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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if anyone in rl has ever actually met anyone who is 'offended by a poppy?

489 replies

Whatsername17 · 29/10/2017 12:52

My Facebook feed is full of memes declaring that people are going to 'wear their poppy with pride and they don't care who they offend'. My nan is the latest culprit and I've called her out on it. Cue lots of her friends spouting racist bollocks about people not being able to sell them blah blah. My nan spouting shit about what a good heart I have because I can't see the bad in people. Angry I'm 34. I'm not a fucking child. And breathe!

OP posts:
FlowerPot1234 · 02/11/2017 09:47

Yes, two different 'strands' of people. First, some years ago a couple of people in a group I was involved in were offended by the red poppy as they felt it glorified war and violence as a means to resolve conflict, that the red was the blood of soldiers, and they wore the white poppy instead to symbolise peace. Second, I have worked in professional environments where Muslims have voiced in discussions, and also formally to HR, their opposition to staff wearing the red poppy as they felt it persecuted them, it referred to the Crusades, they were offended etc.

I wear a red poppy.

corythatwas · 02/11/2017 09:50

TaylorTinker Thu 02-Nov-17 09:42:49
"The thing is Cory they probably think you are "making a point" by saying, however gently, that you are supporting another charity. I find "No, thanks" is sufficient."

Ime "no thanks" elicits an equally angry response. You get told how stingy you are, as well as not caring about heroes. Wondering if the range of responses may be something to do with demographics: don't think I've ever seen a white poppy wearer round my local area.

TaylorTinker · 02/11/2017 09:52

Ooh I'd engage at that point Cory! Sorry that happened. It's usually cadets round our way who blush their way through the whole thing.

TaylorTinker · 02/11/2017 09:54

Now cadets have been told not to wear their uniforms out and about due to terror threats maybe they won't do it this year?

nornironlady · 02/11/2017 09:54

Massive issue in NI

ThomasRichard · 02/11/2017 09:56

No one is offended by poppies.

Two women wearing hijabs sold me poppies this year. Imagine Hmm

TaylorTinker · 02/11/2017 09:59

There are people on this very thread offended by / opposing / judgemental of the wearing of remembrance poppies!

theymademejoin · 02/11/2017 10:00

TaylorTinker - I don't understand your point.

Yes, I have made a lot of points about the poppy campaign run by the British Legion and how the stated purpose and aims of that campaign can lead to, and support, jingoistic attitudes.

juststuff · 02/11/2017 10:02

Never a problem where we live. I thought it was a Daily Fail contrivance...

TaylorTinker · 02/11/2017 10:16

No worries theymademejoin! There is no point to every comment of mine..you have me right.
Just to say you are a good debater.

Like a lot of people for me the poppy has an symbolism of ww1 poppy fields. I don't read websites about how some web copy writer says I am meant to interpret this year's poppy, but I'm ok for donated money to go to present day veterans. They didn't choose where to be sent. We could hold the likes of Tony Blair to account for things like that.

FlowerPot1234 · 02/11/2017 10:20

ThomasRichard
No one is offended by poppies.

Not sure how you can make that statement, when people here - including myself - have answered the OP's question asking if we have actually met people who are offended, and we have answered yes, we have.

Ssdw · 02/11/2017 10:22

I wear a white poppy sometimes if i come across any in the few shops there are sold. I tend to forget about ordering it online in time, and then they run out. For those who claim that the white poppy is a new age hippy liberal thing: the white poppy has been worn since 1933.
I am not offended by a red one at all. But my grandfathers fought on the wrong side in the wars therefore i find it would be inappropriate for me to wear a red one.
Also, i think it is such a token gesture.
However i do understand that those British and Commonwealth soldiers who sacrificed their lives prevented Europe from going down a very different path, and it is thanks to them we have democracy in Europe and it allows me to live in the UK and lament about whether to wear a red poppy... I believe i would need to attach an explanation to my red poppy as i believe in what it represented originally but i couldnt wholeheartedly support what it turned into lately.
I have no issues with anyone wearing one but i have issues with anyone who judges another person for not wearing one. For a lot of people it is controversial and the choice to not to wear one is not down to ignorance or disrespect.

