AIBU to expect nursery to get on with it?

[Adelina15]

DD, age 2.5 attends a full time day nursery. Last week we were on holiday in U.S., came home on Sunday. On Monday we slept in (probably jetlagged, exhausted aftrr the travelling etc) and we didnt get DD dropped off until 11.40am. Staff asked if she needed a lunch- yes- it was 11.40am- presumed lunch was at least after 12.

On collecting her staff 'had a word' about phoning in if she was going to be late so they could keep her a lunch. Explained that we had slept in but I would endevour to do this in future. Again when I dropped her off this morning the manager reinforced that we should phone if late, but then threw in about the days she visits her grandparents.

Once every 6-8 weeks DD spends a day with her grandparents. Nursery are always told 2-3 days in advance that DD will be having a day off. This has never been an issue.

AIBU to think I pay enough for her nursery place, which is over the odds locally, to not listen crap like that? Shes been going for 2 years without issue. AIBU to be pissed off?

There'd be no need to raise fees unless they're banking on parents paying for unused care/food.

If nursery built in a discount for absent days into their fees there'd be an incentive to give them notice. As I'm paying full price anyway, I don't worry too much about giving advance notice, I'll just mention it the week before.

Our nursery serve lunch at 11:30, so 11:40 would be v late.

You sound like you think everyone should bow down to you and your money.

Good luck

Another reason that it's unreasonable is that it could affect ratios.

As you were so late and they'd obviously assumed your DD wasn't coming, it's entirely possible that they may have accepted another child as a one off.
I've done this in the past when I've had emergencies - rung nursery and asked them if they could take DS on a day he wouldn't usually be there.

Disa

Its not run for the benefit of the parents its a business same as any other.

You wouldn't rock up to a restaurant and expect them to provide a meal after the kitchen was closed. You wouldn't expect them to be psychic and know you were comming hours late. Same principle they arent running the restaurant for your benefit.

It's unanimous, yet OP is still insisting she's in the right! Of course you call to let them know...

YABVU. You need to let them know if she's going to be late, and give them more notice where possible about days off.

Just because you pay them doesn't give you a right to treat them like shit, which you are doing.

"I think they should have expected her for her lunch, given that we hadnt notified them otherwise."

That's not how nurseries work. If they have a meal service, they will need to order when they know who's arrived for the day. Worst case scenario, they might be able to let someone have time off if your DD doesn't come in and then she arrives very late and they are breaching required ratios.

Bottom line: You asked AIBU. You have been clearly told by everyone that your assumptions were wrong. The nursery have made their expectations clear. Just say 'OK, I get it now, I'll be a bit more considerate in future'.

Most nurseries I've worked in cook some extra meals incase of spillages etc which then get offered to the staff if they are unused. I can't think of any I've worked in that would only provide the exact amount.

I would imagine the issue is more likely to be that they offer the space to parents who ring and ask for an extra session so if the missing child then turns up they might not have correct ratios.

At school lunches are ordered by 10am here. If a child isn't in by then and we've not had a phone call then no lunch will be prepared for them. Same principle in a nursery I assume

You wouldn't rock up to a restaurant and expect them to provide a meal after the kitchen was closed.

Having worked in a kitchen, you'd be shocked how many people think it's ok to demand something after the kitchen has closed (even though opening times are very clear). 'Oh come on, we see people back there, how difficult is it to make a sandwich/some chips/put something in the microwave'. Apparently it's not ok to think these people entitled/rude/arrogant though.

Nursery would be assuming your child wasn’t coming in if you were that late and they hadn’t heard from from you. Lunches would have already been organised, they were perfectly reasonable to ask if she needed lunch and to ask that you let them know if arriving late in future.

Communication is a two way street. You’d expect them to let you know of any changes. They need to know about days off and late drop offs so they are organised and things run smoothly.

How much you pay is irrelevant, it’s just common courtesy. The nursery doesn’t revolve around you and your child. Imagine if every parent had that attitude, daily routine would go out of the window and ratios would be all over the place.

