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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Uninvited to Halloween party :(

155 replies

Annoyedbaby · 28/10/2017 18:53

Just wanted a few opinions on this really as I'm not sure what to do... fairly first world problem but it's got me really prickled

My lovely friend invited my 8 yr old DS to her village's Halloween party. Low key village hall affair, £5 entrance, the more the merrier kind of thing.
DS super excited, we've got the costume ...first time he's ever wanted to dress up... all good!

Then another mum from the village (and also a mum from my DS's school) then told my friend (pretty rudely apparently) that my DS can't go as only the children in the village are allowed to go. She knows my DS thinks he's going.

AIBU to think that this is mean, petty and unnecessary Sad
What would you lovely peeps do?

OP posts:
Original poster
Annoyedbaby · 28/10/2017 20:03

You've all made me laugh, feel better and also given me a much better perspective on this!
Thank you everybody xx
I think I felt so prickly because I think she is just being nasty, but I don't that
We won't go and I'll sort something else out instead. But thanks to you all, I feel a lot better about doing that Flowers

OP posts:
CherriesInTheSnow · 28/10/2017 20:04

Hope you and your DS have a lovely night OP Halloween Smile Flowers

Pearlsaringer · 28/10/2017 20:04

How mean! They can’t know EXACTLY how many children there are in the village so it can only be an educated guess numbers wise. Your DS has been invited by a legit village resident as her guest. Don’t even think about disappointing him, take him to the party and have a brilliant time.

Original poster
Annoyedbaby · 28/10/2017 20:06

Thank you Cherries Flowers x
Pearlsaringer...you'll get me all fired up again! Grin x

OP posts:
52FestiveRoad · 28/10/2017 20:06

OP don't let the bag face cow spoil it for your DS. Just go anyway, hold your head up high and if she wants to cause a fuss about it she will just show herself up to be mean spirited in front of everyone. Seriously, who would turn away a child in costume at the door of a party?

Pengggwn · 28/10/2017 20:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

beluga425 · 28/10/2017 20:07

This is the sort of thing that scares me off countryside village life.

Pengggwn · 28/10/2017 20:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pearlsaringer · 28/10/2017 20:07

Oops, missed your last post, I’m sure you will give your DS a lovely Hallowe’en whatever you decide.

CherriesInTheSnow · 28/10/2017 20:08

The rudeness to the OP's friend and lack of will to get in touch with the OP herself (or even to ask OP's friend to pass on a message explaining the valid and sensible reasons for her 8 year old DS not being invited) are the reasons I think she is being malicious/domineering over the event.

CherriesInTheSnow · 28/10/2017 20:09

(Coupled with the fact that according to OP she knows the boy has already been invited)

donquixotedelamancha · 28/10/2017 20:09

"But like I said, I think I'll just leave it x"

Aww. I think this is a shame for DS and for you. If worries of a conflict with Tubs has really put you off, see whether you can get hold of a number for the organisation that runs it and phone them up. If it's a church hall, you could ring the local vicar/priest.

Think of the look on tub's face:

Tubs- "This is a local party, for local people"
You- " Oh OK. I'm here after speaking to Father Bob/rotary club chair/hall owner. I'll just give him/her a ring and you can explain the problem to them.

Pengggwn · 28/10/2017 20:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kali110 · 28/10/2017 20:12

Agree with Pengggwn that its hardly fair to call the other woman 'a bitch' when you have no idea why she's said its members from the village only.
I don't think she sounds like a bitch ( rather rude yes, but no not a bitch) we have no idea if they've had problems with people not from the area before.
The op doesn't have her ticket either, so the whole 'your money is just as good' doesn't apply.
I agree that its awful for her ds.
Not sure what you do for the best.
You could go and not get in, which would be even worse.
Could you
Do something with you friemnd and her child instead?

Butterymuffin · 28/10/2017 20:14

So have you spoken to your friend now and she's confirmed it's a private event? I'm not clear on what you've found out.

CherriesInTheSnow · 28/10/2017 20:15

So when I base my opinions based on speculation I'm met with incredulity by you, yet you have absolutely no basis for assuming this of the woman based on the OP's info and that's fine.

Contacting someone who have been bitchy enough to you specifically uninvite would obviously be the proper, non-bitchy thing to do. Or even to explain to the person you are already making the effort to have this convo with the reasons why, so that the OP wouldn't be left feeling put out and upset due to the woman's actions.

If there was a clear reason given then I'm sure the OP would have understood and not been left to um and ah as to whether to take her DS at all and would have had more time to arrange an alternative - something I would be very conscious of if I knew I was telling an 8 year old he couldn't come to the party he was excited about.

Are you the woman Pengywwn? Shock

OhBondageUpYours · 28/10/2017 20:15

LET'S ALL GO.

Come on OP, share all the details.

Grin
kali110 · 28/10/2017 20:16

Ffs, yes Pengggwn is the woman. Hmm
Someone disagrees,
They must be the person.

Squarerouteofsquirrel · 28/10/2017 20:16

Op is there no one else that you can clarify this with. Is there a phone number for the village hall, or advertising for it. Don’t know what her motives are for informing your friend that the event is just for locals, or even how it was brought to the attention of your friend

At the moment you don’t know if this info is factual or just her sticking her oar in, definitely ask someone else

Pengggwn · 28/10/2017 20:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 28/10/2017 20:18

Take no notice. Take your ds along to the Halloween party. Who are those clique bitches to say whether or not he can go.

Have they heard themselves, and how ridiculous they sound. He can't come to the party, because he doesn't live in the village (paraphrasing).
My 4 year nephew is more mature and that's not tongue in cheek. That's straight up.

WomblingThree · 28/10/2017 20:18

@SpinnerDryer what a ridiculous statement. I get so fucked off with someone popping up on every bloody thread bleating on that some random woman is “jealous”. What the fuck would the PTA mum be “jealous” of?

Not to mention the fact you mean ENVIOUS not sodding jealous.

TheFormidableMrsC · 28/10/2017 20:19

OP, what do you mean you won't go? Sod that! I'd go with bells on! It's a village! Let them make a show of themselves turning you away at the door, they won't. Gosh, we go over to the next village for fireworks, nobody says we don't want your money or "no you can't buy our hotdogs". Never heard anything like it! Don't give this vile cow the satisfaction. PLEASE!

Pengggwn · 28/10/2017 20:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Annoyedbaby · 28/10/2017 20:21

Donquix you're right...I hate any kind of confrontation

Butterymuffin
My friend told this other mum that she'd asked DS and that he was coming, to which the other mum said that he couldn't as it was for village children only, not that it was a private event as such..

I don't think it's a numbers problem as there aren't that many children in the village and I doubt other children from other villages would even be interested ...
But I don't know her reasons...other than the above

OP posts: