Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Original poster

AIBU to expect nursery to get on with it?

133 replies

Adelina15 · 31/10/2017 08:12

DD, age 2.5 attends a full time day nursery. Last week we were on holiday in U.S., came home on Sunday. On Monday we slept in (probably jetlagged, exhausted aftrr the travelling etc) and we didnt get DD dropped off until 11.40am. Staff asked if she needed a lunch- yes- it was 11.40am- presumed lunch was at least after 12.

On collecting her staff 'had a word' about phoning in if she was going to be late so they could keep her a lunch. Explained that we had slept in but I would endevour to do this in future. Again when I dropped her off this morning the manager reinforced that we should phone if late, but then threw in about the days she visits her grandparents.

Once every 6-8 weeks DD spends a day with her grandparents. Nursery are always told 2-3 days in advance that DD will be having a day off. This has never been an issue.

AIBU to think I pay enough for her nursery place, which is over the odds locally, to not listen crap like that? Shes been going for 2 years without issue. AIBU to be pissed off?

OP posts:

outedmyselfagain · 31/10/2017 09:50

Our nursery says you need to phone by 9.30 to let them know if you’re going to be late or if they’re not coming in.

Surely you could have emailed the day before and said that you would endeavour to have her in as early as possible but because you’d just got back and because of jet lag if she was sleeping then she’d be late.

Yes, you are paying a lot of money but they still don’t want to make extra lunches for people who aren’t there. They need to plan staff rotas, staff holidays and meals and having kids off makes a difference to that.

That said, I’ve only ever taken my kids out for one day not through sickness. They don’t attend 5 days a week, there are 3 of them and if I’m going to pay £175 anyway then I’d prefer that they were there!

One has a lot of hospital appointments that I have to take him out for and they’ve always been pretty good about keeping him lunch and letting me drop him off whenever we’ve finished at the hospital.

Groovee · 31/10/2017 09:51

I don’t think they were unreasonable. If they are cooking lunch it’s likely the cook took numbers when the morning snack was provided to cook and not be wasteful. You might pay extortionate fees but it’s still expensive to run a Nursery.

If a child isn’t in by 9.30am we do not expect them in. We will try a courtesy call if it’s possible.

viques · 31/10/2017 09:52

I don't understand why you took her in at all! You woke up 20 minutes before you took her in, so managed to wash her, dress her, get out of the house and travel there in 20 minutes while you were also tired and she was probably still grumpy. Why did your holiday travel plans not include you all having a chill out day on the Monday? You don't say what YOUR plans were for the rest of the day but it doesn't sound as though you were off to work. I think to drag a sleepy jet lagged child out to nursery and then kick off on here because they asked you to contact them earlier in future if you wanted lunch for her IS unreasonable, but it's not the nursery being unreasonable, it's you.

Yes you pay a lot for your place, but that does not mean that the nursery should be expected to cater to your whims and fancies .

RafikiIsTheBest · 31/10/2017 09:53

OP do you still pay for the full day and for the days that your DD is with her grandparents?
If so I don't get the big deal. Yeah if everyone did the same all the time (rolled in late) then it would cause more issues with dinner, but as a one off they could just explain that in future could you try to phone ahead or let them know in advance so they have correct numbers for dinners. As a one off they should have enough 'seconds' to make up another plate? Don't settings do extras anymore for those children that are extra hungry that day? We all know kids go through these phases of eating more...

As for people arguing about the staff, those working in nurseries get paid crappy wages. I used to work in one and hated that when a child or two were off that they could decide that you weren't needed, so sent you off to the staff room where you could wait unpaid to see if they would turn up or sent home unpaid... but then if they turned up later on, of course, you were needed for numbers so were expected to teleport or something... all the while the parents still paid so the nursery still had the same money to pay wages regardless of the number of children in that day.

mummabear17 · 31/10/2017 09:57

The Nursery I work at does lunch at Just gone 11 but would prepare for however many children are due in and save a lunch wether they’re there or not but parents do usually Phone/email anyway so doesn’t sound like an issue to me but that’s our Nursery. However if what you described is how they usually do things/expect you to let them know then probably a quick phone call/email would’ve been best.

Londonmamabychance · 31/10/2017 09:57

Why not just let them know? When my kids are to come in late, I always inform nursery and I also inform them when the kids will be off. It's in your interest to A) maintain a good relationship with the nursery 2) help the staff run the nursery smoothly (or knowing how much food to prepare, how much staff they need, what activities they can plan with the number of kids who will be there on the day.) do you also not call to Lerner them know if your child Ian ill and won't attend?

dontquotemeondailymail · 31/10/2017 09:59

They've mentioned the grandparents thing as an example - "your daughter often takes a day off to see grandparents, so as it got to 11 and we still hadn't heard from you, it was reasonable to assume she was with her grandparents".

If you were coming back from the states on Sunday, it's not a giant leap to assume you'll be tired the following day - you could have warned the nursery in advance that you may be late, but you're still coming.

