To think driving to roads where there's good trick or treating is a bit wrong

[sahknowme]

We live in an area that puts a lot of effort into trick or treating (assumingly for the "local" kids). There's recently been a thread on a forum asking for streets/routes that are good to drive to for their kids to trick or treat, and our street has been mentioned.

AIBU to think this is a bit wrong/grabby, and we are doing it for our local area - not for randoms to drive from all over town?!

new

My mum was a very faithful catholic

She rang the catholic helpline to see if it was ok for me to read the tarot cards for her

And we always 'did' Halloween....not to the extent i do now

If you don't want children knocking then don't decorate.

What a horrible thing to turn away children for being from the 'wrong' area. That's really sad. Whatever happened to treating people equally, did we somehow forget along the way that we are all human?

What a horrible message this would send to children, I really hope this doesn't happen in real life.

I think sometimes the ostentations house decorator types don't realise how much they isolate and exclude other people

I genuinely don't understand this remark, PiggyWasPushed. Around here, the "ostentatious house decorator types" are the ones who are actively encouraging all-comers to knock on their doors. It's the exact opposite of isolating and excluding other people. (And no, most places aren't like Sonya's estate, with lanyards and whatnot.)

I think piggy's talking about the people who do a list of houses that are participating - which may exclude those who aren't 'in' enough to be asked. I don't think it happens where I am though. I do decorate but wouldn't ever agree to go on a list and particularly not one on the internet! Not so much because it is excluding though, but just because I'm not a fan of being named and addressed on social media generally.

We had about 100-150 dc, didn't recognise them all but that doesn't mean they don't live round here. (Some dc and dparents are genuinely unrecognisable in the make up and costumes anyway!) We're not in an area which is at risk of being 'go to' - I think the risk here is that people may stop coming to our street as far fewer houses participate than before! Lots of families with dc now too old for it, I think is the reason, and not many coming up to replace them. The thanks from dparents were quite heartfelt - relieved to find a house that was spooked up!

I've just taken my dog for a walk up the "go to" Halloween road near us.
There is a lot of litter that wasn't there yesterday and definitely looks trick or treat related ( bits of costume, sweet wrappers)
I suppose that's the main downside with this - if 200 kids descend on an area there is likely to be litter dropped, which the residents will have to pick up ( no bins nearby)

ah yes that is a problem - i haven't been out to check yet.

Am I overinvested if I was looking at decs on ebay at 10pm last night? Thinking of changing my theme next year. It's quite difficult to strike the balance between scary and not too scary!

I don’t mind kids from other neighbourhoods joining the fun in our area. I do mind when parents drive their kids up to a house, kick them out to grab some sweets, then pile them back in the car and drive to the next house. That is not in the spirit of trick or treating :(

Last night I ran out of the 200+ sweets I bought by 7pm - I only got home at 6.15. As I've lived in the area a while and have kids who go to local schools I recognised the local kids who were probably 40% of the children who knocked on our door. I did notice this year we were inundated with huge groups of kids who had clearly travelled to the area to go trick or treating (and who also mostly failed to say trick or treat or happy halloween and thank you when given a treat).

What got me were the older kids (admittedly a minority) wearing their normal clothes with a token mask or devil
Horns, actually running from house to house to try and do them all before they ran out of sweets. As we're at the far end of our estate by the time they reached us they had huge bulging sacks (they were using pillowcases!) and really didn't need any more, didn't bother to say thank you because they ran off to the next house so quickly.

It's the whole family groups that annoy me,mum and dad with all their kids and kids friends(non recognisable from the area,)who seem to be working the streets as they each have carrier bags full of sweets and are obviously not at home to give out to kids who knock on their doors.
I tend to do the handing out to most kids Anny way as the greedy ones take too many and the shy ones just one thing.All the teenagers round her dress really imaginatively and are v polite,l am usually generous to them as their trick or treating days are nearly done,they always say thank you.

Not as many last night as last year. I still have sweets left.
Had a last minute panic as the head came off one of the groundbreaking zombies and he was just waving his arms about while his head flopped onto his chest. We managed to find the hot glue gun though so all was well there....except I definitely bought a 5' animated bat in about February and we just could not find it this week. Hopefully it's turn up before next year!
Eldest DC did the door, DH and chum supervised the younger ones around the village. We had a lovely night, with about 250-300 youngsters between 5.30 and 8pm. I did not ask them where they came from. They were all polite and lots of the little ones screamed at the zombies or witches while the parents laughed and calmed them down. This area has a reputation for Halloween celebration and I know lots of people drive in from the hamlets: I have no problem with this.
The idea of turning someone away because they may not be local is abhorrent to me, but I accept I may feel differently if I lived on one of the bases, for example, where the buses do go. That may be frightening if they won't take no for an answer.

