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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Uninvited to Halloween party :(

155 replies

Annoyedbaby · 28/10/2017 18:53

Just wanted a few opinions on this really as I'm not sure what to do... fairly first world problem but it's got me really prickled

My lovely friend invited my 8 yr old DS to her village's Halloween party. Low key village hall affair, £5 entrance, the more the merrier kind of thing.
DS super excited, we've got the costume ...first time he's ever wanted to dress up... all good!

Then another mum from the village (and also a mum from my DS's school) then told my friend (pretty rudely apparently) that my DS can't go as only the children in the village are allowed to go. She knows my DS thinks he's going.

AIBU to think that this is mean, petty and unnecessary Sad
What would you lovely peeps do?

OP posts:
WomblingThree · 28/10/2017 20:21

@Awwlookatmybabyspider what “clique bitches”?? It was one woman, who said one thing, possibly for good reasons. This isn’t Facebook with all it’s associated drama where you can spend your life being spiteful to random people.

OP, just go for god’s sake. No one is going to take you outside and shoot you ffs!

kali110 · 28/10/2017 20:23

I can understand the op not wanting confrontation.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 28/10/2017 20:28

A mum from village and a mum from ds school said my son couldn't go.
That's 2 people. That's a clique and where did I mention Facebook.Confused
I'm not even on Facebook.

CherriesInTheSnow · 28/10/2017 20:29

Jesus kali and pengwynn that was obviously a lighthearted comment, get a grip Hmm

Original poster
Annoyedbaby · 28/10/2017 20:31

Awlook ...sorry it's just one person ....I wasn't clear. I meant the woman is also a mum at DS's school hence why she knows DS x

OP posts:
CherriesInTheSnow · 28/10/2017 20:32

OP the woman is being unreasonable - I completely agree that it's very doubtful the village is over capacity and with a pay on the door affair as PP's have said I imagine most other organisers would have a "more the merrier" attitude. I will never understand some people (like the woman, and some of those on this thread) who can act so bloody joyless. It's a kids halloween party and it's one little boy :(

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 28/10/2017 20:33

Thanks for clearing that up, Annoyed.
X

StaplesCorner · 28/10/2017 20:33

the village where I live is next to a large town. Occasionally stuff like this has happened, and if we say "the more the merrier" we'd be inundated, but because of this we are careful with ticketing - we'd call it the Staples Corner Village Children's Party. However, people from within the village do then invite their friends from the town, and it would be very churlish/embarrassing to turn them away, provided of course they have young children.

Onceuponatime21 · 28/10/2017 20:35

@don

Nope, no tickets. Just the church hall, everyone bring a plate to share and a donation to cover the hire costs, any extra cash goes to church or PTFA or whatever, let so and so know if you want to organise a game. Advertised via school newsletter, and preschool. Possibly posters in village if anyone felt creative.

We were all friends, these things were generally organised on one of our regular nights out (same night of the week, in the village pub, again open invitation advertised via school PTFA Facebook (tiny school).

So yes, if you had turned up from another village down the road, you would be made very welcome. But you might feel like you've walked into a clique because everyone does know everyone ....

Pearlsaringer · 28/10/2017 20:35

One wonders just how badly behaved these village children are to make it inadvisable for other children to mix with them Wink

donquixotedelamancha · 28/10/2017 20:35

@Annoyedbaby. "Donquix you're right...I hate any kind of confrontation"

Every reasonable person does, but it's not fun to live your life ruled by the selfishness of others.

If, your son really wants to go, then perhaps you might grit your teeth this once? The thing is that most people are not unpleasant loons, so Tubs will not be supported in her silliness- as this thread shows. Getting in touch with the organisation before you go would remove the worry.

kali110 · 28/10/2017 20:35

Has your friend replied? What does she think?

diddl · 28/10/2017 20:38

Is the woman an organiser-is that why your friend told her that she had invited your son?

donquixotedelamancha · 28/10/2017 20:39

@Onceuponatime21

Yeah, I figured it was something like that. 'Donations' and BYO means a lot less regulation, but even then (as you say) most organisations would not mind someone bringing a friend.

In the scenario described by the OP, I really don't think Tubs has a leg to stand on.

Original poster
Annoyedbaby · 28/10/2017 20:43

Message sent via message and it hasn't been received yet... I expect she'll get it tomorrow. I know my friend hates confrontation even more than me Blush

Donquix... you're right... and I instinctively do want to stick up for myself on this occasion ...hence the angst over whether I was justified or not.... as I've form for being walked over

Cherries thank you again x

OP posts:
Original poster
Annoyedbaby · 28/10/2017 20:44

Diddl im pretty sure she's one of the organisers

OP posts:
kali110 · 28/10/2017 20:49

maybe wait for your friend, she'll be the one who has to live there.
If not will your friend miss the party and the four of you do something?

Vq1970 · 28/10/2017 20:52

If you do go, please dress up as the Grim Reaper and follow her around all night!

Original poster
Annoyedbaby · 28/10/2017 20:52

Kali, yes exactly and the last thing I want is to make things difficult for her
Honestly you've all been lovely. I don't want my friends son to miss out as I know he's looking forward to it so wouldn't ask that of her, Whatever happens, it'll be fine.. I'll sort something else out xx

OP posts:
Stompythedinosaur · 28/10/2017 20:53

I think your friend should have checked it was ok before inviting you.

I help run kids events in our village. Money is donated by people in the village and is intended for the 9 kids who live in the village. We have had other kids come, but we would need to know in advance and would expect them to cover their costs.

I would contact the organiser to see if it would be ok for your ds to come if you cover any cost and/or help with the running.

Original poster
Annoyedbaby · 28/10/2017 20:53

Vq1970 Grin x

OP posts:
littlechous · 28/10/2017 20:53

You and DS better bloody go to this party!!

FluffyNinja · 29/10/2017 09:07

OP, just go. Sounds like village lady is a bit precious. It's not a private party as they're charging an entrance fee at the door, so they can't possibly know final numbers.

Stompy In your scenario, if it was a party with presents, you would expect to know the numbers in advance so you wouldn't wait to see who turns up with their fiver on the night.

One of our nearby villages has a pub that hosts lots of children's events. There isn't a village hall so that's why the pub is the venue. The children in the village are bussed to my DS's school 4 miles away as their village school closed a few years ago.
They always charge an entry fee and it's expected that the children from outside the village will probably attend as money is money and they all know each other from school so it would be madness to turn them away!
It's unlikely that they will be overrun by the hordes children from the main town as that's much further away so they don't need to specify entry for village and xx school children only.

bianglala · 29/10/2017 09:52

What a vile woman. Where do these people come from?

Sarahrellyboo1987 · 29/10/2017 17:33

Take him anyway!