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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think driving to roads where there's good trick or treating is a bit wrong

447 replies

sahknowme · 30/10/2017 23:38

We live in an area that puts a lot of effort into trick or treating (assumingly for the "local" kids). There's recently been a thread on a forum asking for streets/routes that are good to drive to for their kids to trick or treat, and our street has been mentioned.

AIBU to think this is a bit wrong/grabby, and we are doing it for our local area - not for randoms to drive from all over town?!

OP posts:
Beeziekn33ze · 01/11/2017 19:01

SonyaY - Not going to RTFT but did you ever say how you knew the children you deigned to chuck the monkey nuts to weren't allergic to nuts. You are a bit toxic anyway, those poor kids.

Intercom · 01/11/2017 19:02

Dale I was referring only to those who travel purely for more sweets (as referred to by others), not those who travel for other aspects of the evening Hmm

StillTryingHard · 01/11/2017 19:04

Sorry - but yes I think YABU. I don't think people coming to your area are coming for the sweets. I think they're coming for a great atmosphere-- if your street is a street where lots of houses put out pumpkins (at least that is the signal in London where I live!) then it will naturally draw people who want to trick or treat in festive atmosphere in safe area. And full disclosure here ask should admit that we are people who travel to a different area to trick or treat for the reasons I explained. Sweets are the downside! I'd gladly not grab them if it was up to me :-). Interested to hear other views here though. Sorry! Smile

ginplease8383 · 01/11/2017 19:09

Well I couldn't take my 3 year old DD out trick or treating because my 1 year old had to be in bed. The only trick or treater we had (much to the delight of DD3) pulled up in a car! I'm glad otherwise DD would have been bitterly disappointed.

longestlurkerever · 01/11/2017 19:12

I can sort of see the argument as we live in an area that goes all out and it's crazy -hordes of kids at every door, littles getting squished etc and some people on the main roads must have given out thousands of sweets and had their doors ringing all night - but equally it was massive fun - a real spectacle with moving zombies and talking decapitated heads and if I knew it was going on down the road and my street was dead I'd be tempted to take my kids to join in. I think round here the older teens and parents host as payback for when they benefitted as younger trick or treaters which I think is a nice community spirit thing and excluding people would be mean. Perhaps an etiquette should develop of only visiting a few houses each, local or not.

AvoidingDM · 01/11/2017 19:16

I actually can't be bothered with Halloween, loved it as a child though.
I feel I should decorate and take part as a "give back". Halloween should all be about give and take and community. If you or your kids have taken then you should decorate and give back.
As a child the houses we went to were people who knew us and would make up "named" bags for us. I think it's really off to take your kids out if you aren't going to offer / hand out sweets yourselves

LondonLassInTheCountry · 01/11/2017 19:17

Should children not travel to see houses covered in Christmas lights either?

Save it for the "Locals" !!!!!!

KeithLeMonde · 01/11/2017 19:17

We get car-fulls coming onto our estate. All the roads get jammed. There are groups of 20-30 people at a time knocking on doors.

I find it intimidating, however, I have to say that all the groups are respectful and only knock on houses who are participating. Some of our neighbours go all out decorating and I am sure they would rather have people knock than it all be quiet. Having lots of families out makes it safer and more fun.

So, I hate it and wish they would all stay at home but recognise that IABU as Halloween plays havoc with my anxiety.

AnneOfCleavage · 01/11/2017 19:27

MissEliza exactly and that is what we love. My DD and her friend called out "Happy Halloween" or "Great costume" to the passing kids in the streets and it felt like a community event. Didn't know most of them especially in costumes and face make up but it felt so natural to be friendly.

Last year we ran out of sweets quite quickly so my DH did a bit of fire eating in the front garden for the passing kids. Lots still asked for treats cheeky feckers and a few knocked this year and asked for the fire eater. DH was at a school meeting so couldn't but jeez not grateful at all.

I specifically said to my DD and her friend to have a chat with the sweet givers and compliment them on their decorations and when we had them knock on our door it was lovely when they stopped to have a chat and it obviously wasn't about treats with some of them. We had a ultra violet light in our hallway so it made the costumes glow when we opened the door which was cool.

