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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

WHBU ? (Wheelchair vs. Buggy)

326 replies

DisabilityIsALifestyleChoice · 29/10/2017 17:36

(NC'd but old hand here)

DH tends to chat in various discussion groups, and yesterday, in a discussion about roads told someone to fuck off.

Here's the conversation which started around using buses and how everyone should do it to relieve road congestion,

DH:
And wheelchair users can wait all day, and still not get a bus if there are people refusing to move their baby buggies.

POSTER:
What are parents to do if they have a child in a buggy, some shopping
underneath, so it cannot be folded and cannot relinquish their position and get a later bus, because they have to be at school for a particular time to pick up their 5 year-old child?

DH:
That's choice, compared to the necessity to use a wheelchair.

POSTER:
It's not choice if you have to do the shopping so as to have an evening meal, have a young child that you have to bring with you and need to pick up the other child from school. The wheelchair user may well have much more choice, as many can walk short distances and chairs
can fold. In some cases, their journey may be purely frivolous, unlike the example parent.

It was at this point DH suggested the poster "Go f* themselves".

I should add that obviously DH is sensitive to wheelchair users (which is what I am) and tries to be polite where he can (as befits his age, and maturity). But he's fretting now whether he was too abrupt Hmm.

I wonder what the vipers of AIBU think ? (For the record, I am 100% on his side, here ...)

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
ArcheryAnnie · 29/10/2017 20:14

Whatever. You know what I think. I know what my experience of you has been.

FreudianSlurp · 29/10/2017 20:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Misspollyhadadollie · 29/10/2017 20:17

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ArcheryAnnie · 29/10/2017 20:18

And you won't listen to what other people are saying, and you aggressively disbelieve anyone with a different experience to you.

rachrach2 · 29/10/2017 20:18

Whereas I totally agree wheelchair users have priority over the aptly named wheelchair spaces, it means I never get the bus (even though it would be much more convenient) as I simply couldn’t manage to collapse my buggy and deal with two tiny children and all the stuff that comes with them, never mind my shopping!

Littledrummergirl · 29/10/2017 20:19

If you can't carry a backpack then a collapsible double buggy would be a solution.
Why do you feel that you couldn't ensure your dc are able to sit safely in a seat or on your knee with your arms around them? As a parent surely you teach them in a way that enables them to be safe.
I don't have twins but there is just over a year between my oldest two, so I had the same options. It is doable if you choose to make it work.

Gilead · 29/10/2017 20:20

.I find many wheelchair users have a chip on their shoulder.
How dare you! Go take your prejudices elsewhere. I have reported you.

FreudianSlurp · 29/10/2017 20:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gilead · 29/10/2017 20:23

I'm so angry. You have no right to say that people have chip on their shoulder for wishing to have equal access to society. You have no right to comment if we do not grovel having fought ourselves for that right.
I suggest you do some long and hard thinking about your petty little prejudices. Angry

Misspollyhadadollie · 29/10/2017 20:23

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

PurpleDaisies · 29/10/2017 20:24

I find many wheelchair users have a chip on their shoulder

Seriously?! Biscuit

Misspollyhadadollie · 29/10/2017 20:25

All the elderly ladies/men round here always say thanks when offered a seat. It's not hard. It's one word. It seems your not saying thanks to 'make a point'.

Gilead · 29/10/2017 20:26

No point taking it out on innocent people. You're not innocent, what you said was disablist in the extreme.

Gilead · 29/10/2017 20:27

It seems your not saying thanks to 'make a point'.
I'm a touch more grown up than that. I don't need to say Thank you. I fought for that access.

Misspollyhadadollie · 29/10/2017 20:28

Hardly. My dad is in a wheelchair. He would be mortified if someone had to get off the bus for him. He doesn't get buses anyway. Only cabs since disabled people get them half price round here. So he never needs to use the bus.

Gilead · 29/10/2017 20:31

What do you mean Hardly?

meltingmarshmallows · 29/10/2017 20:31

@Misspollyhadadollie Does this thread not make you think there’s a point to be made though?

People are unclear on the fact it’s the law. You’re not doing anyone a favour by moving, you’re doing what you have to do.

Clearly you have a horrendous attitude about a huge cross-section of society, is it not possible you’re showing this in your attitude when getting off? If you find people are often reacting to you a certain way, I’d perhaps wonder why.

Ausparent · 29/10/2017 20:33

I would always give priority to a wheelchair user. However, I found this which suggests this priority is not protected anymore

www.bususers.org/news-events/news/ruling-on-access-to-buses-for-wheelchair-users

Misspollyhadadollie · 29/10/2017 20:33

I get that I have to. I wouldn't move if I didn't have to. Still think it's nice to be nice.

meltingmarshmallows · 29/10/2017 20:33

‘Disabled people get them for half price’ ... Look into the cost of being disabled. The extra things people need to buy. Even a half price cab isn’t an option for many. Good for your dad but he’s hardly a better person for not using the bus spaces disabled people are entitled to use by law HmmShock

TammyswansonTwo · 29/10/2017 20:33

If you can't carry a backpack then a collapsible double buggy would be a solution.
Why do you feel that you couldn't ensure your dc are able to sit safely in a seat or on your knee with your arms around them? As a parent surely you teach them in a way that enables them to be safe.
I don't have twins but there is just over a year between my oldest two, so I had the same options. It is doable if you choose to make it work.

I have a double buggy that folds, two actually. An inline one, and a side by side. They're both very difficult to fold, requiring two hands, and one has to be partially dismantled in order to take it apart.

Sorry, what do you want me to teach a 13 month old about behaviour exactly? They don't understand safety! Even if I could use a back carrier (which I can't, so it's moot), with a 1 year old strapped to my back, I'd barely be able to sit safely on a seat myself, let alone throwing another kid who's struggling to get off my knee into the mix.

And having kids a year apart is not like having twins - my god, if I'd had a pound for every time I've heard that!

SauvignonBlanche · 29/10/2017 20:35

I've seen it all now! Sad Angry

Gilead · 29/10/2017 20:35

I get that I have to. I wouldn't move if I didn't have to.
You just keep on giving, don't you.

Ausparent · 29/10/2017 20:36

This is from CAB

What if there is a pushchair or pram in the wheelchair space

Wheelchair users should be given priority over pushchair users. If there is a pushchair in the wheelchair space, when you try to board the bus, the driver should ask the pushchair user to move. However if the pushchair user refuses to move the driver can not force them to do so.

I am shocked that this is the case.

Gilead · 29/10/2017 20:37

And having kids a year apart is not like having twins - my god, if I'd had a pound for every time I've heard that!
That I agree with, however, people do help and it is possible to do.

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