 hours late.

MyDcAreMarvel · 31/10/2017 18:57

Willow the meal is paid for regardless.

Wightintheghoulies · 31/10/2017 19:11

Willow the meal is paid for regardless.

And? Paying for the meal doesn't mean that not confirming attendance gives the right to have it whenever you decide to turn up. As I said in a previous post, I used to work in a small hotel where people would pay for room and breakfast in booking. If they turned up late in the morning then it didn't matter they had paid, they were late and therefore defaulted on having the breakfast they paid for. The breakfast staff weren't going to wait around all day hoping the guests would grace them with their presence.

KalaLaka · 31/10/2017 19:15

YANBU.

Willow2017 · 31/10/2017 19:38

Nydc
So?
If you hadnt turned up at my setting after nearly 3 hours i wouldnt have made anything for your child presumimg they were not coming.

If you rocked up at my setting too late for lunch without the decency to call and say what had happened and you were on the way i wouldnt be happy to disrupt the routine of the rest of the day to make a meal for one kid.

DailyMailReadersAreThick · 31/10/2017 21:24

YABU about the lunch thing but YANBU around the rest. I'd be annoyed to be told off by the staff and AGAIN by the manager, and I don't see what the problem is with your daughter having days off.

MyDcAreMarvel · 31/10/2017 21:30

Whight paying for the meal should mean that if you turn up by the time meals are served you should get one.
The op dc wasn't late for lunch. Lunch I assume was at 12pm.
If went to the restaurant in the hotel where you worked, twenty minutes before meals were being served I would expect one.

Strictly1 · 31/10/2017 21:38

Just because you have paid does not mean you don’t need basic manners! I would be cross at your attitude.

Emus · 31/10/2017 21:41

I think you YABU on this occasion. It’s not like you were an hour late after all. At that time of day, and presumably so close to lunch, I would have assumed she wasn’t attending.

Why didn’t you at least call when you were on your way in - to give them some advanced warning?

I’d be pissed off to be pulled up twice on it though. Draw a line underneath, it’s unlikely to happen again.

QuackDuckQuack · 31/10/2017 22:07

I’m surprised that the safeguarding issue of children not arriving when expected hasn’t been raised. Some schools and nurseries have a policy of contacting parents if a child doesn’t arrive when expected in case something has gone awry. Occasionally parents strap a child in the car seat and accidentally drive straight to work, forgetting that their child is still in the car. On sunny days children have died. Or a parent may have collapsed leaving a toddler with no adult care. Luckily these are rare occurrences, but they do happen. It is a courtesy to contact the school or nursery, at about the time your child is due in, to confirm that they won’t be in, but it’s nothing untoward.

arethereanyleftatall · 31/10/2017 22:27

The difference between those saying yabu, and the (thankfully) fewer people saying Yanbu, is manners.

Yes, you may have paid for it, yes you may be entitled (oh the irony) to turn up whenever, but it's simple manners to call.

lilly0 · 31/10/2017 22:32

YABU for not calling them but YANBU for expecting to be able to drop DC off when you like it's nursery which you pay for not formal education you should keep nursery in the loop though x

Willow2017 · 31/10/2017 23:01

Mydc
Every nursery worker on this thread has said lunch is usually started from 11am onwards so at 11.40 op was very late.

MyDcAreMarvel · 01/11/2017 00:00

Not served at 11 , started to prepare at 11. They should have prepared a lunch.

Willow2017 · 01/11/2017 00:19

Why on earth should they prepared a lunch for someone who hadnt shown up that day? Were they supposed to be psychic and know op was going to turn up at 11.40?
Its a nursery run on set times not a drop in centre.

There are at least 2 posts on here saying thier nursery's lunch is at 11. Cant be bothered to look for more but others say they start eatung at 11.30.
More say lunches are ordered mid morning. If ops child isnt there they won't order one for them why would they?

QuackPorridgeBacon · 01/11/2017 11:29

I’d have thought that if you pay for the meal then it should be prepared. If not, they could give the money back I guess. Next time op, just call as or before you are getting ready to leave. I’m always quick to phone as I hate feeling like I’m being rude so always make sure to phone as soon as I can. I do think though that if you pay for the meal it should be made, you could of had an appointment (last minute) and forgot your phone etc which means no way of calling but the child would still need a lunch. If it’s paid for they should make it basically.

Them banging on about the same thing to you was rude. This isn’t normal for you so their need to berate you was uncalled for really.

Just call next time, as soon as you know you are getting her ready to bring in just call first.