It was amazing how many teens and pre-teens just put a mask on and normal hoodie and jeans so no effort at all.

AvoidingDM · 01/11/2017 19:29

London massive difference between going to look at a house that's decorated for Christmas and chapping strangers doors looking for sweets.

Are those kids in England expected to provide some "entertainment" (duf joke, poem or song)in exchange for their Halloween ?

pollymere · 01/11/2017 19:36

We only visit people we know. Otherwise you're teaching your kids it's ok to take sweets from strangers.

MissEliza · 01/11/2017 19:37

A few asked for the fire eater Aw bless them. He’ll need to make sure he’s available next year!

MammaTJ · 01/11/2017 19:47

I live in the area of our town to ToT in. I was told I have the best decorated house.

I love that people come from all over to our estate. I feel that we do ourselves proud by being so welcoming to people from other areas.

Drivingmenuts · 01/11/2017 19:49

We live on top of a hill in the middle of nowhere - the nearest house is 1km away. We have two kids who love trick or treating, so yes, we drive to where more people live once a year. If you don't want trick or treaters, don't leave a pumpkin out. x

VivienneEastwood · 01/11/2017 19:50

OP do you live in Royston Vasey?

treacletoffee23 · 01/11/2017 19:55

We just visited houses with decorations. I took 4 year old twins who were so excited , one of whom who had decided she would sing " Trick or Treat -smell my feet" Unfortunately as soon as the door was answered they both froze like two tiny psychopaths 🎃🎃. They did remember their manners though.Some of the neighbours had smoke machines, talking zombies , skeletons it was fab. The only sad thing was some children grabbing handfuls of sweets and running off. A neighbour had a large basket and all its goodies stolen. A shop keeper had his shop and van floured. Its things like that that spoil a really good night. Even the Church opened its community room for all ToT to have free refreshments.

ittakes2 · 01/11/2017 19:55

YABU. There are a few streets in our village where the locals love to dress up and decorate their houses. Also the elderly there love to see the little children's costumes. Not a single house in our lane does trick or treating. We drive to this area because of the atmosphere to see the decorations and the children's costumes - not to be grabby about sweets. 'Good' trick or treating doesn't mean good sweets - it just means where there are houses with more owners who have pumkins and like trick or treaters stopping by.

AnneOfCleavage · 01/11/2017 19:56

Well that's the thing MissEliza we don't want to do the same every year as it mixes things up and keeps things fun and different. One year when we had T or Ters at our door we said "Trick" and came out with a stick insect on our hand and any one who wanted treats had to hold it. Amazingly the little ones were brave but teens fled screaming Grin

AnneOfCleavage · 01/11/2017 19:59

We were also given a Halloween tract with fun facts and quizzes but a Christian message at the end but the tract giver still gave sweets and had a pumpkin outside their house so even Church goers entered into the fun of it.

kamarastar · 01/11/2017 20:09

The choice is to display a pumpkin and decorate if you want to participate. Give sweets to children who knock. Bring your pumpkin in when you have run out of sweets... dems da rulz. Not assessing, judging and selecting between kids. That's just shit.

MrsEricBana · 01/11/2017 20:18

Last night I dressed up the house with spidery webs and lit pumpkins and had basket of treats as there are few young kids on our street. Got lots of trick or treaters I recognised ONE family. All the others had gone to another road where there are "richer pickings". I'm not bothering next year. (My d's are older)

keeponkeepinon · 01/11/2017 20:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Busybee1234 · 01/11/2017 20:21

I took my little 6 year old to some of the streets (walking distance) where her friends live. Our street has 90% retired people with a (dark) drive to walk up and they don't do trick or treat. Or 'treating' as we refer to it as we don't 'trick' and only knock on doors of people we know. I've driven our children to streets that are lit up at Christmas too to admire the lights as our one is a bit dark and not showy. I don't really see the difference?

MaggieS41 · 01/11/2017 20:25

Thought this might help you decide! Not that I believe you would put up such a sign!

www.scarymommy.com/halloween-sign-bans-kids-not-from-neighborhood/?utm_source=1101&utm_campaign=experiment&utm_medium=fbads

Springprim · 01/11/2017 20:37

I happily hand sweets out to anyone trick or treating. Of course it doesn't matter.