messyjessy17 · 02/11/2017 10:34

I've met lots of people though who keep declaring they're 'afraid of causing offence

usually wankers who are well known for causing offence.

theymademejoin · 02/11/2017 11:11

Fair enough @TaylorTinker

I know loads of people have their own reasons for wearing the poppy that are at odds with the BL and I fully respect that. I would never presume, unless I see evidence to the contrary, that an individual poppy wearer has a particular mindset and on an individual basis, I would always give the benefit of the doubt.

messyjessy17 · 02/11/2017 11:31

First, some years ago a couple of people in a group I was involved in were offended by the red poppy as they felt it glorified war and violence as a means to resolve conflict, that the red was the blood of soldiers, and they wore the white poppy instead to symbolise peace

I doubt they were actually offended. They just didn't like it, which is not the same thing.

I don't wear a poppy, I won't buy one, and I don't like how they are everywhere. But I'm not offended by it.

FlowerPot1234 · 02/11/2017 11:38

messyjessy17
First, some years ago a couple of people in a group I was involved in were offended by the red poppy
I doubt they were actually offended. They just didn't like it, which is not the same thing.

No, they actually said they were offended by it.

Darlingsof · 02/11/2017 11:42

Nope never ever ever because people aren't offended by people wearing flowers for the most part. I choose not to wear one anymore for personal reasons but I keep those reasons to myself and I'm certainly not offended by anyone wearing them.

madcatwoman61 · 02/11/2017 11:44

I wear a white poppy. I choose not to wear a red poppy. I disagree with a lot of the British Legion’s campaigning. I do not however waste my mental energy being offended by things on the whole, unless it’s someone who is being personally offensive, which is rare

CosmicPineapple · 03/11/2017 07:14

Massive issue in NI

Not true.

The RBL have a Pop in in Belfast.
They also celebrated the launch of poppy day
here
So to say their is a massive issue with the poppy in NI is untrue seen as the RBL are welcomed in Belfast.

Dont get me wrong NI is more than Belfast and I dont doubt in some places the poppy will not be welcome. I just dont think it is fair to paint the picture that the whole of NI hates the poppy.

malificent7 · 03/11/2017 07:20

I think people are more offended if you dont wear a poppy at all.

I do apprechiate those who died in the war but as a pacifist i dont really like the jingoism that accompanies the appeal.

I sometimes wear abpoppg but im not 100 perce comfortable with it.

MelanieCheeks · 03/11/2017 07:24

"Massive issue in NI" doesn't mean that "the whole of NI hates the poppy". There is undoubtedly a different attitude to the poppy from the 2 main communities, which can lead to tensions.

I get most annoyed by the insistence that it's worn by Strictly contestants on a dancing costume.

whyhastherumgone · 03/11/2017 07:29

One of my grandads was. He fought in the war himself and was affronted by the poppy because he believed it glorified war. However he never had an issue with me wearing one and would only make a comment if you asked him about it.

My other grandad was a poppy seller and did endless work for the legion, having fought in the war too, so they had very different opinions

Ceto · 03/11/2017 07:33

I so agree about the insistence on sewing fabric poppies onto Strictly costumes. I don't blame them for doing it, because there would be such a shitstorm if they didn't; but it demonstrates how ridiculous the rhetoric is, given that what they sew on isn't produced by the Royal British Legion and therefore doesn't in itself raise any funds for them, which I'm always viewed as the primary intention behind the whole thing.

Ditto all the fuss that always happens around footballers wearing them as well. The important thing is buying the poppy and therefore donating, not ostentatiously displaying it every second of the day.

Poorlybabe4 · 03/11/2017 11:06

I second worra! It amazes howany people think they are going to offend me because im muslim.... especially things like this...im white british! Rememberence day has nothing to do with me being muslim! And i buy and wear a poppy too! The strange things is i have never had a cross word with anyone really. I am bubbly and smile and chat to almost everyone so why people think i wohld be offended baffles me! Apparently my scarf has easily offended written all over it Hmm

Poorlybabe4 · 03/11/2017 11:06

Awful spelling there!