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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Uninvited to Halloween party :(

155 replies

Annoyedbaby · 28/10/2017 18:53

Just wanted a few opinions on this really as I'm not sure what to do... fairly first world problem but it's got me really prickled

My lovely friend invited my 8 yr old DS to her village's Halloween party. Low key village hall affair, £5 entrance, the more the merrier kind of thing.
DS super excited, we've got the costume ...first time he's ever wanted to dress up... all good!

Then another mum from the village (and also a mum from my DS's school) then told my friend (pretty rudely apparently) that my DS can't go as only the children in the village are allowed to go. She knows my DS thinks he's going.

AIBU to think that this is mean, petty and unnecessary Sad
What would you lovely peeps do?

OP posts:
grannytomine · 29/10/2017 17:46

I organised a children's event when Prince Charles and Diana got married, I had parents telling others they couldn't come. I put people straight and we probably had 20 kids from our street and nearly as many friends and relatives. The more the merrier I said and we had a fantastic day. I can't understand why people are so mean. I even got dirty looks when kids from round the corner were watching and I gave them ice cream. I bought the ice cream so they were wise not to challenge me on that one.

CoolCarrie · 29/10/2017 17:50

What an awful woman! Take him away, don't let her spoil his fun.

BalloonSlayer · 29/10/2017 17:53

Could you host a party on the same night with free admission? And invite all the kids from the other village

lalliella · 29/10/2017 18:00

Does that woman have 6 fingers and toes? Does she play the banjo? Is she building a giant man made out of wicker? I'd stay away from that village if I were you!

Knackeredotcom · 29/10/2017 18:02

The party's not in Royston Vasey it it? Wink

Whinesalot · 29/10/2017 18:05

Has she replied yet?

Italiangreyhound · 29/10/2017 18:05

Not read all post but Annoyedbab "... im pretty sure she's one of the organisers"

I would contact another one of the organiser directly. Explain you thought it was OK to come because you were invited, have bought a costume and told your child. So you hope it is OK to come. I'd then expect to get a reply saying fine. But if no reply comes I would go and be prepared to argue with her on the door.

If this nasty woman confronts you in person I would explain politely that her behavior is very much out of order and petty, you were invited.

This is so mean!

lolaflores · 29/10/2017 18:08

When did the PTA have the right to restrict non residents? There are people in this world who just lose the run of themselves when they get on a committe or something and start throwing their weight about.
Get your child and sweep in the door with a "We're not local" sign round yer neck.

wonkylegs · 29/10/2017 18:14

Our 'village' Halloween party is open to all as long as they have a ticket, it tends to be people from the village but there are always relatives, the odd friend from the local town / other villages. It's not advertised so it does tend to just be locals as they know it's on.
Some people do think it's just for our village but I know the organiser so know it's no such thing. However they are also the same people who think no one should be allowed to move in to the village ever and if you aren't a 5th generation villager then you are probably foreign!! yes they are a bit odd we tend to nod and smile and move on.
Villages can bring out the 'specialness' of some people Grin

Mummyoflittledragon · 29/10/2017 18:23

If the PTA want it to be an exclusive event, then they should organise it in the school as a ticketed event for school attendees only. As is, it’s in a village hall, which is a public building. How can they reserve the right to entrance on that basis?

Idontevencareanymore · 29/10/2017 18:32

op is there anyway you can get hold of someone organising it? And at least clarify if people from outside the area are welcome.
I'd have thought it would be as many as can fit (legally) in order to raise funds ect.

Pengggwn · 29/10/2017 18:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SpookghosttiAndMeatboos · 29/10/2017 18:40

Has anyone considered that there could be an insurance issue? I'm sure they're required to have insurance for a certain number in attendance, and they may just be being cautious about not going over that number.

In my experience then they'd sell tickets up front, to a fixed number (that's what we used to do at village events like this).

I'm with the people that say that sure, we'd bill it as 'X village halloween party' just so we didn't get inundated - but if one of the village kids invited a friend, then it wouldn't be an issue at all. If it really is restricted to 'X village' it's both a bit weird, and surely it would be saying that somewhere.

MontytheSpookyMouse · 29/10/2017 18:41

Our area does this. Within our village is a smaller village of around 40 houses. Each year they have a village fete which everyone from anywhere is invited to which part funds the Christmas, Halloween, Easter events which are for children within the 40 houses. We literally live at the end of the road and aren't allowed to attend.

Pengggwn · 29/10/2017 18:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

manicmij · 29/10/2017 19:00

Take it you have paid for ticket so whoever accepted your money basically contracted for your son to attend. Not wishing to pull the legal view, just go your son had an invite. Is he going along same time as friend? Sure others won't even notice the foreigner from the other village.

SweetCrustPastry · 29/10/2017 19:04

we used to live in a tiny village with a popular school. There were regular parties for village children in the village hall. Children from outside the village weren't invited/allowed. When we moved my kids had to stop going - there were similar parties for children from the village in the place we moved to. It seemed a bit weird, especially as there were also some parties organised as fundraisers for a new playground in the old village and everyone was welcome to these. But the rules had been established for donkeys years and I'm pretty sure they weren't flexible, families that had been in the village for generations knew how it all worked - not sure what happened if a family had visitors, maybe they counted as village children if they were staying for the weekend, but I suspect that everyone just knew not to have other children staying that weekend.

e1y1 · 29/10/2017 19:08

Ignore her, who made her judge and jury?

Your son has been invited, he can’t now be disinvited.

SandyDenny · 29/10/2017 19:19

We only have one side of the story, why the hate for the organiser, we have no idea about the arrangements, maybe OP's friend has got it wrong. Who knows, no need for the organiser to be rude but no need to slate her without the full facts.

And before any stupid comments of course I'm not the organiser I just like to hear both sides of a story.

Pengggwn · 29/10/2017 19:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

troodiedoo · 29/10/2017 19:40

Gosh I'm learning a lot about village life Confused

Redissuereader · 29/10/2017 19:56

Do you live on a council estate? I'm not suggesting that it should make a difference but I've discovered that Lora of people are complete snobs and like to "limit numbers" if they think that 'the wrong sort of people' are being attracted. Either way person who said you aren't invited sounds a like a dick. I probably would go and have fun with my friend and her son who invisibly isn't and suss out what I thought the problem was.

BubblegumFactory · 29/10/2017 20:11

Our road has a street party every summer. Everyone invited, friends and family too. It’s a lovely event, full of kids properly enjoying themselves.
I couldn’t be doing with any of this ‘only for local people’ bollocks.
Sticking to rules and excluding a little boy who is excited at the prospect of the party is heartless.

SeamusMacDubh · 29/10/2017 20:13

I took my DC to the Hallowe'en disco in the next village this evening, it was advertised as X village's disco but the mums that run the toddler group we go to in the village advertised it and we bought a ticket to go. It was great and no one batted an eyelid or quizzed us for our postcode Hmm to check that we were villagers!!

Take your DS, you've paid your fiver, he's excited and got his costume ready, chances are the crabby woman who told your friend your DS couldn't go probably won't even be there anyway!!

Pengggwn · 29/10/2017 20:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.