That drives me nuts, too, Hothead, seeing BOTH parents with their children out and about, knowing they're happy to take their kids T&T for sweets, but not giving out to children from their own house. Take turns taking your little ones out if you're desperate to see them do it; split the evening! It's not that hard.

We took both ours out together and left a bowl of sweets next to our pumpkins. People get irate over the smallest things!

How can you tell if they are both the parents if they are with a gaggle of children?
My youngest went out with 4 friends. DH and one of the friend's Mums trailed them round. Not a couple: all houses supplied with sweet distributors. Why are people so judgy about this? If you don't want to do it, just don't.

Indeed looking is correct : that is what I meant!

If people decorate their houses that is lovely but you shouldn't feel you HAVE to to be part of Halloween or that somehow you need to be a 'known face' to visit or be visited!

This happens in our village, we have an American base near us and lots of folk American folk rent here so (not so much as it is being wound down) and you see car loads dropping off their kids,

I don’t think anyone minds as it’s nice to see kids and parents out and about.
It certainly doesn’t bother me pls there is always the bonus of reeses peanut butter choc cups... yum yum

I actually think that it's a great system too, sonyaY.
We generally only get local kids as ours is a bit of an aged area and the children trick or treating are either of parents living there or grandkids of people living there where their children bought a house nearby.
We got few trick or treaters yesterday I didn't know but the local kids were first and they got lots which was good. I think though that if someone started misusing the system and literally drove-in into the estate, we would soon stop being so generous. Everybody is served right now but it's all on a trust basis.
We also generally wouldn't open after eight even though I was glad we did yesterday as it was a smaller girl whose mother probably couldn't get earlier from work and she was really grateful that she got something from us. I hope others were kind to her too.

My dd is a bit young to go out yet but i bought sweets just like last year and no one came. I will take her next year round where my mum lives.

No I do not think it is wrong to go to where people decorate their houses and clearly enjoy having children knock on their doors. I live in a village and in my part of the village their are mainly older people who do not have young children. So last year I drove my then 5 year old to the estate at the other end of the village to trick or treat. There are lots more families with school age children or younger there and they have wonderfully decorated houses and really go for it. My daughter really enjoyed it. Last night we stayed closer to home and had to walk and walk a long way to find about five houses with pumpkins in the window. It wasn't quite as fun and some houses where we knocked did not answer the door. My daughter was a bit confused and upset about that. So I think if you live in an area where people do not like and enjoy Halloween it does no harm in joining those that do. It is for the children after all and you cannot pick and choose who knocks on your door. That smacks of clique type behaviour to me.

Gosh, never knew this was a rule! We live in a nice area with lots of older people so trick or treating doesn't go on here really. So we went a couple of minutes down the road nearer the school so the kids could have a bit of fun. Luckily no one asked for proof of our address . People around here are very welcoming luckily! After 20 mins my 6 yr old decided her modest amount of sweets was plenty and we went home with the hope of some trick or treaters calling on us for the kids sake. Half an hour and a miserable 6 yr later I sent my husband outside to get one by flagging one down walking home! The little girl got loads of sweets and funny things the kids set up. Happy kids. That's what it's all about surely!

Have just caught up with some of the thread that I missed last night, reply to those who commented:

The crowd was a few years ago, NW London, normally a quiet road. Considering what others have said already, probably one of the 'rich' looking ones for sweet collecting purposes.

There were crowds of people speaking in various languages out there so I think it had been a case of hearing about this tradition where you get free sweets and all piling onto the bus. It felt like I was under siege, and fortunately has not been as bad again although last night was a reminder of it. Even the sign on the door made no difference.

OldWitch,

at same with dropping off children on certain streets for "fundraising"

Trouble is that if you live in an area where people don't have much money your kids will not raise much money if they just ask locally. These kids are probably at a school that doesn't have much money or wealthy parents, so that school will continue to struggle to raise money. In my area there is a very naice primary where the parents are wealthy and can raise thousands for the school in an evening. Across the street is a council estate where no one has any money, and the kids go to a different school that struggles to raise a few hundred quid at a fundraising event. I know where I'd send my DC if I wanted to raise a few quid! In fact when we were fundraising for a larger school project we made a point of going to the wealthier area, and made loads of money. We'd never have raised our total if we'd stayed in our own area. And our kids would have suffered yet again at the expense of the wealthier ones at the other school.

Totally agree Cindefuckingrella We were home by quarter to seven hoping for some children to visit us. We got two callers. Some areas are just very quiet and don't want to take part.

I’m really bah humbug about non local kids trick or treating along our road. Purely because of what it costs me. I must have spent about £30 last night on sweets yet still ran out.

Ah FFS, we went out last night to a different area (where lots of houses are decorated) and dh and I both went......2 laws of mumsnet broken. Has everything always been this arse faced?