To hold a reveal party for....

[Emilybrontescorsett]

My new house?
I'm thinking I could do with some cash as buying a new house is very expensive.
So after the wave of baby shower/gender reveal/henparties/stag parties/weddings etc etc
I've thought of having a kitchen reveal party!!!!!
It would go something along the lines of
Please come to my kitchen reveal party, where I will reveal the worktops/surfaces/units I have chosen, along with flooring choice.
Please bring either a starter, main or pudding plus a bottle of fizz, make sure it is not from Aldi !!!!
Please no cheap crap!
I will enclose a gift list but really really would prefer cash.
If you do happen to bring a gift( and not cash, which is much preferred,) then it must be only from the list and on no account be from any other shop than John Lewis
If you do not live near a John Lewis then please give me cash.

I'll include a tacky poem too.

Anyone who doesn't come will be deleted from my friends list on fb after I have posted a sarcastic meme about only true friends support you in times of need and those who don't can fuck off and die!

What do you think?

Although thread bears a passing resemblance to some weddings & dos on mn

happypoobum

Well they COULD park over their neighbours dropped kerbs, but I thought this was a classy event, what with the dress codes and poems and raffles and lidl prosecco and all, so I thought traffic cones and no parking signs all down the road fitted in better. But if you think parking over dropped kerbs is fine hun then I defer to your superior knowledge .

(Flounces off loudly and sits in a corner glowering and wondering if this sort of thing happens on net mums.)

Fantastic idea!

Funky Chicken for the playlist?

Funky Chicken for the playlist?

I will not be performing my prepared choreographed dance to funky chicken

viques you are quite right. I am just not classy

Very SATC!

WTF with the Funky Chicken??? But what about all of the compulsory dance lessons that you've insisted upon for all of your guests?

Remember don’t invite any pg women (too fat) they’ll ruin your pictures
No bf women their leaky boobs might slash the marble worktop or slate floor

happypoobum

No problems babe, you have so many other wonderful qualities.

Your evening event could be White Tie OP? If they love you enough your guests won't mind the expense.

This thread is funny. I assume OP’s tongue is firmly in her cheek.

Remember at key moment to have a flash mob break into dance to uptown funk

Don't forget your guests would probably also enjoy a presentation about the benefits of aloe vera juice, available only through you.

adorn the house with huge sepia photos of yourself, your family and dc
Have an album of overpriced photos for sale after the event. Compel folk to buy
Tasteful pictures of the fridge, your spotlights,you in a swishy dress next to Miele washing machine

You do know your guests will be posting threads on Mumsnet about your cheeky fuckery and you will henceforth be known as Kitchenzilla.

You need to tease people on Facebook first by constantly alluding to 'exciting news' but not actually telling anyone, followed by cryptic photos of your feet next to the feet belonging to the kitchen table.

Can I come? I'm afraid I can't make a large monetary contribution at this time. However, I could craft you a lovely 'Live Love Laugh', 'Seasoned With Love' or 'Meals and Memories Make a Kitchen' type stencil to put up?

Once you've had the New Kitchen Reveal party and have had lots of money and presents off people, make sure you don't let those people see the new kitchen till it's at least a year old.

Don't forget, you need time to bond with your kitchen.

Wight seriously? Make something? Can't you borrow some money from someone for the occasion, take in some ironing perhaps? OP is so worth it, and her party her rulez. C'mon make some effort

Good point Luxury. Extra p/t job, babysitting, or at least sell something surely. No initiative, tsk.

I might hold a designer bag reveal party

Love it.

I'm half expecting to see a

post saying this is not in the spirit of MN

The save the date card will mean that she has plenty of time to save up - even if that means she doesn't eat for the next few months, it's a personal insult to the op not to do so.

LuxuryWoman2017 you're quite right. I'll just cancel my phone and Internet as you can totally do that without financial repercussions! I'd also need a babysitter, but I'm sure a random neighbour/a woman I once spoke to at playgroup would be more than happy to help out since I have no one else.

Sooooooooo glad you understand me Lipstick! Do you want to come as my plus 4, OP said it was a restricted guest list but that couldn't apply to me as a VIP friendquaintance of the family neighbour half removed could it???