YABtotallyU. 2 days notice isn't enough for a non-emergency non-attendance day. They plan their meals etc much further in advance. We have to give two weeks' notice at ours for stuff like that which is more than fair enough.

And YABVU and rude not to call if she is going to be late. That's just common courtesy surely.

Wight
I can well imagine. I work in a busy cafe and we can be running around cleaning everything in sight so we can go home at a reasonable time and still have people sitting talking after they are long finished thier meal 2 minutes before closing then decide they want pudding/cakes to take away. Seriously people use some common sense.

Entitled much?

This is OP's first post I see.

Going to disagree somewhat with the consensus here. OP pays for the place and the nursery have to always assume she is using it unless told otherwise. So comments like

Quite frankly beings so late I think you are lucky they accepted her at all for that day! considering ratios etc.

are just daft. The nursery would have to make it work in the unlikely event that on that day they just happen to have accepted another child at the last minute.

It's inconvenient for them about lunch numbers, yes, but as Notso pointed out, no one cooks exactly the amount of food required and no more - especially for small children where it's very likely some will drop theirs on the floor etc. So this is hardly the massive crime it's being made out to be. The nursery will cope. People seem to be enjoying having a go at OP though.

I think even though you woke only 20 mins before dropping a quick call as soon as you woke to say yes still coming in - terribly sorry overslept due to jet lag etc. Will we be in time for lunch? Or do you need me to feed her first?

Comments a to ratios irrelevant as she was expected so should have been staffed up - you are paying them and they don't give a refund after all.

Comments re provision of lunch are relevant - hence you should have phoned and asked.

The Granny thing is also irrelevant - thats just them being control freaks and trying to sell the space that day onto someone else more than likely

We woke up 20mins before she arrived at nursery. I think they should have expected her for her lunch, given that we hadnt notified them otherwise

This is a ridiculous thing to say.

I work in a busy cafe and we can be running around cleaning everything in sight so we can go home at a reasonable time and still have people sitting talking after they are long finished thier meal 2 minutes before closing then decide they want pudding/cakes to take away.

Reminds me of the period I worked in a small hotel. Couldn't shift the last lot with the constant want of 'just one more thing'. People would also slink into the breakfast room as we were all cleaning up in the morning, asking for the cooked breakfast they had already paid for. No mate, you turned up at 11am when breakfast was advertised at 6am-10am, nobody is going to turn the grills back on for you, no the manager won't 'sort it' and he will also think you're a knob for even asking you lazy git. Of course, more than accommodating for people who gave us heads up.

re notice for non emergency day - that is just crazy to say 2 weeks if they are still paying the full price. Its not compulsory and yes they are there for their convenience - that's why they pay them. Its a service.

So this is hardly the massive crime it's being made out to be. The nursery will cope.

Of course they will but it's still not remotely unreasonable for them to ask the OP if she could please let them know in future.

YABU.

Most nurseries I know would be starting to prep food etc at 11 to serve between 11.30 - 12, so if you didn't even turn up to 11.40 they probably hadn't prepped your DD a meal.

Re: grandparent days, they probably work out rotas for their staff a good couple of weeks (or more) to ensure they have enough staff in to keep the staff : kids ratio right. If you don't send her in on only a couple of days notice they have probably already counted her as being present when working out the staffing rota ratios, (e.g, in simplistic terms if they have a 1 staff : 5 kids ratio if your DD was due to be the 6th kid in nursery that day they would have had to have 2 staff booked to work the day, whereas if they had known in advance that there was only going to be 5 kids in that day they probably would have only planned to have 1 staff member in that day). Because of the short-notice change in child numbers they then either have to cancel a member of staff on short notice (potentially very annoying for the staff member if they were relying on the money) or suck it up and pay for more staff than they need. Do you see why that would be frustrating for nursery? My nursery wants to be notified of planned days off at least 1 month in advance for this reason.

This is OP's first post I see.

Quelle surprise.