Bonobosown · 31/10/2017 10:00

Doubt op will be back

Viviennemary · 31/10/2017 10:01

Well I can see your point a bit if you are paying for the lunches and her days off. But if you didn't arrive till nearly 12 for a morning session it would be reasonable for them to assume you are not turning up.

Ecureuil · 31/10/2017 10:02

So this is hardly the massive crime it's being made out to be. The nursery will cope

No it’s not a massive crime at all. It’s still bad manners though.

martellandginger · 31/10/2017 10:09

I know you think you are paying for a service and deserve gold star treatment..... But really for you to have some manners would cost nothing.

Maybe if your family popped in 20 mins before you serviced dinner and expected some you might realise how silly you sound.

Nursery staff are notoriously low paid and most businesses are struggling to accommodate the free hours.

Talith · 31/10/2017 10:10

I don't think you're being particularly unreasonable. The nursery we used to use wouldn't have needed a daily update on whether or not the kids were attending on the paid days. They'd have presumed (paid for) food would need to be available on paid for days, and I can't imagine them complaining if we were a no show, especially as it sounds like you generally give notice.

SeaSawRocker · 31/10/2017 10:12

My daughters Nursery ask you to let them know as soon as possible if the child is going to be late/not in. If a child isn't in by 10.30 and you haven't let them know they're going to be late then they assume you won't be in and so there will be no lunch.

Also my daughters nursery use other childrens spaces when they're off as settling in/emergency childcare. If you haven;t rung in by 10.30 they're likely to ring another parent and say "We have a space if you want to bring your child in between x and y for settling in".

GrumpyOldBag · 31/10/2017 10:15

I see, OP is one of those.

Isthatwhatdemonsdo · 31/10/2017 10:16

I see your "that parent" OP. Rude and entitled. Feel sorry for the Nursery staff.

SillyMoomin · 31/10/2017 10:18

this thread will get deleted for "privacy reasons"

UserThenLotsOfNumbers · 31/10/2017 10:28

Yabu
It’s polite to let them know you’d be late, and of course they would want to check if your child needs lunch or not. They sound pretty on the ball to be honest.

coddiwomple · 31/10/2017 10:39

Why on earth would anyone think it's ok not to warn a nursery if the child is coming or not? Even if you pay a lot of money, hasn't it occur to you that some activities are organised based on which children are attending that day, and how many they are? Why do you want your child to miss out ?

OP, of course you are BU, and quite rude. It is strange to have so much contempt for people who are after all looking after your child.

DontKnowWhatToDo123 · 31/10/2017 10:43

Yes YABU!!!
1...I have worked in nurseries and they have all had lunch at 11.30....yabu to expect them to cook your dd a meal everyday on the off chance you turn up after lunch time insisting your child hasnt eaten.
2...why didn't you feed your dd before taking her to nursery? if she had just got up then she was probably hungry, you could have given her some breakfast or lunch yourself.
3... you woke up 20 min before she arrived at nursery??? so you woke up, threw her in the car and took her to nursery? I assume you weren't working that day so what was the huge rush to drop her off? its a day nursery not school...so isn't compulsory to attend.

You wouldn't have been unreasonable to get up (even late...its a private nursery, your dd is 2.5 it's not compulsory that you HAVE to send her), give her lunch, phone nursery and say sorry we slept in I'll be bringing her in for the afternoon session while I get the clothes washed and some shopping in (or whatever else you had to do)

UserThenLotsOfNumbers · 31/10/2017 10:45

I don’t think OP will be back...

MsPassepartout · 31/10/2017 11:00

The nursery my DC went to typically started serving lunch around 11:45am, so dropping a child off without warning at 11:40 could easily mean that they’d have not catered for a meal for that child.

It’s not unreasonable for them to assume she’d not be in for lunch if you’re dropping off that late. IIRC our nursery asked parents to call by 9:30am if their child was going to be late / absent.

burntup · 31/10/2017 14:19

Op I don't think yabu at all. Your paying for a service. They have told you once that it would be helpful if you phoned in when late. Thy don't need to labour the point and take you to one side to tell you off again like a naughty child. Fuck that when you are prob paying £1200 a week.

RolyRocks · 31/10/2017 14:42

I'm paying £1350 per month and I still think the OP is unreasonable because although the OP is acting like they were being told off like a naughty child, going by their OP and subsequent posts, she probably over-reacted there and then and in reality, they were just politely reminding the OP of the contract that they freely signed up to.

Anyway, I too don't think the OP will return as they probably enjoy frothing at the mouth at non-situations. Either that or jet lag doesn't agree with them.

Appuskidu · 31/10/2017 15:42

Fuck that when you are prob paying £1200 a week

That's a jolly expensive nursery!

notsohippychick · 31/10/2017 15:50

Of course you are being unreasonable!

If you dropped her at 1140am they would assume you are not coming. They could have shifted staff around if they thought they had knee leas child to accommodate sickness or absense if staff elsewhere.

Lunch is at 1130 at my sons nursery so they probably assumed she was missing it.

Common manners cost nothing, just because you pay for a service, doesn’t mean you have to be so rude and entitled.

If you speak the way you write, which slaps of arrogance and haughtiness, I’d suggest adopting a different tone with the nursery.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6